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Diapers for anal leakage? how long after ileostomy?

Past Member
Posted by Past Member, on Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:36 pm
I am trying to find out how long everyone had to wear diapers after their surgeries. my boyfriend had an ileostomy and is still having issues with anal leakage. he is still in diapers 8 weeks post surgery. please help
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:45 pm
i am just trying to get an idea of what the normal amount of time is to wear diapers. i thought he would be able to go to the bathroom and pass the mucus by now but he is still wearing them. just wanted to know if anyone else had these same issues or if anyone has any suggestions for me to get my 30 year old boyfriend out of diapers
Reply by junopete, on Fri Apr 16, 2010 12:52 am
I did not have a lot of problem with passing anal mucus.
It was very irregular.  what I did and still do is the Kegal excersize on my anus muscle.
It will tighten up his anus and give better control.

I admire you for sticking with him. That is the way it should be.  My better half took off.

I want to add one more thing.  Once your friend gets onto how handle the ostomy, the impact on your and his life style will be almost  nothing.

Give it some time.

Good luck and sleep well

rick.....
Reply by beatrice, on Fri Apr 16, 2010 1:59 am
Poor him! Is this discharge due to
(1) the healing process (the rectum was removed as well as the colon)?

(2) Or is it discharge coming from a still-intact (but sew off where it would have met the large colon) rectum that is still in place?

I've researched this quite a bit and spoken to Drs.  What you can expect is different for everyone (don't you hate that answer - even if it's true).

Re (1) most people will experience discharge for usually 8 weeks post op. It can all go smoothly (slowly reduce in volume and is not infected) or it can be bloody, infected. Many people use the larger mentrual pads with wings instead of diapers

Re (2) When the rectum is sewn off 'at the top where it had met the large color) but left in the body, most people will experience some dishcharge and sometime "full" feeling probably always to some degree. This is because the rectum is a moist organ and it does produce dishcharge which as to 'go' somewhere. Once the op is fully healed, this dishcharge should be non-smelly (not infected), have no blood and be of of a manageable amount. If the color changes, the smell changes or there is blood, see your doc.

I'm in the #2 scenario -- with UC in my rectum complicating my Ileo recovery. I use Always brand extra long liners with wings. They are not bulky, very absorbent and do the trick.

When on the toilet, I make a point of separating my cheeks to allow the fluid to drain easier. Have never had a mess/accident because of the anal discharge - but it's a d*mn nuisance.

Hope this helps a bit.
Reply by WOUNDED DOE, on Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:02 am
Hi demoric Smile  Rick gave some sweet advice Smile   ...I, personally, don't have that problem so I cannot speak from experience, but now that I have met some local Ostomates in my area, I can offer this...an elder gent I've spoken with who has had an ostomy now for approx 8 years has the same problem, and like Rick stated, it's irregular.  He hates the adult diapers and is not at all ashamed to announce that his wife introduced panty liners and mini pads to him and he comfortably uses them....much prefers thin comfy thing that adheres to his underwear rather than wearing the "dydie" as he referred to it.  Good luck and cheers! Smile ~Doe
Reply by WOUNDED DOE, on Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:19 am
                                 
beatrice wrote:
Poor him! Is this discharge due to
(1) the healing process (the rectum was removed as well as the colon)?

(2) Or is it discharge coming from a still-intact (but sew off where it would have met the large colon) rectum that is still in place?

I've researched this quite a bit and spoken to Drs.  What you can expect is different for everyone (don't you hate that answer - even if it's true).

Re (1) most people will experience discharge for usually 8 weeks post op. It can all go smoothly (slowly reduce in volume and is not infected) or it can be bloody, infected. Many people use the larger mentrual pads with wings instead of diapers

Re (2) When the rectum is sewn off 'at the top where it had met the large color) but left in the body, most people will experience some dishcharge and sometime "full" feeling probably always to some degree. This is because the rectum is a moist organ and it does produce dishcharge which as to 'go' somewhere. Once the op is fully healed, this dishcharge should be non-smelly (not infected), have no blood and be of of a manageable amount. If the color changes, the smell changes or there is blood, see your doc.

I'm in the #2 scenario -- with UC in my rectum complicating my Ileo recovery. I use Always brand extra long liners with wings. They are not bulky, very absorbent and do the trick.

When on the toilet, I make a point of separating my cheeks to allow the fluid to drain easier. Have never had a mess/accident because of the anal discharge - but it's a d*mn nuisance.

Hope this helps a bit.



Beatrice! HI!  Hey this is a lot of great info I will need to pass on!!  Thanks for posting this for us! Smile
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:11 am
rick,

thanx for responding. it definitely is not easy to stay with him but i do love him. his ostomy is temporary. we were told that it can be reversed about 2-4 weeks from now. its just that i am a nurse and i used to work in surgery. i have been in contact with my surgeon friends and they say that he should have been in diapers for no more than 2 weeks after surgery. and that he should be going to the bathroom to pass the mucus normally now. so i dont know what the deal is. he has had a lot of issues with the bag leaking numeroius times and he has had 4 blockages so far. he also currenyly has a really bad case of gastritis but i am a little embarassed that he is still in the diapers. i dont know if he is just scared of leaking and so he keeps them on or what. we are supposed to go on a cruise in august and i am hoping that after the reversal he ditches the diapers. i dont know though becuase i was told by my friends that the discharge continues even after reversal. i just hopemy boyfriend is not going to be walking down the aisle in depends. that might sound rude but that is my biggest concern right now

dana
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:16 am
im not too sure. i suggested pads instead of diapers but i guess he didnt take my advice. he tells me that sometimes he can go to the bathroom and pass the mucus normally and other times it just happens. he has been having a lot of issues lately so i dont want to push it but marrying a man in diapers is my biggest concern right now. his is just temporary. we were told it can be reversed in 2-4 weeks from now but that there may still be discharge after reversal. i just hope he gets rid of the diapers when he gets rid of the bag. that might sound rude and selfish but the diapers are my biggest concern right now. i have surgeon friends that told me he should have only been in diapers for 2 weeks postop so i am worried why he cant control his body and get out of them. thanx for responding

dana
Reply by beatrice, on Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:06 pm
Hi Dana,

Ok -- I'm not intending to be rough with you ... but I gotta say it.

There are so many things worse than diapers on an adult. Even one about to be married.

Yes, a wedding is very important and it's a big day with loads of expectations. I remember that there were things I was so keen on happening or not happening ... it's all water under the bridge 25 years later!

But during those 25 years, my hubby has been with me through some very messy times. Yes I sometimes wore diapers when I had UC, and there were times you could definitely 'see' them under my clothes if you were looking for them. He spent a good portion of our honeymoon waiting for me outside washrooms . He was never embarassed and still isn't to this day ... now with a bag on my tummy.

What you are thinking in not rude or selfish ... it just 'is'. It's honest. So I'll be honest. There is a chance that the reversal won't work (it happens and being a nurse, you no doubt know that). And there may be a chance that he'll feel better in diapers (for anal discharge) for some times in his life. When he tries the menstural pads, he may like them or not.

Buy some pads and leave them out for him. Unless he's having loads of discharge, they should work. He may have to go to the washroom and empty his rectum more often, but those muscles do 'train'. The unintentional discharge is happening way less for me now. It's still there, but I can void when I urinate or feel a 'fullness' in the rectum.

He's probably so scared of messing himself ... and scared of disappointing you.

Hang in there, but be realistic with yourself. Even after the reversal op, there may be discharge for awhile. Or untimely bms while his system is reregulating.

Hope this helps.
Reply by Rhian, on Fri Apr 16, 2010 5:24 pm
Hi, I don't wear protection for 'that end' but I have had near- misses when I've had the 'urge' and had a mad dash to the loo, I remember vividly the first time  passed mucus out my rectum after my colostomy, weeks afterwards, as after my op I had a tube 'up there' collecting discharge, and I panicked like hell thinking I was passing stools, i thought something was going badly wrong until my stoma nurse told me it was just mucus! I don't get it that often, around once a week, sometimes less, sometimes more, I hope your boyfriend's problem sorts itself out soon
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:31 pm
thanx. me too
Jax
Reply by Jax, on Sat Apr 17, 2010 6:18 am
Hi
After 4 years of suffering from Crohn's Disease and several operations to remove my colon, anus & rectum, I still leak from where the anus used to be. I have a collection sac inside my body. For all of the 4 years I have had to wear either 1 or 2 menstrual pads (at the same time) to cover the entire area underneath me or the Depend underwear you are speaking of in case of leakage or to contain the output. In addition to the anal tract, there is sinuses (same as fistulas) going into the vagina causing pain during menstruation and anything to do with that region.

As someone else said, my husband also decided he liked me before all the problems and we are no longer together - actually 13,000 miles apart. I am still single as I have not healed from the anus removal operation and the output from the collection sac is smelly and constant.

In your situation, also being a nurse, you should understand how your partner is feeling. Although all the medical training does not prepare you for what you are "PUTTING UP WITH!"

You are the loving partner a lot of us do not have as they leave us. Stick with him and be there for him. He obviously feels embarrassed and scared of leaking from the anus and more confident in wearing the diapers.

Beatrice is correct with her words. There are times in your life you have to "grin and bear it" and put up with what you don't like. I don't like what is going on with me also with the thought that this may go on for many years to come (leakage) because of the drugs I am on to keep my CD at bay. The one particular drug is call Methotrexate and it inhibits healing.

I am not trying to be harsh with you, but I think your thoughts, especially in regards to "wearing a diaper during the wedding", is selfish. You should be hoping the reversal works as many of us have no chance of the reversal and have ongoing problems.

Hope your partner gets better and finds comfort in whatever he needs to wear to be confident in his everyday life.

JAx
Reply by beyondpar, on Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:54 pm
                                 
Quote:
it definitely is not easy to stay with him but i do love him. his ostomy is temporary. we were told that it can be reversed about 2-4 weeks from now. its just that i am a nurse and i used to work in surgery. i have been in contact with my surgeon friends and they say that he should have been in diapers for no more than 2 weeks after surgery. and that he should be going to the bathroom to pass the mucus normally now. so i dont know what the deal is. he has had a lot of issues with the bag leaking numeroius times and he has had 4 blockages so far. he also currenyly has a really bad case of gastritis but i am a little embarassed that he is still in the diapers. i dont know if he is just scared of leaking and so he keeps them on or what. we are supposed to go on a cruise in august and i am hoping that after the reversal he ditches the diapers. i dont know though becuase i was told by my friends that the discharge continues even after reversal. i just hopemy boyfriend is not going to be walking down the aisle in depends. that might sound rude but that is my biggest concern right now


Dmoreric,

        Your biggest concern is walking down the aisle with your husband to be,  in diapers..   When in fact a bride to be's biggest concern should be the whole wedding and the attendees and the cake and the guests and your wonderful day.  so my first bit of advice is to try and change your focus.

The second thing is that your anxiety while is valid in regards to your husbands well being and your somewhat embarassment by the fact of him wearing a diaper,  If you can imagine ,  
mulitply that by 1000  and thats what he is feeling..........
                 
             Your husbands biggest concern is not to shit( mucous) on himself and to feel like the husband he wants to be for you while wearing a diaper.....No easy task.          He is tryng to feel like a MAN on a special day too in his life and while wearing a diaper as a middle aged man seems to strip one  of all dignity as a Male and even as a human being( I have been there and wore one for a year). I can assure you he isnt feeling too good about himself or his situation either, so tread lightly.

         I want to put it into some terms you might be able to relate to.   Its very much the same as a woman who might have a heavy menstruation and needs to wear a maxi pad,  but in this case the output is so great she needs more and needs a diaper too.. just to feel secure while wearing the pretty white dress.........well that is exactly what hes going through with regard to your suggestion for the pads...while they might work,  wearing the diaper gives him the extra security of not having an accident...Again not an easy decision for any man to make.........."Oh I think Id rather wear the diapers" wasnt his first choice......
   Imagine your husband saying to you  that his biggest fear is walking down the aisle with his wife to be, in diapers............I think you might be outraged ,  as in both situations if you had  the power to change it you would but you cant and therefore have to do what it takes to get you through.

         Whether a man is 30,40,or 80  wearing a diaper is a very difficult thing to accept or get used to or ascimilate smoothly into a relationship...........So consider yourself blessed for not being in his situation and try to dig deep and give him the support , I can assure you he is crying for at night, and try to be the loving wife you also want to be.  Dont be clouded by the medical situation he is dealing with and try and look past and see him for who he is.

  I hope I have helped,  but the one last thing I want to add.........Try your best as that is all any one  can  and should expect from our lovers, wives, husbands or caregivers...Just keep trying your best. Just keep trying your best. Just keep trying your best. ..............Till next post,    Michael
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:06 pm
                                 
dmoreric wrote:


i just hopemy boyfriend is not going to be walking down the aisle in depends. that might sound rude but that is my biggest concern right now

dana


I take it you're leaving out the vow "in sickness and in health"...just saying.
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Sun Apr 18, 2010 7:08 am
Dana, I dont know what you believe in, It cant be your husband, he is dying inside and your worried about depends, if you love him then Thank God  or whatever you believe that he is alive and like the other person said, what happened to In Sickness and Health, you sound very Selfish when your husband is hurting so bad as this I know and so do the rest of us on this board.  Learn to care about him and not so much About YOU.  JG
Reply by janice, on Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:43 pm
WOW!.......trying REAL HARD not to judge here.....ur worried about him walking down the isle & your cruise????  How old are you??
Reply by janice, on Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:48 pm
                                 
dmoreric wrote:
im not too sure. i suggested pads instead of diapers but i guess he didnt take my advice. he tells me that sometimes he can go to the bathroom and pass the mucus normally and other times it just happens. he has been having a lot of issues lately so i dont want to push it but marrying a man in diapers is my biggest concern right now. his is just temporary. we were told it can be reversed in 2-4 weeks from now but that there may still be discharge after reversal. i just hope he gets rid of the diapers when he gets rid of the bag. that might sound rude and selfish but the diapers are my biggest concern right now. i have surgeon friends that told me he should have only been in diapers for 2 weeks postop so i am worried why he cant control his body and get out of them. thanx for responding

dana


um....yes!  It DOES sound VERY rude & selfish! Your concern SHOULD be about HIM & HIS health.  When you marry someone you're in it for the long haul!  If I were you, I'd think twice before getting married to him.  What if the surgery can't be reversed?  What if he has to stay in Depends forever?  What if he has ostomies forever??  

We are so much more then our ostomies or our Depends! If you can't see that, I don't think you're quite ready to marry!
Reply by janice, on Sun Apr 18, 2010 7:07 pm
                                 
J.Maree wrote:
                                 
dmoreric wrote:


i just hopemy boyfriend is not going to be walking down the aisle in depends. that might sound rude but that is my biggest concern right now

dana


I take it you're leaving out the vow "in sickness and in health"...just saying.



AGREED JO!
Reply by lottagelady, on Sun Apr 18, 2010 7:42 pm
I pass this mucous too - used to be every morning but now all that seems to have changed and I am all blocked up for what reason I do not know ... every now and then my output bypasses the loop of my ileo and comes out where it should naturally, but also through my vagina and through a fistula I have on my perineum, at times like these it is much easier to wear something that will  help in a situation where you are unable to control things - there by the Grace of God go you - hopefully you are never going to be in the situation that a lot of us here may be in and have to deal with such issues - if you do then I hope you have the support of your loved one still ....

A reversal in 2-4 weeks also sounds quite soon - he  hasn't really had much time to get over the previous surgery ....?

Hoping he gets better soon .... Rachel
Jax
Reply by Jax, on Mon Apr 19, 2010 6:13 am
Dana

I hope you have read and understood what all of us have wrote. You have hit quite a few raw nerves here and understandably so. .

As Janice put it, I think you are thinking more of what others might say at the wedding and of yourself than your suffering hubby to be and you are not ready to marry a man who may be an ostomate or have ongoing problems for the rest of his life... Is this such a tragedy? NO!!!

What really got to me was when you said you were a nurse. That profession is supposed to show compassion and understanding to their patients and those around them. It sounds to me you missed those lessons and show little compassion especially for your hubby to be and he should be your main concern at this present time.

Grow up and think of his heart and your love for him, not his physical appearance or what he feels comfortable in wearing due to a medical condition. Think about how you would feel in his situation...

This is my last say on this because every time I read your words it upsets me so much to think that someone so young can be so cynical.

I hope he heals well and gets better and the reversal goes ahead and all is well thereafter. This situation is not his fault!

Jax
Reply by gutenberg, on Mon Apr 19, 2010 9:33 am
Hi Demoreic, my difficulty with your problem, you say you are a nurse, you must have come across ostomy patients before but you probably never see them after they leave and that is when the patients need help and understanding the most. We are never told what CAN happen to us and for how long a stretch it will last. It sounds like he is one of the lucky ones as a LOT of us on this board will never have the opportunity to have a reversal.
I have never had any bowel problem of any sort but I am an ileostimate for life because of my surgeons screw up, (and I only use those words because the Administrators would delete what I really mean), use your imagination, what I wouldn't give to have to be able to wear diapers and have a hope of having this thing reversed. If you can't give 100% support now, I believe you best reassess your position. That's all I will say on this matter, Ed
Reply by busyfoot98, on Mon Apr 19, 2010 2:49 pm
Hi.

I have had an ileostomy for nearly 7 years.  My ileo is temporary, however, I will never have it reversed because there is no other option for me.  I would say that every few months, I experience leakage (mucus & even  stool, at times) from my anus.  I have been to see my surgeon and he doesn't seem to concerned about it.  He just said that if causes to much of an issue that we could remove the colon.  

I can tell you that while it is not a health issue, it is a social issue and an issue when it comes to feeling comfortable with yourself.  I am constantly on guard and hate being around anybody when I am experiencing this.  It usually lasts about 3 - 5 days.  It is extremely frustrating and annoying since I work full time in an office and with the public.  

When I realize that I am having leakage, I wear the ultra thin night time pad with wings.  They are more comfortable than diapers and work quite well, even when my bladder has had the occassional leakage.  

Also, I would like to mention that on occassion, a few times a year (3 or 4), that I experience this intense pain in my colon.  It is like someone or something has this very sharp instrument and it is scrapping down the inside of my colon.  Hurts like hell.    I have also spoke to the doctor about this and was told that if it becomes too much of an issue that he would look at removing the colon.  

Has anyone else experienced this type of pain?  

I hope this had helped with the leakage.
Reply by janice, on Mon Apr 19, 2010 3:25 pm
                                 
busyfoot98 wrote:
Hi.

I have had an ileostomy for nearly 7 years.  My ileo is temporary, however, I will never have it reversed because there is no other option for me.  I would say that every few months, I experience leakage (mucus & even  stool, at times) from my anus.  I have been to see my surgeon and he doesn't seem to concerned about it.  He just said that if causes to much of an issue that we could remove the colon.  

I can tell you that while it is not a health issue, it is a social issue and an issue when it comes to feeling comfortable with yourself.  I am constantly on guard and hate being around anybody when I am experiencing this.  It usually lasts about 3 - 5 days.  It is extremely frustrating and annoying since I work full time in an office and with the public.  

When I realize that I am having leakage, I wear the ultra thin night time pad with wings.  They are more comfortable than diapers and work quite well, even when my bladder has had the occassional leakage.  

Also, I would like to mention that on occassion, a few times a year (3 or 4), that I experience this intense pain in my colon.  It is like someone or something has this very sharp instrument and it is scrapping down the inside of my colon.  Hurts like hell.    I have also spoke to the doctor about this and was told that if it becomes too much of an issue that he would look at removing the colon.  

Has anyone else experienced this type of pain?  

I hope this had helped with the leakage.


I have an iliostomy on my right and a mucas fistula on my left.  I guess that takes the place of passing mucas through the rectum?  I put one of the small closed end pouches on it.
Reply by lottagelady, on Mon Apr 19, 2010 5:38 pm
                                 
busyfoot98 wrote:
Hi.



Also, I would like to mention that on occassion, a few times a year (3 or 4), that I experience this intense pain in my colon.  It is like someone or something has this very sharp instrument and it is scrapping down the inside of my colon.  Hurts like hell.    I have also spoke to the doctor about this and was told that if it becomes too much of an issue that he would look at removing the colon.  

Has anyone else experienced this type of pain?  

I hope this had helped with the leakage.



Hi Busyfoot.....

Yes, this has happened to me - usually the same,  about every 3/4 months stool bypasses the loop of the ileo, I am in agony and end up in hospital for a couple of days with a good dose of cylcomorph helping stuff along ..... hasn't happened since last September and as a result I am now constipated in my colon somewhere and I can feel it through my hernia - lumpy and hard - problem is I have a recto-vaginal fistula so I cannot take anything orally as it would go through the ileo nor can I take anything rectally as it would come out my fistula ..... sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place, literally! xx
Reply by WOUNDED DOE, on Thu Apr 22, 2010 1:08 pm
Dana.....I have avoided responding until now because your statement:

"i just hope my boyfriend is not going to be walking down the aisle in depends. that might sound rude but that is my biggest concern right now "

...turned this Doe into a freakin' Pit Bull. Might "sound rude"??!! "Rude" is putting that statement lightly and is a very small assessment of the bigger picture behind that statement.

I have a great deal to say but I have already edited myself a number of times here tonight....even posted this then deleted it once, but I agree with many of my friends comments on this.........we know what it's like to have someone selfish minded to deal with ....hope nothing like an ostomy or anal leakage happens to YOU dear but if it does I hope you have someone more supportive than yourself at your side.

All these years, my mates issues and woes have always taken priority with me and as a loving caretaker and partner my first and biggest concerns are how my mate is feeling and how he's getting along and what I can do to help him, etc.

You have given us your honesty ......now I'm giving you MINE ...

I hope your soon to be groom runs like Hell........


Reply by Tiggy, on Thu Apr 22, 2010 1:37 pm
I read the OP and had decided about half way through that I probably wasn't going to respond, just because I didn't see a point in squabbling over the internet about something that is so very near and dear to my heart. I figured that all it would serve to do is get me all riled up - and for what? Nothing good would come of it.
However.

Now that I see everyone else found the "guts" (pun intended hehe) to unapologetically give their take on the matter at hand, I figured I'd chime in with my two cents now that I've got a spare moment.

The OP is indeed being extremely shortsighted and thoughtless. I am not saying this to be a bully or be "holier-than-thou", but come on! Give me a break! This is the person whom you "love" enough to marry and, I assume, spend the rest of your life with!? If that's the case, it is certainly no wonder that marriage and relationships in general  have become something of a joke in the Western world.  What part of "in sickness and in health" is not computing here?

I'm not sure why your boyfriend had the surgery to begin with (whether it was colitis, cancer, crohns, etc.) but the point is that as his partner you should be spending most of your time relishing in the fact that he is no longer in the hospital and no longer must suffer with a potentially life threatening affliction. If I were you (and I *have* been you, which is why I take this so incredibly seriously), the LAST thing on my mind would be fretting over the physical technicalities about my husbands undergarmets on our wedding day.

My God.

I hope your boyfriend has a speedy recovery and is out of the diapers soon.

And I hope you are able to get over yourself and grow up.

Good day.
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Wed May 12, 2010 12:09 pm
Hi,
    I was told I had UC in 2007.  Last November my UC started to flare up really bad.  Of course they put me on steroids which did not help.  I ended up getting worse and worse.  January of this year I ended up going to the emergency room thinking my appendix was going to rupture.  I ened up staying for two weeks, having my entire colon removed and given and ilestomy.  Like you stated, I took it very hard.  I remember being taken into the operating room and asking God to just let me die.  How is my husband (who I feel is not very supportive) and my kids going to handle this?  And how am I going to handle looking down and seeing this bag attached to me?  The following weeks I had home health nurses coming into my home to help me and watch me change my bag.  I have had several complications such as severe redness around the stoma, leakage and just about anything you can image.  The end of March I went back into the hospital to have the second surgery in which the J pouch is made so I can get a reversal.  Now I am reading about those who have had to or are wearing a diaper, or the reversal didn't work and they had to go back to wearing a bag.  This is all so overwhelming.  I just feel like sitting and crying, I'm so confused.
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Wed May 12, 2010 12:14 pm
Dana,
     You say you love this man you are about to marry but are worried about him wearing diapers on  your wedding day?  You should be ashamed of yourself.   What if he thought the same of you?  I pray that man will open his eyes and run as far away from you as he can.  You are very, very pathetic to think that way.  Marriage is in sickness and in health.  You have stated it very clear you are not supportive of him.  He does not deserve you.
Reply by beatrice, on Wed May 12, 2010 2:14 pm
Hi Susan,

I hear you! It is very overwhelming at first (and 'first' can be a different length of time for everyone) ... but believe us when we say that it does get better.

Like me (ileo Dec 09) you are still in the early days ... when products may not work, you're on a steep learning curve, you are still recovering , your emotions are all over the place and you're wondering if you'll ever be 'normal' and feel good again.

Take it from me, you will feel good again. There may always be little issues that pop up ... but that is life and they will be things you can handle when you feel better.

Hopefully, your family and friends will be supportive. And look for support outside your immediate circle (we are here to help). Do you have an ET (ostomy) nurse? I found that my ET nurse made all the difference in the world to my recovery and acceptance of my ostomy.

Don't put up with leakages, etc. There are loads of products out there for you to try. Sometimes it gets very tiring having to go and ask for other things, try other things, but it's worth it. Don't know about you ... but I just think of the effort I used to put into finding a great bathing suit or just the right pair of jean (pre-ostomy body) and that alone was a workout .

And it's ok to feel sad and worried. I'm just now feeling somewhat depressed and I'm 5mths post op. But each day above ground is a good day.

You can pm me if you like any time.

Beatrice
Reply by mooza, on Tue Jan 18, 2011 8:08 am
hey I am having that proplems but not in nappys did once in Hosp Never thought i would do that buttt my bum is closed everything gone so i use a pad shits me big time seen my surgeon said PEOPLE WITH CROHN'S DONT HEAL WELL IT NEARLY 3 BLOODY YEARS THOSE EXCERCIZES GOD HOW MANY DO I HAVE TO DO ....MARE  -      MOOZA XXXXX
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