Ok, ok, perhaps ostomates can find a life partner out there. But what about sex? This is actually one of the top questions people ask me when they find out I have an ostomy. "Can you still have sex?" I tell them, of course I can... but underneath my breath, I'm thinking "NO THANK YOU!"
Reasons why my sex life has not improved since installation of my permanent ileostomy: 1) I am in pain. I just don't feel up to making love. I have been to the doctors and had everything checked and been on testosterone shots... but nothing has helped. I do have my rectum out and my uterus has tilted after the rectum was removed. 2) When I had Crohn's/ulcerative colitis and when I had a straight ileoanal anastomosis, I often had perianal pain that made sex uncomfortable at the least and painful at times. 3) I'm worrying about having an accident during sex. It has happened where my bag clip came undone (damn Velcro bag closures). 4) I no longer have to excuse myself to go to the bathroom "just one more time." LOL 5) I think the biggest impact the ostomy has had on my sex life is in the area of self-image, not in terms of physical functioning. I've had my ostomy for almost 20 years now and I still have days where I look in the mirror and cry. Where I feel ugly and damaged and very unsexy. Then my husband will walk up behind me and kiss the back of my neck and tell me and show me how he feels about me. I know that I'm so lucky to have him. He has helped me deal with the self-image issue and picks my spirits up on those days when I feel so low. As I said before, over time I have noticed greater problems with the impact of my ostomy on my self-image. Has anyone felt this way? How did you overcome this issue? Any advice would be great! Thanks ~traci~
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