Hey guys. I haven't posted in awhile so here's an update. 6/16 ostomy due to diverticulitis, sigmoid colon removed. 1/17 reversal done. 3/16 reversal unsuccessful due to leakage, sepsis and near death thing. Back in bag. 9/17 take down again but wake up to illostomy for reattachment recovery. 12/17 went in for illostomy take down and wake up with bag again! Turns out colon not dilated enough. Since then I've gone through two colon dilation procedures with another day after tomorrow. I'm really, really trying to be patient and go with what needs to be done but waking up with that bag after the last hospital visit got to me a lot. I'm fighting off depression as best I can but it's getting tough. After four surgeries my body looks like a 2-year-old tried to draw a tic-tac-toe board on me. I'm not really concerned with how I look, but I am worried about how I feel. I've got a lot of surface pain spots and numbness. Oh and I don't have to worry about making babies anymore. Thank goodness that's OK by me. Anyhow, I hope this next dilation is the last and I can finally get my bag removed for the last time. Happy new year everybody and God bless.
Hey Irjosh, so sorry to read about all your stuff. I'm not a doctor and most of what I know about ostomies is from my own experience and what I've learned from folks here. I'm thinking you're a heck of a lot stronger than you think. Fighting off depression takes more energy than anyone can imagine unless they've been there. Having had my ostomy for about six years, I'm comfortable with it now and don't really care that so many folks think that's like the end of the world. It's not! Maybe you should just give yourself a break for awhile. Heal. Get comfortable with your tic-tac-toe belly and bag. Hey, what do I know? It's easy to tell others what they should do. I'm just trying to empathize from my own experiences which weren't that pleasant.
BTW, you have every right to be depressed and downright pissed off if that makes you feel any better.
With sincere respect,
Mike
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Hey Mike. Thanks. Really. I like having someone. It's comforting to know somebody's looking out. It makes me want to look out for others also but I sometimes don't feel worthy to do that. Dumb, I feel. I do want to help others. I'm going through it too. Fuck!!! I know all of us want to say fuck it, BUT. Fuck!!!!! Damn. Fuck. I'm just trying to get on with my life like us all.
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