Meet & talk to fellow OstoMates Support | Friendship | Relationships

Gets in the way!

Past Member
Sat Oct 25, 2008 6:55 am
This is a great community. Consider joining.
live_love_laugh wrote:
everytime I get close to a man and finally get the courage to tell him, he suddenly disappears?

well you might try tieing them up first or handcuffing them to something really heavy{the bumper of your car maybe}!! Wink
well maybe we better go with tara`s idea first. Very Happy
These are the top 5 issues ostomates face:

1. Dating and relationships
2. Concealing the pouch
3. Foods to eat and avoid
4. Losing or gaining weight
5. Pouch ballooning

Check out this video from MeetAnOstoMate.
Thu Oct 30, 2008 12:39 am

This is a very helpful website and another good one is : my heart ties

I wish these had been available to me 18 years ago when I first had my ileostomy surgery.  My husband was very understanding and loving, but these new things would have helped raise my self esteem and confidence. I buy colorful cloth from walmart to make pouch covers with, they are made of cotton and I stay cool "downunder". I had to use my imagination  and it turned out to be somewhat fun too! Like Tara says, it does get better and better, dont give up!

I hope this helps you guys and gals.   Cool  Very Happy
Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:30 am
Its all the Messy stuff at the end of Sex , I dont like!!  You know like getting your wallet out & paying   !!! LOL Twisted Evil
Sun Nov 02, 2008 5:05 am
Awe , gee Walter you left that one wide open.. Thought being married AND/OR paying for it were the same things/came with the deal....lmao...Ah not saying all,  but gee, what I have seen at times, you could be forgiven if you thought it anything more than a paying job....ok later... Cool ...
Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:22 am
Very Happy tara i will have to see your little shower cap great idea darl but should i go to there place after a night out should i take one wif me lol talk to u later and please please show me cheers darz Cool  and guys lie down let us do the work we know what we want hahahah Twisted Evil  Twisted Evil  Twisted Evil  Twisted Evil
Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:46 pm
Hey there girl, well you can take a peek at this idea now...Took some pics and put them in the photo album on here...not the best quality, but will have to do....hope you can see them ok.such a simple idea, but a life-saver to boot.And not a worry in the world to carry one with you.I have one in each room of my home.lmao....and one in each handbag...well you just never know hey.....and they say the one you miss out on is the one you will never get back....oh damn, now I'm getting the picture Sad  Let me know what you think...thanks... Cool
Past Member
Mon Nov 24, 2008 11:55 pm
Long time illeostomer, first time poster:
Hi everyone. I just wanted to comment on the swimming/spa/hot bath topic, and maybe throw my two cents in about the sex thing.

I swim every single day in the summer (which is no exageration, although summer doesn't last very long here in North Bay, Ontario CA Crying or Very sad ) with absolutely no side-effects on my bag. I wear Coloplasts 12455, which is termed extended-wear for my illeostomy. The bag dries shortly after, or right away if I take the time to towel it off, which I normally don't have opportunity to do. I also wear a normal one peice bathing suit, in black, and find I don't have any issues. I even had a family friend comment after a day of family fun at the beach, "I don't want to say the wrong thing here, but I had to ask your Dad which side the bag was on. I couldn't see it at all!"
I'm also have a great fondness for hot baths, especially when I am having a bout of pain, and can soak for almost an hour before I get bored. Again, no side effects.  Razz  I can keep that bag going for 4-5 days if I keep an good eye on it, no matter if I've been swimming or bathing, etc.

Lastly, I've found that a nice little peice of lingerie is all I need to keep that bag out of the show, and make me feel like the vixen I am. I own a few peices that come down to mid thigh, like little dresses, or I throw a sexy little cami on that comes down just far enough to cover. The only thing then, is the crinkly noises, but my mate is much too busy and happy to notice.  Shocked  Unfortunately, I've broken up with my mate, in June, so Lori is looking for a man who has a bag of his own. Life would be so much easier to have someone in the same place as me.

Anyway, I hope I've added something beneficial to the forum! And I look forward to getting to know everyone here! Drop me a line, and wishes of health to all of you! Wink

Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:30 am
Hello all.
I wanted to let you know after a long recovery I have finished my website showing the ostomyshell I designed after my ostomy.
I made my first one by hand and put my pre ostomy lingerie over it and I almost felt like before the body disfigurement.  yeah.
I decided I wanted everyone who had struggled as much as I had should have more to choose from and I set to a slow but constant project.
almost 3 yrs later it's ready.
Check it out.
Wishing you all love peace and happiness. a full life with confidence
Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:40 pm
Hello, I found the next best thing to being naked.  It's called "Wear Close".  This is Intimate & Active Ostomy Apparel.  I purchase it online from and works great.  I really like it.  I hope you like it too.
Sun Jan 18, 2009 2:59 am
Past Member
Tue Jan 20, 2009 5:24 pm
I just posted a reply but it didnt work, so I'll try again.
Are you male or female? At what stage do you go running?
I hope that you dont mind me asking these questions.
I was married when i had my op and am single now. Since being single I have had my moments but not having any now. i have struggled with body image but its not stopped me when the time comes. I have problems in meeting anyone.
I have found something to wear at times like this and will post details maybe tomorrow as i cant at the moment.
Thu Jan 22, 2009 12:53 am
I think having sex is hard especially for singles who have never had sex before their ostomy and/or its the first time after surgery.
There is just so much stress on the person, I think thats what makes people freak out once the 'nasty' is about to happen Razz

On a brighter note:
What things have you found about sex that you like now after surgery?

Any tricks to the trade?

I know dancing with a person isn't sex but it can be pretty 'intimate', being so close to another person's body. I try to make sure before I go out that night to not eat anything I know will pass quickly. Because I'm going to be drinking water to stay hydrated from 3 hours of either clubbing or swing/charleston dancing. I have felt so much more comfortable also wearing those 'boyshort' undies and wearing the bag to the side. Its less noticable under my skin fitting clothing.
Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:58 pm
Hi All,
I also am wearing those knickers that are close fitting in the 'shorts' style, really comfortable.  My mother saw them drying on my line in the summer and thought I was doing washing for a secret man   Very Happy
I had my confidence shattered when I had my surgery December 2006, my husband left me so I came home to an empty house.  Self esteem at it's lowest!
I had a very close friend of several years (male).  He has given me the confidence I neded, paid me compliments and after several months of building my strength up and getting out and about again, we sat down and had a conversation about how we felt about eachother.  Well....the inevitable happened and I was on top of the world.  Of course I am to this day concious about the bag, especially when it starts making 'raspberry' sounds because I'm being energetic!   lol
We have found that spooning is the best or doggy....haha   I have never used anything to strap the thing close to me, but wear quite a small bag any way.  Got a few other positions together now....I'm too shy to explain, you get the picture Laughing
Everyone take care and keep loving
Michelle xxx
Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:34 pm
HI folks, mmm...doggie... Very Happy .. My I like the woman on top, helps keep the legs and ass-cheeks firm..Hell any sex is the best exercise you can get...AND...  the Best subject ever.So why am I missing out? Oh thats right, my guy is not here...Anyway, I like any position as long as I'm involved.Don't think I'll go back on the swingers scene again...even though it was a blast.hehehehehe.Ok maybe a bit too much info. Cya's   Cool
Past Member
Sun Feb 01, 2009 7:34 am
tarababy wrote:
mmm...doggie... Very Happy

tried that, dog didnt really care for it and tries to bite me now when i walk by....... seriously now.... what is "spooning"??? it sounds so naughty.... and makes me a little hungry too!!

this talk  remindes me of a joke... do you know how they practice
"safe sex" in new zeland??? they mark an X on the sheep that kick Twisted Evil
Past Member
Sun Feb 01, 2009 1:31 pm
Just Give Me minute !  Have to get up off the floor,OK then  Rolling Eyes That was great  Shocked   Mild manner  May I please use this one Cool  And tarra I have to go with you on that thought too ! We should start a thread on dreamland.4 us.

       Hi All !Heard similar But its how it was Delivered that makes :twisted:will finish later.


Last edited by Past Member on Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:59 am; edited 1 time in total
Past Member
Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:59 pm
bostomy wrote:
Shocked   Mild manner  My I please use this one Cool  

sure tom, go ahead Very Happy
Mon Feb 02, 2009 6:38 pm
Has nobody answered this guy?   Spooning is where the guy is right behind the woman holding her close  Wink
Best part about it is that you're layed on your side so arms and legs don't get tired and you can go at it for as long as it takes, lol
Give it a try folks, it's even safe to leave the light on too  Embarassed  Very Happy

Michelle x
Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:45 pm
Thanks curly...was trying to find this post for 2 days... Rolling Eyes ..Never said I was clever....anyway G, I'm shocked...A man of the world like yourself and you have to ask what spooning is?!!Could have blown me over with a whistle.Spooning is the best postion for a lot of things...Great way to fall asleep too.....And you need to know if your the big spoon(the one behind the other) or the little spoon(the one being spooned)But if your planning to do more than just spoon and go to sleep, beta make sure the big spoon is the one with the extention cord and not the plug ok.. Shocked ....otherwise there will be some shovelling going on....hehehe..I like to swap that roll....big spoon one night, little spoon the next....and this is to go to sleep with,  Wink ,  i know where your mind was going then.(i'm only capable of being the little,the reciever not the giver.) ....Well, if I dont go now, I'm going to need that shovel to dig myself out of this one....later mwah!!!! Cool
Past Member
Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:39 am
thank you ladies for the explaination, i have never heard that term before.
i must say i am a bit disappointed, was hopeing ice cream or something simular  requiring a "spoon" was involved. if you ladies could combine food and sex.... well us men wouldnt have a chance{do we anyhow??}
hey, that reminds me... never fry bacon naked.... dont ask how i know this!! Embarassed
come on guys, back me up here....... would there be anything more sexy than a beautiful naked woman covered in bacon????   Idea  Idea
Past Member
Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:22 am
Hi All:

   Hay G ,Tara and curly pussycat all that spooning does get the apatite a little worked up.and bacon sounds inviting  Wish I had some. mr G have you ever had canadian back bacon this to would be good with a spoon. So when you ladies talk about spooning is that like mooning.i would enjoy that ! Oh that's just sick.As for the spooning is this spoon a teaspoon or a tablespoon. Man I am getting hungry I have also heard of knifing's   mostly in the big city's. Have any of you ladies tried some forking before cause this sounds good too ,You ladies just like treating us men like a blood utensil, and we have feelings too you know.and for the big jobs you could use a shovel that would be just so weird. hopefully I have helped you mild manner,and thats what us men do "stike together" type of guys. sort of thing

Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:41 pm
Mmmm, ok then this conversation could get fun.As far as the bacon goes...well you guys can have that.I see way too much of it at work,and if its not crispy,I wont eat it..Yeah, yeah, I know I'm going off-track here.Someone better or it's going to get to R-rated..Not that I would mind,anyway food and sex.. what a great conversation.Should we even go there?Oh hell why not.Honey-whipped cream-Maltesers....thats all I'm saying.. Cool
Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:00 pm
Well, I'm not so sure about beautiful naked women covered in bacon!   lol,  As a vegetarian I much prefer something sweet, makes the whole event one big dessert.....
Anyway, that's a great ice breaker too don't you think?    Least if the two of you (presuming there are only two) are having a giggle with food making a mess and stuff, the whole subject of the 'something extra' we are wearing, pales into significance.
After all, the subject here is  how to cope with it 'getting in the way' .  I think I've resurrected the original posting and got it back on track..... lol

Keep Loving
Michelle x
Past Member
Fri Feb 06, 2009 7:07 pm
did we drift off topic???    anyhow i`m not a vegitarian i`m a sagittarius!!! lol just teaseing you . anyhow the discussion dont really get good sometimes till you drift just a bit.
tom, sorry but just american bacon for me... although i`m sure your canadian stuff is good too. i take my bacon crispy too miss T.
Sat Feb 07, 2009 2:14 am
Hi guys,Michelle, and thanks by the way, we did go off track a little, but as G says, it can be fun for a little while...Plus, cant all these things just about help cover-up what we are all trying to hide anyway? know a couple of slices of bacon would cover mine... and an egg on each...umm!...yeah ok , well might be a tad hot,so think I might stick with you Michelle on the sweets instead.Bostomy,sorry cant comment on american bacon,never had it.I do know you guys love bacon with pancakes that are smothered in maple syrup...Hey there ya go!! can kill two birds with the one stone ..Bacon for.....Pancakes for....  oh never mind.....Next!!!!!!!!!!!
Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:55 am
I just use a wide bandage fold up the bottom and put bandage around.
Seems to work well had no problems at all .....
Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:46 am
Hey , fairly new to the site.  I too love beautiful women and bacon...err...I mean. I always use the marshmallow and tape method for the whole sex scenario. marshmallows will slow the output down pretty well, and I tuck up like most have mentioned. I put tape on the the pouch, then another piece of tape as a fastener, so the first piece keeps you from ripping pouch or pouch cover once it is removed and you are spooning and eating bacon.
Tue Mar 03, 2009 12:42 am
Well done, you got most things to happen all in the one round..shame the dessert comes before the ya way of thinking..I find also if the job gets done right, half hour later I'm out looking to eat a cow I'm so hungry....
Tue Mar 31, 2009 5:36 pm
a was paranoid at first but now its a big part of my life a dont care a just let it flap about lol
Wed Apr 08, 2009 9:59 am
Hi guys, Iam new here, with some imput,
for those intimate moments check out
she has great cover-ups for both male and female.
She's a 3 time cancer survivor  and a double ostomate.

Just thought I'd pass this tid bit of info along.
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