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Diapers for anal leakage?? how long after ileostomy?

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:36 pm    Post subject: Diapers for anal leakage?? how long after ileostomy? Reply with quote

I am trying to find out how long everyone had to wear diapers after their surgeries. my boyfriend had an ileostomy and is still having issues with anal leakage. he is still in diapers 8 weeks post surgery. please help
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 Guest





PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i am just trying to get an idea of what the normal amount of time is to wear diapers. i thought he would be able to go to the bathroom and pass the mucus by now but he is still wearing them. just wanted to know if anyone else had these same issues or if anyone has any suggestions for me to get my 30 year old boyfriend out of diapers
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 junopete





PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 12:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I did not have a lot of problem with passing anal mucus.
It was very irregular.  what I did and still do is the Kegal excersize on my anus muscle.
It will tighten up his anus and give better control.

I admire you for sticking with him. That is the way it should be.  My better half took off.

I want to add one more thing.  Once your friend gets onto how handle the ostomy, the impact on your and his life style will be almost  nothing.

Give it some time.

Good luck and sleep well

rick.....
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 beatrice





PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 1:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Poor him! Is this discharge due to
(1) the healing process (the rectum was removed as well as the colon)?

(2) Or is it discharge coming from a still-intact (but sew off where it would have met the large colon) rectum that is still in place?

I've researched this quite a bit and spoken to Drs.  What you can expect is different for everyone (don't you hate that answer - even if it's true).

Re (1) most people will experience discharge for usually 8 weeks post op. It can all go smoothly (slowly reduce in volume and is not infected) or it can be bloody, infected. Many people use the larger mentrual pads with wings instead of diapers

Re (2) When the rectum is sewn off 'at the top where it had met the large color) but left in the body, most people will experience some dishcharge and sometime "full" feeling probably always to some degree. This is because the rectum is a moist organ and it does produce dishcharge which as to 'go' somewhere. Once the op is fully healed, this dishcharge should be non-smelly (not infected), have no blood and be of of a manageable amount. If the color changes, the smell changes or there is blood, see your doc.

I'm in the #2 scenario -- with UC in my rectum complicating my Ileo recovery. I use Always brand extra long liners with wings. They are not bulky, very absorbent and do the trick.

When on the toilet, I make a point of separating my cheeks to allow the fluid to drain easier. Have never had a mess/accident because of the anal discharge - but it's a d*mn nuisance.

Hope this helps a bit.
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 WOUNDED DOE





PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi demoric Smile  Rick gave some sweet advice Smile   ...I, personally, don't have that problem so I cannot speak from experience, but now that I have met some local Ostomates in my area, I can offer this...an elder gent I've spoken with who has had an ostomy now for approx 8 years has the same problem, and like Rick stated, it's irregular.  He hates the adult diapers and is not at all ashamed to announce that his wife introduced panty liners and mini pads to him and he comfortably uses them....much prefers thin comfy thing that adheres to his underwear rather than wearing the "dydie" as he referred to it.  Good luck and cheers! Smile ~Doe
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 WOUNDED DOE





PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

beatrice wrote:
Poor him! Is this discharge due to
(1) the healing process (the rectum was removed as well as the colon)?

(2) Or is it discharge coming from a still-intact (but sew off where it would have met the large colon) rectum that is still in place?

I've researched this quite a bit and spoken to Drs.  What you can expect is different for everyone (don't you hate that answer - even if it's true).

Re (1) most people will experience discharge for usually 8 weeks post op. It can all go smoothly (slowly reduce in volume and is not infected) or it can be bloody, infected. Many people use the larger mentrual pads with wings instead of diapers

Re (2) When the rectum is sewn off 'at the top where it had met the large color) but left in the body, most people will experience some dishcharge and sometime "full" feeling probably always to some degree. This is because the rectum is a moist organ and it does produce dishcharge which as to 'go' somewhere. Once the op is fully healed, this dishcharge should be non-smelly (not infected), have no blood and be of of a manageable amount. If the color changes, the smell changes or there is blood, see your doc.

I'm in the #2 scenario -- with UC in my rectum complicating my Ileo recovery. I use Always brand extra long liners with wings. They are not bulky, very absorbent and do the trick.

When on the toilet, I make a point of separating my cheeks to allow the fluid to drain easier. Have never had a mess/accident because of the anal discharge - but it's a d*mn nuisance.

Hope this helps a bit.



Beatrice! HI!  Hey this is a lot of great info I will need to pass on!!  Thanks for posting this for us! Smile
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 Guest





PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

rick,

thanx for responding. it definitely is not easy to stay with him but i do love him. his ostomy is temporary. we were told that it can be reversed about 2-4 weeks from now. its just that i am a nurse and i used to work in surgery. i have been in contact with my surgeon friends and they say that he should have been in diapers for no more than 2 weeks after surgery. and that he should be going to the bathroom to pass the mucus normally now. so i dont know what the deal is. he has had a lot of issues with the bag leaking numeroius times and he has had 4 blockages so far. he also currenyly has a really bad case of gastritis but i am a little embarassed that he is still in the diapers. i dont know if he is just scared of leaking and so he keeps them on or what. we are supposed to go on a cruise in august and i am hoping that after the reversal he ditches the diapers. i dont know though becuase i was told by my friends that the discharge continues even after reversal. i just hopemy boyfriend is not going to be walking down the aisle in depends. that might sound rude but that is my biggest concern right now

dana
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 Guest





PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

im not too sure. i suggested pads instead of diapers but i guess he didnt take my advice. he tells me that sometimes he can go to the bathroom and pass the mucus normally and other times it just happens. he has been having a lot of issues lately so i dont want to push it but marrying a man in diapers is my biggest concern right now. his is just temporary. we were told it can be reversed in 2-4 weeks from now but that there may still be discharge after reversal. i just hope he gets rid of the diapers when he gets rid of the bag. that might sound rude and selfish but the diapers are my biggest concern right now. i have surgeon friends that told me he should have only been in diapers for 2 weeks postop so i am worried why he cant control his body and get out of them. thanx for responding

dana
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 beatrice





PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Dana,

Ok -- I'm not intending to be rough with you ... but I gotta say it.

There are so many things worse than diapers on an adult. Even one about to be married.

Yes, a wedding is very important and it's a big day with loads of expectations. I remember that there were things I was so keen on happening or not happening ... it's all water under the bridge 25 years later!

But during those 25 years, my hubby has been with me through some very messy times. Yes I sometimes wore diapers when I had UC, and there were times you could definitely 'see' them under my clothes if you were looking for them. He spent a good portion of our honeymoon waiting for me outside washrooms . He was never embarassed and still isn't to this day ... now with a bag on my tummy.

What you are thinking in not rude or selfish ... it just 'is'. It's honest. So I'll be honest. There is a chance that the reversal won't work (it happens and being a nurse, you no doubt know that). And there may be a chance that he'll feel better in diapers (for anal discharge) for some times in his life. When he tries the menstural pads, he may like them or not.

Buy some pads and leave them out for him. Unless he's having loads of discharge, they should work. He may have to go to the washroom and empty his rectum more often, but those muscles do 'train'. The unintentional discharge is happening way less for me now. It's still there, but I can void when I urinate or feel a 'fullness' in the rectum.

He's probably so scared of messing himself ... and scared of disappointing you.

Hang in there, but be realistic with yourself. Even after the reversal op, there may be discharge for awhile. Or untimely bms while his system is reregulating.

Hope this helps.
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 Rhian





PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi, I don't wear protection for 'that end' but I have had near- misses when I've had the 'urge' and had a mad dash to the loo, I remember vividly the first time  passed mucus out my rectum after my colostomy, weeks afterwards, as after my op I had a tube 'up there' collecting discharge, and I panicked like hell thinking I was passing stools, i thought something was going badly wrong until my stoma nurse told me it was just mucus! I don't get it that often, around once a week, sometimes less, sometimes more, I hope your boyfriend's problem sorts itself out soon
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 Guest





PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanx. me too
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 Jax





PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 6:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi
After 4 years of suffering from Crohn's Disease and several operations to remove my colon, anus & rectum, I still leak from where the anus used to be. I have a collection sac inside my body. For all of the 4 years I have had to wear either 1 or 2 menstrual pads (at the same time) to cover the entire area underneath me or the Depend underwear you are speaking of in case of leakage or to contain the output. In addition to the anal tract, there is sinuses (same as fistulas) going into the vagina causing pain during menstruation and anything to do with that region.

As someone else said, my husband also decided he liked me before all the problems and we are no longer together - actually 13,000 miles apart. I am still single as I have not healed from the anus removal operation and the output from the collection sac is smelly and constant.

In your situation, also being a nurse, you should understand how your partner is feeling. Although all the medical training does not prepare you for what you are "PUTTING UP WITH!"

You are the loving partner a lot of us do not have as they leave us. Stick with him and be there for him. He obviously feels embarrassed and scared of leaking from the anus and more confident in wearing the diapers.

Beatrice is correct with her words. There are times in your life you have to "grin and bear it" and put up with what you don't like. I don't like what is going on with me also with the thought that this may go on for many years to come (leakage) because of the drugs I am on to keep my CD at bay. The one particular drug is call Methotrexate and it inhibits healing.

I am not trying to be harsh with you, but I think your thoughts, especially in regards to "wearing a diaper during the wedding", is selfish. You should be hoping the reversal works as many of us have no chance of the reversal and have ongoing problems.

Hope your partner gets better and finds comfort in whatever he needs to wear to be confident in his everyday life.

JAx
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 beyondpar





PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
it definitely is not easy to stay with him but i do love him. his ostomy is temporary. we were told that it can be reversed about 2-4 weeks from now. its just that i am a nurse and i used to work in surgery. i have been in contact with my surgeon friends and they say that he should have been in diapers for no more than 2 weeks after surgery. and that he should be going to the bathroom to pass the mucus normally now. so i dont know what the deal is. he has had a lot of issues with the bag leaking numeroius times and he has had 4 blockages so far. he also currenyly has a really bad case of gastritis but i am a little embarassed that he is still in the diapers. i dont know if he is just scared of leaking and so he keeps them on or what. we are supposed to go on a cruise in august and i am hoping that after the reversal he ditches the diapers. i dont know though becuase i was told by my friends that the discharge continues even after reversal. i just hopemy boyfriend is not going to be walking down the aisle in depends. that might sound rude but that is my biggest concern right now


Dmoreric,

        Your biggest concern is walking down the aisle with your husband to be,  in diapers..   When in fact a bride to be's biggest concern should be the whole wedding and the attendees and the cake and the guests and your wonderful day.  so my first bit of advice is to try and change your focus.

The second thing is that your anxiety while is valid in regards to your husbands well being and your somewhat embarassment by the fact of him wearing a diaper,  If you can imagine ,  
mulitply that by 1000  and thats what he is feeling..........
                 
             Your husbands biggest concern is not to shit( mucous) on himself and to feel like the husband he wants to be for you while wearing a diaper.....No easy task.          He is tryng to feel like a MAN on a special day too in his life and while wearing a diaper as a middle aged man seems to strip one  of all dignity as a Male and even as a human being( I have been there and wore one for a year). I can assure you he isnt feeling too good about himself or his situation either, so tread lightly.

         I want to put it into some terms you might be able to relate to.   Its very much the same as a woman who might have a heavy menstruation and needs to wear a maxi pad,  but in this case the output is so great she needs more and needs a diaper too.. just to feel secure while wearing the pretty white dress.........well that is exactly what hes going through with regard to your suggestion for the pads...while they might work,  wearing the diaper gives him the extra security of not having an accident...Again not an easy decision for any man to make.........."Oh I think Id rather wear the diapers" wasnt his first choice......
   Imagine your husband saying to you  that his biggest fear is walking down the aisle with his wife to be, in diapers............I think you might be outraged ,  as in both situations if you had  the power to change it you would but you cant and therefore have to do what it takes to get you through.

         Whether a man is 30,40,or 80  wearing a diaper is a very difficult thing to accept or get used to or ascimilate smoothly into a relationship...........So consider yourself blessed for not being in his situation and try to dig deep and give him the support , I can assure you he is crying for at night, and try to be the loving wife you also want to be.  Dont be clouded by the medical situation he is dealing with and try and look past and see him for who he is.

  I hope I have helped,  but the one last thing I want to add.........Try your best as that is all any one  can  and should expect from our lovers, wives, husbands or caregivers...Just keep trying your best. Just keep trying your best. Just keep trying your best. ..............Till next post,    Michael
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

dmoreric wrote:


i just hopemy boyfriend is not going to be walking down the aisle in depends. that might sound rude but that is my biggest concern right now

dana


I take it you're leaving out the vow "in sickness and in health"...just saying.
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 Guest





PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 7:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dana, I dont know what you believe in, It cant be your husband, he is dying inside and your worried about depends, if you love him then Thank God  or whatever you believe that he is alive and like the other person said, what happened to In Sickness and Health, you sound very Selfish when your husband is hurting so bad as this I know and so do the rest of us on this board.  Learn to care about him and not so much About YOU.  JG
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