Ostomy Memories of Pill Taking

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509
HenryM

WE ALL TAKE PILLS.  MY REGIMEN includes a bunch in the morning, then a few more in the evening.  You’d think that I’d get used to it by now, but I’m a terrible pill taker.  My swallow reflex seems to jam up on me once in a while, as if it has a mind of its own.  I’m fully aware that, psychologically, I’m aiding and abetting the problem.  I can’t do anything about that, however.  I’ve always hated taking pills, just like I’ve always hated the NY Yankees.  No amount of self-reflection is apt to change those predispositions.  At least I’m not having to take any controlled substances.  I didn’t even do that in the drug-crazed Sixties.  (Well, not counting a little weed.)  I was resolved to expand my consciousness on my own, thank you very much.  Even now, I rarely will take even aspirin or similar substances.  I haven’t had occasion to try Viagra, tho’ I did just hear a good joke about it:  Grandparents visit their son and his family over-night.  While in the bathroom, the grandfather notices some Viagra, so he asks his son about it.  You don’t want to fool with it, his son says.  Besides, they cost $10 each.  I want to try one, says the granddad.  I’ll leave you $10 under the pillow before we leave tomorrow morning.  The next day, after his parents have departed, the son finds $110 under the pillow.  He calls his dad.  “I told you it was $10,” he reminds him.  “I know,” says his old dad.  “The other $100 is from grandma.”  

AlexT

Grandma is going to blow all her bingo money now.

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ron in mich

Hi Henry, I hear you on the pill swallowing. After having NG tubes jammed down my throat, the ability to swallow pills, bread, and cake is an ordeal.

Justbreathe

The worst is when you are hospitalized and a nurse comes in with a cupful of God-knows-what kind of pills and says "here, take these"; I feel sorry for them because I know this request must be met with an evil eye from her patients.

I would say "yeah right, but it's gonna take me a little time". I finally learned that if I hold a whole bunch of water in the back of my throat and then drop the pill in, I can actually swallow it without a problem....of course, I had to conjure up the idea that the water was actually Captain Morgan and Diet Coke! Today, I am pretty much drug-free...a baby aspirin and a B12 - big pharma is missing me bunches and I am guessing the docs are anxiously awaiting my return.

AlexT

When I was going through chemotherapy, I took 10 chemo pills per day for 2 weeks, had a week off, and then took 10 per day for another 2 weeks. I did that routine from August through mid-January. Additionally, I was taking something else once a day. I also started taking Imodium since I was experiencing 20-30 episodes of diarrhea per day. By the end, I felt like a Pez dispenser and I became so sick of taking pills that I literally had to set the bottle out on the counter by itself in order to remember if I had taken them or not. Before I started all that, I probably took 10 Advil in the last 20 years. Now, I take 1 pill per day to help me urinate due to my system getting all messed up from surgery. However, if I can find a hot grandma who likes to "wiggle," this Viagra pill sounds interesting.

 
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lovely

I have to take a lot of pills, so I drink several glasses of water before I take them. Then, like "Justbreathe" said, I hold a drink in my mouth and make sure the pills get wet before swallowing.