Just for Laughs!

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tarababy

On his first day at a nudist colony, Bob took off his clothes and wandered around. A gorgeous blonde walked past and he immediately got an erection. The woman noticed his erection and said, "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob was puzzled. The woman said, "You must be new here. It's a rule that if I give you an erection, it means you called for me." Smiling, she lay down, pulled him to her, and let him have her.
Happy with the way things were working out, Bob continued exploring and found himself in a sauna. He sat back, rolled onto one cheek, and thundered out a monstrous fart. Within moments, a big hairy bloke with a stiffy lumbered out of the steam and said, "Sir, did you call for me?".
"Certainly not," Bob replied.
"You must be new here," said the bloke. "It's a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The bloke then spun Bob around and gave it to him with great gusto.
Afterward, Bob limped back to reception and handed back his membership card.
"But sir, you've only been here a couple of hours," said the receptionist.
"Listen lady," winced Bob, "I'm 58 years old. I get a hard-on about once a month. I fart 15 times a day!"

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tarababy
HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

1) GOLDEN RETRIEVER; "The sun is shining,the day is young,we've got our whole lives ahead of us and your inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?"............

2) BORDER COLLIE; "JUST ONE.And then I'll replace any wiring thats not up to code."................

3) DACHSHUND; " You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!"....

4) ROTTWEILER; "Make me!".........

5) BOXER; "Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark"..........

6) LABRADOR; " Oh me,me!!!!.Pleeeezze let me change the light bulb!Can I? Can I? Huh?huh?huh?Can I? Pleeeeeeeze,please,please,please!?".......................

7) GERMAN SHEPHERD; "I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark,check to make sure I haven't missed any...and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation"............

JACK RUSSEL; "I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture!"............

9) OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG; "Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb"............

10) COCKER SPANIEL; "Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.".................

11) CHIHUAHUA; "Yo quiero taco bulb!.Or we dont need no stinking light bulb.".................

12) GREYHOUND; "It isnt moving,who cares?!"...........

13) AUSTRALIAN BLUE HEELER; "First,I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.....!".......................

14) POODLE; "I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it.By the time he finishes rewiring the house,my nails will be dry.".........

;CATS.....................
HOW MANY CATS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
CATS; "Cats do not change light bulbs,people change light bulbs.How long will it be before I can expect some light,some dinner and a massage???????"....................................
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lottagelady

You got it, Tara. That's just how it is in my house - two dogs and two cats, and the cats rule! xx
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