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We Are The Different

Posted by rusty1058
Hi mates, haven't been on site for a few years.. I walked into the grocery store today and looked around at the people doing their shopping, cringing at the prices, checking their lists, just doing the routine they do to live.  I wonder how many individuals I walked past who have a bag like me .????? How many have gone thru the surgeries, and pain ,and if they feel different from others. We don't have a sign on our foreheads , or tattoos that BRAND what we are. Till someone sees you unclothed,,,,,,your safe,,we feel shame to show a normal person what has been done to our bodies. Somehow we are a little less whole.I would love to hear from other "Mates" who may feel the same way. Thank you

See all blogs by rusty1058
Nov 18, 2022 4:16 AM
NancyCat : Hiya Rusty: I must say that that is something that I've never thought about. I'm just happy to be alive~ I don't feel any shame in my ostomy, as I feel like I'm so lucky to have it. Don't ever feel that you are less than "whole"-you are amazing and we are all warriors!
Nov 18, 2022 10:08 AM
HenryM : I feel neither "shame" nor "less whole" because of my ileostomy. 99% of the people that I deal with have no idea that I have it, and anyone who discovered it and reacted negatively wouldn't matter to me anyway.
Nov 18, 2022 10:30 AM
StPetie : Hi Rusty. Personally, I have zero shame about my stoma. I didn't choose to have it. It was something my body just gave me. Just as it gave me green eyes. If someone has a problem with my green eyes or my stoma, it's their issue and has very little to do with me. I don't make a point of telling people about it but if something relevant comes up in conversation I'll mention it. If someone wants to see it (rare but has happened) I have no problem showing it to them. If showing it creates an issue, it's theirs. So far it hasn't, though. For whatever it's worth, that's my personal thought process. I get that it may not work for everyone but it works well for me. I hope some part of it works for you too. Good luck.
Nov 18, 2022 2:07 PM
Mayoman : One time while going through security at San Francisco Airport on a 12/ 14 hour flight to Ireland the security/ TSA guy was being an A**hole . Usually I wipe my hand over the exterior clothes , they wipe a swab cloth over my hand , stick the swab in the scanner and off I go . ..usually . This smartass brought me to a room for a search ( using me for training purposes and wasting everyone's time ) . He went off and left me "supervised"....by another guy . I unzipped and dropped my drawers , lifted up my shirt and told him " this is an Ostomy , do you get it now , do you know what this is ?? Well if you didn't you do now , this is how I shit these days ,I can open it if you don't mind the stinky smell ??" He turned Bright red and didn't know where to look , he was so embarrassed he was shuffling his feet and wanted to get out of there . No...nooo need to see it "aaaa...aaaa..he was speechless . The other guy knew what it was and was disrupting my day and being a P***k . I finally leave the room when the other guy comes back . My carry on and backpack were empty and the contents strewn on a table in the public area , my change of clothes , extra supplies dumped and the guy says , you can go now . Fifteen minutes to repack all my stuff . When they stop you for any reason they can add an hour to your security check . They should have been ashamed of their behaviour , not me . This was a few years ago , never had a problem since . Now I go to the beach with my Baggy blowing in the wind , no shirt or shame and any funny looks get an extra close up view of my Bag . Nobody seems to notice it or care in Ireland or in California . Be proud of you scars and your new " Plastic Colon " ...you have paid your dues in pain and suffering to stay alive . Your Baggie is a Badge of Courage , wear it proudly , wear it Openly at the beach etc...Familiarity breeds acceptance and understanding !! I would bet that the TSA guy will not abuse his authority like that again ...maybe ?? Some people are just too Dense to learn but most are cool . PS: Never argue with TSA Agent , a pointless exercise , in that security line that person has the authority/ ability to ruin your whole day so always be polite ...or you will end up missing your flight. Security is much easier now , they have proper training to deal with medical issues . Don't be afraid to fly ....except for the Tiny seats all is good !!! Magoo ??????
Nov 18, 2022 4:08 PM
delgrl525 : Hi Rusty and welcome back to the site. I too feel no shame due to my ostomy, in fact I feel that I'm rather 'special'. I try to look at the positives, and there are many. The first one is that I'm alive and living a life that is better than the one I had pre-ostomy. I am not in constant pain and discomfort. I am the one in charge of my life, not my bowels, which used to be the case. I am not ashamed of my little pouch. It doesn't prevent me from doing anything I want in life. Many people in my life know about my condition and don't even give it a second thought. Then there are the added bonuses, like having the cleanest bum of anyone I know! Cheers, Terry
Nov 18, 2022 5:39 PM
bowsprit : The chances are that the only bag those shoppers carried was the one they put their groceries in, but there is no shame attached if some of us carry an additional one. The pain and the suffering shows in the eyes, they don't call them the windows to your soul for nothing.
Nov 18, 2022 10:53 PM
rusty1058 : Thank you everybody ????????I appreciate the love ????. Happy thanksgiving
Dec 04, 2022 9:18 PM
Charlyne : I'm new mine is 5 months old. And no I would not have requested it but my colostomy saved my life and I try to stay really organized with supplies and eat well. A few friends know. Most people don't. But if asked I would say God blessed me with a medical procedure and great doctors. I can still love life, hug my grandchildren and son and play with my kitties and my 4 legged soul mate! Life is precious and good. Not so long ago we would not have had the medical option of a colon replacement. Good luck and count it as a blessing.