Ostomy Memories of a Con Trail

EVERYONE HAS A FUTURE AHEAD, but it is unknown and unknowable.  What you really have, what the essence of your being really is, life as you know it, is your memory.  “Life is all memory,” said Tennessee Williams, “except for the one present moment that goes by you so quickly you hardly catch it going.”  Memory is a long ride over often difficult terrain.  I tend to think of it as analogous to a con trail in the sky, coming into being at the front end and dissipating slowly at the tail end.  But all of it doesn’t disappear, fortunately.  You do your best to hold onto much of it because, well, it’s you.  The past that you carry in your head is as important as the blood coursing through your veins.  Take away either one, you’re dead.  That’s why Alzheimer’s disease is so horrific.  Brain cell connections and the cells themselves degenerate and die, eventually destroying memory and other important mental functions.  Memory loss and confusion are the main symptoms, and no cure exists.  A person’s sense of personal identity and self-awareness is stripped away.  Novelist Saul Bellow in ‘The Bellarosa Connection’ put it simply:  “Memory is life.”  So if I entertain any of you with these posts about my memories, I’m glad, but I’m really selfishly doing it for myself, the better to hang onto it.

Hello HenryM.

Thank you for yet another insightful perspective upon an important aspect of human ‘life’.
I have always had a poor ‘memory’, but this has been compensated for by an ability to ‘think’, a very useful ability when memory is unreliable.
Therefore, my own perspective would be along the lines of René Descartes’ observation “ I think therefore I am.”
Best wishes
Bill

PS: I knew I had written some rhymes on ‘Thinking About Thinking (= TATing’), but I simply could not remember where I had put them. However, after a day’s searching, I have found two that are relevant, although I still could not find the one I really wanted to post. Such is the way with memory-loss!
Best wishes again
Bill

 

LINKING THINKING.

I think and therefore I am.
The way I think is the way I am.
My future is the way I can.
Our future is the way of man.

'TAT'ing is the way for me.      (Thinking About Thinking)
Opens doors so I may see.
Loosens chains so I am free.
Heals my wounds internally.

                                                   B. Withers 1989
                                                   (in:Evidence 1992)

 

RENE DESCARTES – I’m with you.

I think and therefore I exist
Is a quote that’s hard to resist.
For you’re bound to meet some resistance.
When you’re threatening my existence.

Will I really be told by you.
What to think and what to do.
My response must surely be 
‘I’ will think and think for ‘me’.

At work they may buy my time.
A straightforward trade of mine.
‘If’ you 'think' – I think you’ll find.
Time does not equate with mind.

When you try to say to me.
‘My’ problem’s with authority.
What you do is hide your shame.
Of trying to offload the blame.

‘Certain’ types of authority.
Will see ‘their’ problems lie with me.
But I have no need of shame.
For it’s clear that they’re to blame.

Problems within authorities.
Are ‘dominance’ and hierarchies.
Power corrupts – the saying goes. 
In dominance that corruption shows.

Hierarchies always seem to hire 
Those who wish to hire & fire
Power they have and that they wield.
To have effect, must pierce my shield.

Where there’s power, there will be some.
Who will abuse and use the gun.
To dominate and subordinate.
Indoctrinate and subjugate.

I have no power, nor do I wish.
To gain my strength from this foul dish.
And here I share my reasons why –
It’s ‘BULLY’-beef – not humble pie.

The bullies want to get their way.
By silencing what others say.
Their forceful threats intimidate.
Only if we participate.

With no power or assistance.
I will opt for passive resistance.
Temporarily they may get their way.
But truth will out at end of day.

As I look up from lowly base.
To see the bully’s ugly face.
I console myself with this brief thought.
It may be so – but should not ought.

In my life I’ve mostly found
A safer place on moral mound.
I think, then know, what I value.
Then from afar I pity you.

For when your powers’ all been used
You sit alone, perhaps confused.
Few will be beneath your spell.
And fewer still will wish you well.

But I will still be very proud.
To be just one in that vast crowd.
Of all those people you put down.
Just so you could wear a crown.

I would not even give you tuppence
To see you get your just come-uppance.
For I have never played your games.
Nor share your values or your aims.

Your world of threats and violence.
Simply does not make much sense.
And I could never follow you.
For what you have has no value. 

 

                                                B. Withers 2009
                                  (in: Contemplation 2010)

My version of Descartes would be 'Scribo, ergo sum.'

Nice post, Henry. When I read your topic title, I thought I was going to read about your adventures chasing down crooks and scammers! Instead, you were referring to the vapor trails left by jets! LOL! Contrail is what I'm familiar with, but perhaps there is a reason, too subtle for my brain to grasp, why you wrote it in two words? Or, is it an alternative usage I've just never seen before?

Terry

Nothing sly or subtle.  I just thoughtlessly made it two words.  It's one word, eh?  Thanks for the lesson, prof.

Hello HenryM. 

It's a good point you make, which seems to be a little like the 'which came first' question. 
I too like writing but acknowledge that this activity would not be possible without 'thinking' first.

So perhaps for those of us that put our thinking into writing the statement should read " I think then write, therefore I am. (fulfilled)."

Altering the original concept could get quite complicated for people who lead complex lives!

 

Best wishes

Bill

 

Hey, any time I can help....LOL!