Thank you all for the advice....but Mrs. A...I have to laugh at your comment, why worry before I have a reason...I am the type of person that when calling one of my kids, if they don't answer, I automatically think they are hurt, in a ditch somewhere, crying for me!! Yes, my mind always goes to the worst-case scenario....and trust me, it's not that easy to stop thinking like that...lol...guess I was born a worrier! And iMacG5...thank you also, and yes...the surgeon was a d**k....no compassion at all....but I guess that one good thing about that hospital...you always see a different doctor each time you go....but you know, I really get tired of explaining every time I go!!!! And yes, I think you are right about the doctors not wanting to scare us...I really wasn't told too much at all....it was like, first, 'you are ok, it was just a small cancer growth, but we got it all', to 15 minutes later, 'sorry, but it IS cancer, and you will have chemo, radiation, surgery, a colostomy bag for LIFE and then more chemo'....then go home and wait for an appointment at the cancer clinic! And I waited for 1 1/2 months for an appointment....but hey...with a lot of fears and tears, I got through that....I thought I was strong...lol...but now it seems reality has set in...the beach used to be my happy place....but until I figure out how to safely get in water, it is now a very depressing place ;( ;I have NEVER been one that liked to take any meds...shoot, not even for headaches...I figure my body has been through too much crap this past year! But yes, I have realized that I need some help! I have a counselor, sweet sweet lady, and I have found a family doctor, and I love her to pieces...soooooo compassionate!! She has started me on a very low dose of antidepressant, that will also help with the neuropathy and said to come back if anything felt out of place!! My next appointment with her is in 4 weeks....yes..this whole thing has taken a toll on me...I am not, nor will I ever be the same person I started out to be.....but with all the kind words here, and knowing I'm not alone, really really helps!! Thank you all soooooo much!! Now, I pray the meds work! So far so good..no major headaches like the Zoloft gave me....maybe I'm on the right road now..........