IT WOULD BE AN UNDERSTATEMENT to say that opera isn’t for everybody. “Somebody stepped on the cat’s tail,” my father-in-law used to say (I’ve been told) whenever he heard me listening to a great soprano hit a high C. For the record, I don’t like opera; I like opera music. The difference is that the stories told in operas are generally ludicrous tearjerkers that wouldn’t get past a high school story collection editor. Prime examples are the two operas that I have actually attended: Puccini’s TOSCA and his LA BOHÈME. Like most operas, they are unrealistic, overwhelming, hysterical, emotionally destructive works, with story lines that stretch one’s credulity beyond reason. “Opera,” quipped Robert Benchley, “is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.” So I try my best to totally ignore the plot and focus on the music, some of which is the most stirring and beautiful ever written. I include Mozart and Verdi, along with Puccini, as my favorites. Even Wagner, whose operas were over-long, over-wrought bladder-testers, include some gorgeous melodies. But your average realist would be put off by the fact that, in opera, characters don’t speak; they sing! Since the human voice is one of my favorite instruments, I’m not offended by this bit of operatic hyperbole. Just listening to arias sung by Maria Callas or Renee Fleming is enough to lift me above the common tedium of a normal day and cause me to feel, deep down, as if I’ve participated in some grand adventure, and when I'm cooking Italian food, the sound of a great tenor helps me get the spices right.
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