When Will I Feel Normal Again? A Lighthearted Take on Recovery

For many new Ostomymates, recovery time is unknown. When will I feel like my old self? Those of us well past "post-op" give pretty good estimates based on our experience.

But for me, NORMAL always makes me laugh. From the movie, Young Frankenstein. One of my favorite scenes.

Suspicious that his creation is acting strange, Dr. Frankenstein asks Igor, "Did you get the brain I told you to?" Igor smiles and says, "Yes." "What was the name of that brain?" Igor thinks for a second and says, "Abby... Abby Normal."

Too funny. I say this line at work all the time. Engineers screw up... I tell 'em, "It's normal... Abby Normal." I chuckle... they never even smile.

I once was and worked with many engineers in my previous life (before retirement). Typically, the real geniuses within the group (I was not) had no sense of humor at all. Being the fun-seeker in life, I am sure they wondered, “What is she doing here?” I believe their internal cortex developer blocked any usage of nonsensical input from those of us whose cortex developer had some major open loopholes, which led to our comedy sector of the brain. A joke among some of the lesser-than-total geniuses was… Looking for a suitable mate in the engineering department turned out to be “the odds are good, but the goods are odd!” which could have led to a match made in hell. God love those engineering geniuses though, because where would we be without them today? Uhhhh, wait, who developed AI? Asking for a friend… jb

The "odds are good, but the goods are odd." Very good summation.

Running joke in the assembly high bay is always: Amazing we got it built, and after launch/deployment... even more incredible... it works!

An answer to your "friend's" AI query: 500 monkeys banging away on keyboards. Took several generations, but got 'er done.

I think they have a name for those troops - moronkeys!  jb

Haha, I say "Abby normal" all the time, too. I'm actually one long movie quote! "You take the blonde, I'll take the one in the turban!" 😂

I have a huge, green electronic button with a dollar sign on it. Bought at Staples. It's on my desk next to the keyboard. Engineers routinely loaf around, describing their latest... blunder. I always interrupt them and give my button a couple of pushes. It blares out "Cha-Ching." Their screw-up means I have to work overtime to fix it. Bad for their project budget, profitable for my fancy dinner budget. They regale me with revised completion dates, milestone reviews, and an endless stream of engineering gobbledygook. I always smile and say "I'll get it done soon." They redouble their efforts about completion dates. I say "You'll get it real soon." Unamused by my lack of candor, they try my patience again with tales of doom if I don't fix their space widget pronto. I reply "You'll get it sooner than later" and press my Cha-Ching button once more for emphasis. This usually does the trick, and they slowly amble back to their cubicle farm somewhere in the bowels of engineering central. But this tale has a happy ending. I always deliver before their due date. Always under-promise and over-deliver. Cha-Ching.

Super Project Manager's favorite review at evaluation time - “On time and under budget.”

Super Project Manager's favorite saying: “Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

I need that huge green button here at home - when hubby comes in from the garage saying, “I've got to go back to Lowe's, I made a wrong cut on my latest wood project”... me... “cha-ching” would be much better than an 🙄 eye roll but would probably cause angst - the eye roll is never effective as it happens when he walks away 🤣. JB

I'm on a "rush" project now.

"Integrated circuit" process tooling for our wafer fabrication facility. Must be completed before the end of this year.

I get 2 or more emails a day asking for updates. Then once a week, I'm visited by an SPM (Sub Project Manager) to discuss my progress. I tell them exactly what you said, "Your lack of planning doesn't mean it's an emergency on my part." But, they don't care what I say. They just need something to report at their weekly meetings.

I bought several Harry Potter "magic wands" from Amazon earlier this year. They're pretty cool. Press a button, and the wand lights up while playing an "Ahh bra Ka Dab Ra" tune. When SPMs and PMEs (Project Management Engineers) bother me too much... I pull out the wand, wave it over their parts, and fire it up. When nothing happens, and their parts remain unfinished... I say, "Damn, must need new batteries." At first, they're confused. Then they start blathering on about "This isn't a game"... blah, blah, blah.

I gave one of these wands to many of my friends around the company. But, that's just me... a giver.

In fact, I'm leaving now for work. Won't be home till 6:00 tonight. But it's all "time and a half" and "double time" pay today. Love those engineers. Cha-ching.