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Chronic illness sometimes is unseen!

Posted by ~traci~ on 04/06/12


Chronic illness sometimes is unseen

by others. Others c...annot feel what they cannot see.

So if sometimes I look well, but I tell you I am in pain

... please do not judge me, I wish I "was" well again.



Illness is not my choice it's what life dealt to me.

For you to disbelieve me or doubt me,

breaks my heart.

For you are my Family, Doctor or even a Good Friend.

Must I earn your "trust" all over again?



Chronic means on and off but always there

Today I may be able to do something, tomorrow maybe I can't

I have to try hard to work within my limit.

Or the next day I may wind up at the clinic.



Funny how when you have a chronic illness and you finally adjust.

You find that it has led to another and you must handle that too.

Sometimes you have two or even more,

oh my what a chore.



Some even tell you, You can't walk anymore.

All of these illnesses robs me of my life.

I can never be normal like you

again.



It is hard for me to accept what I am going through.

I don't need the extra stress trying to convince you.



At times, I have mood swings,

I may snap at you.

If I do I am sorry, please understand,

I am angry at "me."



I try to do what I've done before

perhaps even a simple chore.

But then I find that my muscles don't seem to work anymore.



I want to be that parent, grandmother or friend

the one I "lost" when this illness came upon me.

The one I tried to be when I was there for you.

The one I "was" when I was able to do.



Every time I say no to you, don't be angry at me.

Every no I have to say reminds me

I am "not" normal anymore.



So please, don't doubt me, just try to understand.

It was not my choice! It is just God's Plan. 


Comments:


 
Jupiter - February 14th, 2012
Beautiful, it also fits my situation completely. Thanks for sharing most people don't understand.


 
Beaner - February 15th, 2012
Beautifully put! And that is why you are here, to be with people who have had their lives turned upside down and who truly understand...


 
Help_Me_Rhonda - February 15th, 2012
It amazes me to read words that seem as though they came directly from my own mind. It astounds me that there are others, in fact a whole lot of others who understand exactly the things you have written. I thought I was alone. I felt alone. Funny how the recognition that others hurt as I hurt brings me sorrow and joy. Not joy that you hurt but just joy that someone else understands.I'm thankful, so very thankful, that I stumbled upon this site. I found it a while back and forgot. (that's fun too, not being able to remember :-) ) I found it again a week or so ago and decided to take a better look. Already my life feels changed and better. Thank you for these words. Thank you for sharing. Please know that I am here for you, for any of you. -Rhonda


 
~traci~ - February 15th, 2012
Sometimes the best and most effective medicine is a hearing incouraging words from a friend that understands what you are going though!Thank you for all the kind words .....It really means so much to me to give back to you... the members as you have reached out and helped me at my darkest times though out this year!! I am very blessed to have found this site!!!


 
~traci~ - February 15th, 2012
Don't ever look back on life with regret. Remember every path walked is walked for a reason. Every day is full of its own blessings no matter how BIG or small!!!!


 
Beaner - February 15th, 2012
I love that! I should make that into a wall hanging as a reminder to myself!!!


 
Biddydi - February 16th, 2012
Thank you so much for posting this poem. You have no idea how close it has hit to my heart. You see, I have a son who is developmentally delayed and took critically ill and ended up with a colostomy. We are coming up to getting a reversal date and without this website and people like you, it would be unbearable for me. I now do not feel alone. I take one day at a time and deal with the issues as they come. I try and find a positive in every day. Thank you for sharing.


 
nogutz - February 17th, 2012
Traci those words are so true and in a crazy kind of way I still know I am blessed,Funny where life takes us! God Bless


 
sfreitag - February 18th, 2012
THANK YOU TRACI... this is my life to a nutshell. My work is saying that I am healthy and I should be back at work. My body keeps telling me other wise.


 
Bill - February 21st, 2012
Hello Traci,I really liked the poem in which you capture the concept of unseen chronicity so well. It is pertinent to me at this time in that I have been writing a few of my own verses recently on coping with illness. I'll blog the one on chronicity for you to browse.Best wishesBill



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