How many people are really active on here?

Present

I stop by a couple times a week

Hi Bob,I noticed while scrolling through the "Latest Topics" that this post has 342 views and 31 replies. So what does that tell you? It seems there are still going to be many people who read a topic and don't reply, even when asked to. Interesting!

Terry

Hi Terry,

nbsp; Yeah, that is interesting. nbsp; But I'm not sure what counts as a "View". nbsp; I mean, I've looked at it like 10 times since I posted it, and if everyone who posted on it checks it every time someone else posts to it.......I can see how it got to 300+ views quickly. nbsp; So I'm not sure how many of those Views are from us.........and how many are from anyone who doesn't want to be counted. nbsp; Should be very interesting by Sunday, for sure. nbsp; nbsp

regards,

bob

Yes, I was thinking the same thing. nbsp; Another thing to keep in mind is that there may be lots of people who only check in, say once a week or once every two weeks even and they may only go back and read topics from a couple of days past or a few days past, so those people won't be captured either.

T

I read the posts and respond if I have anything new to add to the conversation A few people message me occasionally

I do not! Ok....well....yeah, I do! nbsp; But that's just because you're nice.....and you know your shit. Figuratively, of course!

;0)

Bob

Present today.

i do read your posts but there is one person who posts everyday i don't ready any of them ( memories of....) that is way over the top. he must find something else to do

This is very rude and mean spirited. nbsp; I truly hope the person it is aimed at does not read it. nbsp; You should keep these kinds of opinions to yourself. nbsp; We are all, or should be, here to support each other. nbsp; This kind of talk has no place on this site. nbsp; Be respectful, or do not post.

Terry

Hi Looking Forward,

That person is HenryM and - you are both from Florida. nbsp; His 'memories' posts are part of my morning read. What I do enjoy aside from the walks down memory lane, and the infused humor, are the excellent grammar skills that this ardent poster exhibits - a skill that many writers of the English language are losing.

I think it was Walt Whitman that said, ldquo;Be curious, not judgmental. rdquo; A cordial suggestion could simply be - to read or not to read - that is the/your choice. nbsp; Is Canada the kinder, gentler nation - oops , sorry, a little off topic - eh! Just, K.

 

Hello Looking forward. 

Thank you for your post as it once again draws attention to one of my favourite subjects for rhyming verse. This subject is, of course, ‘bullying’.

Now, there are many different manifestations of bullying and I have written several books about the more overt forms. However, the indications of covert bullying have been grossly neglected in the literature so, in recent years I have tried to rectify this situation by drawing attention to those minor signs in rhyme.

Many covert bullies do not even realise that they are indulging in bullying, or at least they will deny that this is what it is. Thus, placing the phenomenon in rhyme is not so much engaging in conversation with the bullies (who are unlikely to be listening), but helping ‘victims’ to understand what is going on so that they can better manage the potential impact.

The process of compiling my rhymes is quite simple and therefore easy to explain. For instance, with regard to your post I will take each section or concept to try to fathom what it is you are trying to say. Then, I will look for any tiny signs that you are adopting classic strategies used by covert abusers. Fortunately, in this case, your post is brief, so it is easy to break it down into its relevant segments.

1) “I do read your posts” (is a perfectly acceptable and supportive comment, which, I consider, would not fall within the remit of ‘bullying’)
2) “but” (is a word that is often used as a rejoinder to a compliment and a precursor to overturn or undermine whatever has been said before)
3) “There is one person who posts every day, I don’t read any of them (memories of---)” (This statement is, on the face of it, an acceptable statement of fact. As such, it would usually fall outside the concept of ‘covert bullying’. However, it precedes a judgemental statement:)
4) “that is way over the top”. (which, combined with the previous statement, is disparaging and deriding the ‘victim’s’ contribution to society.) This is just one of the many minor signs of bullying that I am forever on the lookout for.
5) “he must find something else to do” (From the perspective of a bully, this sort of comment might seem to be a perfectly acceptable point of view. However, this is a straightforward ‘command’, as illustrated by the word “must”. As such, it is a clear covert attempt to try to ‘tell’ someone else that they are ‘wrong’ and they should change their behaviour to bring it more in line with what the bully desires.

This is a brief overview of the analytic dissecting process I would conduct before compiling a rhyme on the subject. However, some of these concepts repeat themselves so often that I can simply resurrect an old rhyme, rather than writing a new one:

Best wishes
Bill

PS: I was very surprised that you did not mention me in your post as someone whom you do not read, as I nearly always reply to HenryM’s musings, with similar contemplations of my own.

‘TELLERS’.

Teachers, preachers and MP’s
appear to always ‘tell’ with ease.
To them it comes impulsively
to me it comes repulsively.

I must be one of very few
who don’t ‘tell’ people what to do.
I’d no more ‘tell’ them what to think
as I would ‘tell’ them what to drink.

For ‘telling’ is the bully’s role
and its main aim is to control.
The ‘teller’ wants to dominate
manipulate and subjugate.

‘Tellers’ often come on strong
for them, all other’s thoughts are wrong.
They think that they are always right
even though they may talk shite.

‘Tellers’ have a preference
for people showing deference.
If you don’t bow-down to their way
it may be you that has to pay.

‘Tellers’ may criticise and scoff
or may simply tell you off.
‘Tellers’ feel they have importance
thus justifying remonstrance.

The ‘teller’ is an orator
but also is a predator.
They look for people they can ‘tell’
and these become their clientele.

You could say that I’m fella
who does not want to be a ‘teller’.
But equally, you will behold
there is no-way I will be ‘told’.

                                B. Withers 2012

                          (in: ‘A Rhyming Cookbook’ p62

                           & 'A Prelude to Bullying' p255)

 

 

Looking forward, while many here share your accurate  assessment of "memories of" series of negative ramblings, I must caution you about giving liberals such a large dose of the truth. They simply aren't set up to digest it. However, from all the rest of us I will simply say, thanks for the chuckle. Warmest regards mmsh

MMSH

I have to admit this post actually makes me feel physically sick. nbsp; So when did showing kindness and respect become a liberal trait? nbsp; Has the U.S. really gotten to this point? nbsp; Is there no topic of conversation that has not become politicized in your country? How terribly sad and disturbing. nbsp; I feel genuinely sorry for you.

Terry

MMSH

I have to admit this post actually makes me feel physically sick. nbsp; So when did showing kindness and respect become a liberal trait? nbsp; Has the U.S. really gotten to this point? nbsp; Is there no topic of conversation that has not become politicized in your country? How terribly sad and disturbing. nbsp; I feel genuinely sorry for you.

Terry

Biases or prejudices are often based on incomplete information. When we do not have enough correct information, we fill in the gaps with judgments called assumptions - like assuming that I am a liberal.

I am a human being, MMSH, the same person you generously assisted with irrigation, a few years back, for which I am forever thankful. Your encouragement has changed my life - positively.

If we change judgments and assumptions to curiosity, one could ask why I respond the way I do. Unfortunately, there is no talking points to this thread because of assumptions, most of which have a definitive root cause. Find the cause and the effects will be minimalized or at least realized. Assumptions can live rent-free in our minds for an indefinite time.

I too, am sad for the ill-will fueled assumptions that are permeating my dear southern neighbors. I do not see any humor in what is happening. Politics is not my mantra ndash; healthy living is and with the variances developing in Covid, unless we work together, the future will remain uncertain. Our energies could be better spent. Just, K.

Oh - and I really miss the ostomates of a while back - like Ed, Xeres, Primeboy, Mooza, Wounded Doe, Lottagelady, Brooklyn, BrownEyed Girl, Dental Guy etc. because even if we had differing opinions - and boy we did at times - it was good fun and we were all respected. nbsp; The forums were many and varied. Where did those times go?

Present!

I agree, Terry:

I'm so very tired of labels being slapped on me based on someone else's presumptions and limited data. nbsp; Many other people - JUST PEOPLE! - feel the same way, I'm certain.

A person can label me "this" or label me "that", but no one will ever truly know WHO I AM as they will never be able to walk in my moccasins.

Lily17

I will go with a kinder, gentler post. I am here. I enjoy reading some of Henry's "rambles" as they strike a resonance within some aspect of my own life. And that is always welcome, as it draws a bond between two people who live in different areas and otherwise might live very different lives. I don't post as much now as I did a few years ago when I was new to my ostomy and new to the challenges that came with it. This group helped me so much when things were new and I was having a new "crisis" every week. I look back now and laugh at myself sometimes, but really, it was just a matter of getting used to a new aspect of life. Is it perfect now? No. Is it horrible now? Also no. For the most part I have adjusted and moved on to new challenges in my life (can you say Covid and a semi-compromised immune system, while working as a tax preparer meeting the public?).

The beauty of this site is that we can find information we need, enjoy reading posts on subjects that resonate with us, and ignore posts that don't.

Present also!

I am here..

 

Hello MMSH.
Thank you so much for your post which, needless to say, has provided me with another concept and prompted me to write yet another rhyme on my favourite subject of 'bullying'.
My first impression of your comments was that you considered Looking forward's post to be an: 'accurate assessment ---- of negative ramblings'. This statement is, of course, not absolute or reliable ‘truth', but an opinion or belief based on your own assumptions and perspective.
Now, from my perspective, there is nothing wrong with expressing an opinion or belief, as long as it is not likely to harm anyone else.
When opinions are expressed deliberately to belittle, disparage, or ridicule someone else, then I would consider this to be a classic sign of covert bullying (perhaps warranting a rhyme or two for the sake of 'exposure').
Of course, I would not claim my remarks (or rhymes) as being the 'truth' - just an opinion. Further to this, any rhymes emanating from the consideration of someone else's thoughts and feelings are simply another perspective. I have always thought that there should be room in this world for many different perspectives to coexist side by side, and whether they are 'truthful' will largely depend upon what hindsight (in the form of history) has to say about it.

Best wishes

Bill


BULLIES AND ‘TRUTH’
Now’days, it pays to be a sleuth,
to figure out what’s fact and truth,
for there are people who distort
what once was deemed as truthful thought.

Fake news has now become the norm,
so, truth takes on a different form,
which, when presented to our eyes
was previously perceived as lies.

But none of this would mean a lot
if all the messages we got
were checked against the facts, and then,
lies and deceit we could condemn.

Bullies will think that what is true,
is everything ‘they’ say and do,
so, people who don’t string along,
by this logic, must be wrong.

Most bullies think that what is true,
can only be ‘their’ point of view,
and all else is deceit and lies,
which they reject and will despise.

The way a bully thinks and acts
will not be guided by the facts,
but by their own opinions
and prejudiced dominions.

Bullies maintain a misbelief,
that they do not cause people grief,
but all and sundry are to blame,
and what they do, is just a game.

It’s my belief that exposure
of bullying can help with closure
for the victims of these crimes
and this is why I write my rhymes.

                                                 Be Withers 2021

 

Hey Bob, I work 72 hrs a week so I don't think to get on the site until I get an email notification from meetanostomate.org with the " latest posts". Somewhere on here I saw that there was 20,000 something members so perhaps some like me just have time to read instead of post unless they have a question or comment.HERE for several years

Present.

Bob ...And the final count is ?....

Hi Ritz,

Oh man...........I have to count?But some posted more than once.......and I'm out of fingers and toes. OK...best guess is 40ish. So 22,099 members minus 40 only leaves around ;22,059 unaccounted for.......or 99.82 of members not paying attention this week. Not bad. Sorry, I'm laughing my ab-ass off..........might have to go change my barrier!!

Hey, let's just focus on quality, not quantity. I'm sure there are lots of forums out there that only have an activity rate of less than 2...........like..............umm...........well there's...............ok, someone help me out here...................did ya hear me............HEEEEEELP!!!

Regardless.......we all learned something. Thanks to everyone who chimed in.

;0)

bob

Bob

I counted 38 ! Mmmmm, but I'll go with 22 ! What the hell !

Hi Ritz,

nbsp; Yeah, I just threw in a couple more figuring there were some folks that REALLY REALLY wanted to be counted..........but just couldn't bring themselves to come out of the shadows. 38 it is then. nbsp; Recalculating.........0.17. A new low! nbsp; nbsp

nbsp; The good news is if I wanted to buy everyone a beer it wouldn't cost very much!! nbsp; nbsp

Thanks again folks!

regards,

bob

Good Evening Bob and All,

I checked my email and saw new postings. That's when I usually visit the site. I've recently met a few others who have developed UC and have made contact with them. I've directed them to this site. I also use the site to look up concerns they or I have. This site has been unusually helpful to me. I have seen questions and concerns of others posted. After I scroll down and see similar comments that I would make, I don't comment. As for social media interest, I have a Facebook account (due to work). As of this date, I have one Facebook Friend (and don't even know how that happened). I find the content here more relevant to my life. Then again, I'm old school. If I want to see how a friend is doing I just make a call.

Stay Safe and Sane all. Back to the hockey game,

SharkFan

Salud. A generous offer but the dent in your pocket will depend on the type of beer served. A half pint each for two lucky participants will cost US400 if the beer is Carlsberg Jacobsen Vintage No. 1. Please specify which beer is being served and what will the ladies will get to drink. What a good idea, Bob, it will bring all the reluctant posters to pitch in. Best wishes.