Ostomy And Intimacy

An ostomy is a surgical procedure that creates an opening in the body for the elimination of waste material when a person's normal bowel or bladder function is compromised due to a medical condition. People who undergo an ostomy procedure may experience physical and emotional changes that can impact their intimacy and sexual relationships.

Physical changes related to ostomy can include the presence of a stoma (an opening in the abdomen where waste material exits the body), the need to wear an ostomy bag or pouch, and changes in body image due to scarring or other visible changes. These physical changes can make people feel self-conscious and affect their comfort level with intimacy.

Emotional changes can include anxiety, fear, and uncertainty about how an ostomy will impact their relationships and sexual function. These feelings can make it difficult to communicate with partners about their needs and desires, which can further complicate intimacy.

However, it's important to note that having an ostomy doesn't have to mean the end of intimacy or a fulfilling sex life. There are many strategies that can help people with ostomies feel more comfortable and confident in intimate situations, including:

1. Education: Learning about the ostomy and the changes it may bring can help people feel more comfortable discussing their needs with their partners and exploring new ways of intimacy.
2. Communication: Open and honest communication with partners is crucial in maintaining intimacy and sexual function. It's important to discuss any concerns or fears and work together to find solutions.
3. Experimentation: Trying new positions or sexual activities can help people with ostomies find what works best for them and their partner.
4. Support: Seeking support from healthcare professionals, support groups, or counseling can help people manage the emotional impact of an ostomy and develop coping strategies.
5. Preparation: Planning ahead for intimate situations, such as ensuring the ostomy bag is securely in place and comfortable, can help people feel more relaxed and confident.

In addition to the strategies mentioned earlier, there are also some specific tips and techniques that people with ostomies can use to help manage intimacy:

1. Timing: Emptying the ostomy bag before engaging in intimate activities can help people feel more comfortable and confident.
2. Clothing: Choosing clothing that is comfortable and conceals the ostomy bag, such as high-waisted pants or a loose-fitting shirt, can help people feel more at ease during intimate situations.
3. Lubrication: Using a water-based lubricant can help reduce friction and discomfort during sexual activities.
4. Positioning: Experimenting with different positions that are comfortable and don't put pressure on the ostomy can help people find what works best for them.
5. Confidence: Building confidence and self-esteem can be an important part of feeling comfortable with intimacy. This may involve working with a counselor or participating in a support group.

Based on discussions from the MeetAnOstoMate Discussion Forum, here is a summary of advice and insights on ostomy and intimacy:

1. Be open and honest about having an ostomy with potential partners.
2. Use wraps, lingerie, or pouch covers to keep the ostomy out of the way during intimacy.
3. Communication and understanding are crucial in relationships with another ostomate.
4. Confidence and a positive attitude are important in navigating intimacy with an ostomy.
5. Seek support and connection with others who have similar experiences.
6. Consider using sexy lingerie, pouch covers, or custom-made covers to enhance intimacy and divert attention from the ostomy.
7. Embrace the ostomy as a gift and focus on mental and emotional intimacy before physical intimacy.
8. Seek professional help or counseling to navigate the emotional and physical effects of the surgery and the changes in the relationship.
9. Consider using products like underwear and lingerie for ostomates, cap systems, or pouches that can be attached higher to make the ostomy seem smaller to feel more comfortable during intimacy.
10. Be upfront about your ostomy when getting to know someone, and if they stay, it's a sign of a potential meaningful relationship.

Check out these links for more information:

• Intimacy with Two Ostomates: Seeking Advice (August 21, 2017)
• Managing Intimacy with an Ostomy: Tips and Tricks for Privacy (September 29, 2020)
• Ostomy and Intimacy: Debunking Misconceptions (October 16, 2012)
• Intimate Sex with Ostomy: How is it Possible? (January 21, 2020)
• Navigating Intimacy with an Ostomy: Tips and Experiences (May 04, 2015)
• Boosting Intimacy with an Ileostomy: Share Your Secrets! (January 17, 2010)
• Navigating Love and Intimacy with an Ileostomy (February 21, 2023)
• Romance after Ostomy: How to Share My Story? (August 15, 2009)
• Struggling with Body Image and Intimacy After Ostomy (November 11, 2016)
• Seeking Advice: Partner's Ostomy affecting Intimacy (June 09, 2018)