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The Truth, My Truth

Posted by Angelicamarie

I like to blog because it's your own feelings, your own truth and thoughts. I don't like asking ostamates, " so whats your story?" Some ostamates are scared to death as it is, When and if they are ready they will share. Since being on this site, I've heard people say, " I'm not afraid to die! " I don't blog about death, We rec'd our surgery to live, not die. When I shared with you that I had not been intimate with my spouse for 2 years, that was me keeping it real with you, my ostamate family.  We tried but it was so painful, I truly believe my body was in shock ! It was so painful I didn't want to indulge anymore.  So u see it was not my husband fault, it was mostly me.

Psychologically, in order for me to except my new self . In the beginning, I named my stoma after an old enemy of mine because in my head a friend wouldn't do this! I had a parting ceremony for my old enemy and renamed my stoma . I didn't want to be touched. When you feel so bad about yourself the vibes branch out to others. Was my spouse horrible,  of course not. We marry one or another not knowing that down the road all the different challenges that you will face or different things that  are going to happen. Once we find our ostamate family, we cry out about how terrible our mates are. Listen this was a two party connection. What about you ostamate, were you perfect?

I blog to take you to two different subjects. One, to give you something else to think about and if I touched at least one person, I've  accomplished something. My nature is kindness , my heart is full of love for others. I'm even more compassionate since my surgery. There is no entertainment for me with your sadness, I try to keep it moving. That's a saying that my friends and others say all the time.

It's much easier to  tell a person that they have offended you individually or in person rather than in a group setting. That's what makes the ostamates the same as non ostamates. I don't have time for that. First of all, I'm too old for that nonsense. I must keep it moving!  In case you didn't know, there are people on this site who use their precious time and energy trolling for mistakes and checking to see if you are using others blogs, you know plagerism. Wow, that make me feel really important or special when others go out of their way to prove that I am copying someone else style. That energy could or should best be spent blogging about something new and fresh to help each others . For those of you who took my hand  and provided me with helpful guidance and ideas when I first found this site. Such as assisting me in irrigation procedures. Oh how I thank you and never will forget you. You all know who your are, you are my stars! 

I thank my mom who taught me to be kind to those who were kind to me. Just think, had she not taught me that, I would have missed a lot of good people. I am not basing my opinion on someone's race, creed, religion, sex or the color of their skin. On this site there are some that I've never had the priveledge of meeting but I feel as if they are family. I sincerely and truly thank them. Lastly, when I first cut off my hair, it was an experiment. Now I wouldn't change a thing. I have no regret about my decision.  I'm still angelicamarie, the same ole Gal No one can be me but me. Who be you!

The Genuine Article,

Angelicamarie

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Comments:
Primeboy : Hi Angelicamarie. I applaud you for sharing very sensitive feelings and very private experiences with your spouse and inviting us to respond as we see fit. Our surgical experiences have certainly altered how we approach our spouses or significant others, leaving us with doubt and uncertainty of constancy. My wife had a breast removed around the same time I had my colon removed. She was going around the upstairs with one breast hanging out and I was parading around with a leaky bag. Somehow we saw each other differently. She was more beautiful than ever given her courageous attitude while I was beyond silly in my bag management protocols. Botton line: we knew we were exentually going to make it because the absurd became for us a daily experience.
Primeboy : Yes, underneath all these initial-marital escapades are all sorts of issues and topics never openly discussed when everything is going well. The stoma enters the family as an unwelcome guest. It takes it place with out getting permission and can take over everything. The proper response is to maintain perspective and to keep it below stairs as just another hurdle to jump over at the right time. Calls for courage, discrenment, and bluster abound. Life goes on!
Primeboy : While waiting to make sense of all of this, go see Marshall McCullen's "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" on your local library's collection. Nice job Angel, bring all this to our attention.
PB
Angelicamarie : G'morning Primeboy, thanks for responding to The truth my truth. Thanks so much for your comments some being personal and yet very loving. The unwanted brought you closer than apart,, which was great because that don't always happen, and your so right we don't discuss these things prior to it breaking into our lives but love can conquer, it did for you!!! Thanks John angelicamarie
Bill : Hello Angelicamarie.
Thank you for another great and interesting post. I never doubted that you were 'the genuine article' and I'm sure anyone who has followed your posts will have realised that as well. Having been married for 50years, we are both too old and too staid in our ways for any nonsense to stand between us and our enjoyment of life. Things like stomas and other conditions are part of the natural cycle of life and if we don't find a way to manage and move on, then we tend to get stuck in the problems rather than resolving them.
By the way, I do like the new, minimalist hairstyle as it highlights the underlying beauty even more.

Best wishes
Bill
Angelicamarie : G'morning Bill, thanks for responding to The truth my truth. Your comments were appreciated as love held youll together, as you said if you allowed that to come between you, you would in fact be stuck batteling something that you didn't do. Lastly thank u so much for the gracious compliment!! Thanks Bill angelicamarie
petunia : I am sure most of you people have this problem. What can be done or is there anything you
can take to stop the noises that our stoma makes after eating. It is so embarrassing.
Please respond as I need to find an answer to this. Thank you
Angelicamarie : I responded to you about that already!!! Have a good evening petunia!!! Angelimarie
Willow59 : Hugs you are a beautiful person.
Angelicamarie : G'evening willow, that is such a kind thing to say I thank you, have a great evening! Angelicamarie
Bill : Hello Angelicamarie.
I am revisiting your post because the concept of 'the truth- my truth' is so pertinent to much of how we live and perceive ourselves and our lives. Your sentiments have prompted me to resurrect a book that I've been compiling for many years- with a working title of 'Making Sense'. The manuscript is already a tome but your post has enthused me to think about at least writing another chapter, if not bringing it together for publication.
I just thought you ought to know how inspiring your posts are.
Best wishes
Bill
Angelicamarie : Bill, thanks for yor comments,I'm speechless! My thoughts are always hopefully I will help someone. It's a great compliment that I inspired such a good writer like yourself . Good luck to you and Have a wonderful day! angelicamarie

iMacG5 : Hey Angelicamarie and Bill, you both mentioned “inspiration” and I just wrote to Walk6076 and Akail about that. There are so many profound thoughts exchanged here and I’m so inspired by the entire effort. I think it often takes character and integrity to tell the truth. I also think the truth can be hurtful at times and we need to practice discretion. Not with ourselves, of course. I think it’s important to face the truth about who we are and do whatever to meet the requirement, whatever that is. Thanks Angel for this blog. Thanks to you and all the kind, empathic, compassionate folks for sharing your wisdom. Sincerely, Mike
Angelicamarie : Hey mike, they say the truth will set you free. Thanks so much for your comments! Angelicamarie