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Is it me?

Sun Mar 27, 2022 5:30 pm
"This is the best website for people with an Ostomy, hands down. So much understanding. Everyone should join."

Strange site, Hello there, I am in no way belittling this site, but it does seem very strange, I consider my self an ordinary average hard working guy that happens to have a stoma, I came on this site mainly to get some answers (help) for myself, but also with an open mind that if I could help anyone I would do likewise, I have reached out to many with little or no response, many of whom are on here every day, it seems you have to fit into certain categorys before correspondence can be made, and I thought you just needed a stoma or similar, to qualify as an ostomate, maybe being dyslexic doesn’t help, but to those of you that have had the courtesy of replying to me I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart…best wishes Hamish.

Sun Mar 27, 2022 5:36 pm

Depending on who and how you are trying to talk to people has a lot to do with it. For me, I’m not a paying member so I can only reply to a message that some sends me, I can’t start a conversation. On the private chat, I can only respond if someone else starts the chat. Then, I can only respond if the person starting it stays online. If that person leaves, it ends the chat. 

MeetAnOstoMate - 26,920 members
Sun Mar 27, 2022 5:38 pm

Hi Hamish!

     I’m not sure.. I talk to everyone. 😂

-Rae

Sun Mar 27, 2022 5:46 pm

Don't feel like the Lone Ranger.  I've sent private messages to a number of people, typically seeking to make them feel at home, or ask them a question, or comment on a photo (like I did with your wonderful sailboat), and rarely have I gotten a reply.  I think some people may come to the site with expectations that aren't realistic, or they discourage easily, or they just don't make this a regular stop on their day.  Or maybe they have a look at my frightening photograph and decide I must be a predator...  stay with us, sailor.


Sun Mar 27, 2022 8:28 pm

Hi Hamish , give it time .☘. There's a lot of knowlege and friendship here so don't give up too soon .

Eamon ☘


Sun Mar 27, 2022 8:48 pm

Hello Hamish!  I’ve been here just a short while, a month or two, and it didn’t take me long to get myself rolling. It took me starting a couple of posts with very direct questions and Then answers came forth, and I got to know other members bit by bit.  

So please bring on a series of posts with the questions you’ve got, and bring help to those of us that have asked questions. You won’t be sorry, I promise. I will be watching for you on the Forum, the Ostomy section.  See you there. My name is Angela. 


Sun Mar 27, 2022 8:49 pm

Hello Hamish!  I’ve been here just a short while, a month or two, and it didn’t take me long to get myself rolling. It took me starting a couple of posts with very direct questions and Then answers came forth, and I got to know other members bit by bit.  

So please bring on a series of posts with the questions you’ve got, and bring help to those of us that have asked questions. You won’t be sorry, I promise. I will be watching for you on the Forum, the Ostomy section.  See you there. My name is Angela. 

Mon Mar 28, 2022 2:15 am

Hello Hamish.

Thanks for your post.  It is interesting to have differing perspectives on people's experiences of using this site. I have been visiting here a while and most of my correspondence is via the forum and the blogs, as I feel the conversations about stomas are best shared with everyone so that all can contribute. There are many subjects that I feel I cannot constructively contribute to, so rather than  persistently admitting to my ignorance, I might tend to omit posting  on those occasions.  It would be almost impossible for me to find the time to reply to all the posts as I usually only come on here first thing in the morning. So, if it is a working day, the time for this is very short. 

There is a useful section on here listing people's 'unanswered posts', which I occasionally browse through to see if there might be something I can contribute to those posts that have not received any replies. Sometimes I am able to think of something to say and sometimes the concepts completely elude my creative endeavours.  What I have found generally, is that when people post questions/problems etc, relating to their stomas, there is usually a flurry of correspondence from people trying to help. 

It is most pleasing to see that you are receiving a number of replies to this post and I hope this trend continues for you in any future posts you place on here. 

One of the things I tend to look for is the number of people who 'like' different posts without necessarily replying. This is an indication that people are interested enough to read and 'listen' to what is being discussed.  There might be many people out there who may not be great at writing, but are maybe better at listening. 

Best wishes

Bill 

Mon Mar 28, 2022 7:51 am

Plus it’s the site, like AlexT stated the free membership is limited, I have the life time membership and send messages to people all the time and never get a response, it would be helpful if their we some way to know who is at what membership level so we know what people have access to.

Mon Mar 28, 2022 7:59 am


Cplumber wrote:

Plus it’s the site, like AlexT stated the free membership is limited, I have the life time membership and send messages to people all the time and never get a response, it would be helpful if the...

From what I can gather, the only thing being a non paying member limits me to as far as either messaging or chatting with someone privately is I can’t start the conversations. I’m not sure why anyone that receives a message doesn’t respond, even if it’s just a “hi” or “I’m not interested” , no need to be rude and completely ignore people. 

Mon Mar 28, 2022 3:19 pm

Hi Hamish,  As someone who has already had a pleasant back and forth with you via 'private message', I'm surprised to learn that this has not always been your experience when reaching out.  We are a very friendly and supportive bunch and I hope you won't let this discourage you from staying on.  I can only hazard a guess on why someone might choose not to respond, but perhaps some people might wonder what your intentions are when sending a private message.  There are members here who are looking for romantic partners as well as members, like myself, who are only looking for friendship and support.  I don't know if this might have anything to do with it, just a guess.  Anyway, I'm sure that posting questions in the forum will get you responses and I hope to see you here from now on.

Terry

Tue Mar 29, 2022 1:27 pm

I'm a free member as well and can't initiate conversations. I also came on to get information and to be with like minded individuals. I haven't been coming on as much anymore due to some of the restrictions

Tue Mar 29, 2022 1:29 pm


wiljpeters wrote:

I'm a free member as well and can't initiate conversations. I also came on to get information and to be with like minded individuals. I haven't been coming on as much anymore due to some of the res...

What other restrictions are causing problems for you? 

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