Hello Cheeky Monkey,
Welcome
I agree with all that Gentle John has said in the above reply.
Also, I would add that no matter how intimate one becomes and how love grows - IF the non stoma person in the relationship finds they have a difficulty in accepting the stoma - despite their best efforts, it may be that they are unable to change their reservations .... some folk just find a 'difference' a challenge to accept unconditionally .... and in all other respects they may be an OK person
An illustration of this can also be understood with other 'changes' some folk find difficult ... [ for its not just stomas either ] ..... When I had my metal framework bolted through my leg during the process of having a fixed ankle joint, I found that a couple of really of good friends, actually found the concept of the bolts going through my flesh into my bone really difficult [they felt for me and despite this they felt really uneasy looking .... so much so, I always wore loose sports trouser bottoms to cover the leg/frme when meeting - so although this was better fro them, they still remainined extremely uncomfortable with the concept - although they felt that it 'shouldn't affect them as it did' [and, bless them, were embarrassed about how they felt too] .... needless to say both of these friends have remainined friends .... and our friendship in other respects has not changed [although I do privately think, and hope that if ever their my friends or their repective partners ever had similar bodily changes with radical surgeries themselves how well would they accept/cope!
These things are never known for sure until they are actually experienced for real, but to have shared Others respect experiences ahead of time can be helpful - so that one is not hurt in the event a relationship is not fitting for those of us who do have stomas.
Guess I am trying to convey, the point, that with some folks its not just a metter of time that is required for adjustment - And, as Gentle John and Others will concer, especially with initimacy, our situation either IS totally accepted , or it will become apparent there is a resistance- and where there is a resistance, no matter how suble - chances are difficulties will remain.
All of the above having been said - there are some very small cap type non drainable consumables [Dansac, and probably other manufacturers have them in their product ranges] , that one can use as a temporary replacement for your regular collecting pouch system, when an intimate session is expected or planned - These little round ultra mini bags are snug to the stoma with no hang-down are very good giving one near total freedom [as far as one can achieve whilst wearing something over the stoma]. Obviously, if one can time intimacy to fit in with a low output period [and it is doable for some of us - even with an ileostomy, once one gets to know your own system and what foods react in what way and likely throughput times] - and for those with a Colostomy then there is the irrigation option allowing for more control of output for a 'freedom' time window.
Over time we get to know the DOables and the 'possibles' and definately the no-nos.
Big Smile.
Hope this helps.
Good luck
Best wishes
~ ~ ~ ~ ~waves ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jayne