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IT'S GOOD TO TALK

Posted by Bill

IT’S GOOD TO TALK.

Whilst I was at work today.
I met a man along the way.
He did so want to talk to me.
And tell me of his ostomy.

Because this man is wheelchair bound.
Few proper listeners can be found.
Most people do not have the time.
To focus on this paradigm.

Most people do not understand.
The problems faced in ostoland.
So I spent some time with him.
Listening to his story grim.

Once he knew I was all ears.
He told me of his hopes and fears.
He found it easy to explain.
Physical and emotional pain.

He talked and talked and did not stop.
He told of illness and his op.
He needed someone to be there.
He needed someone who would care.

He needed to offload and rant.
And used me as his confidant.
I understood his plight you see.
For I too have an ostomy.

As we shared what we’d been through.
I felt a spark of friendship grew.
Those who experience first hand.
Are best placed to understand.

We all need someone to talk to.
That is for me as well as you.
It’s good to talk as we well know.
To rant and rave and let it show.

It empties out the negatives.
Making room for positives.
It clears the crap from deep within.
Replaces frowns with knowing grin.

It’s good to talk to other folk.
To hug and chat and tell a joke.
Talking helps to purge the soul.
Helps to heal and make us whole.

I’m glad I stopped to talk today.
Listening to what this man did say.
I’m also pleased to spend some time.
To put my sentiments in Rhyme.

                                                B. Withers 2011

 

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Comments:
ambies : Have to say Bill i really enjoyed that one,and can relate in every possiable way.. Yes its good to talk.. ty..ambies... Nov 01, 2011
nogutz : Talking and Reading both great gifts.thank for share this Bill.nogutz Nov 01, 2011
nogutz : Thanks for sharing this bill......lol Nov 01, 2011
tess45 : nice one Bill - talking as always helped me and and the people on this site have not only talked to me but also educated me and made me laugh about the day to day that we live - thanks very much one and all Nov 02, 2011
Past Member: I have Dercums disease. I look fine. I am frequently told how well I look. There is almost no visual evidence. And in my living situation it isn't okay to talk about how I feel. I am grateful for my email friends and this site where I can talk - complain - rant ... where I can TALK and say how bad it is. Really bad today. Thanks to all of you. Nov 02, 2011
Bill : Hello Everyone,Thanks for the posts. I too enjoy talking and there are not many opportunities for me to actually contribute in a reciprocal manner to the conversation. I'm with Tess and Dawneagle in appreciation of this site. It is a place where we can share our conversation in that too and fro manner rather than the rather one-sided 'listening' mode I usually adopt. Dawneagle: I have looked up Dercums disease - having never heard of it before. It doesn't sound very pleasant at all and it's certainly something you could well do without. There were some very 'educational' posts from people who have the disease and it sounds as if they too have a web- support system. I know that the administrators on this site don't like us posting email addresses etc but I hope they allow this blog address as it sounds as if it might be useful. http://dercumslinks.blogspot.com/ Very best wishes Bill. Nov 03, 2011
Bill : Hello again,My last post was suggesting a link to discover durcums disease. When I entered it I found it a bit cumbersome to find out what I wanted to know. Eventually I found another site that gave me much more information in a format that I can cope with better. http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1082083-clinical I hope you find it as helpful as I did.Best wishesBill Nov 03, 2011
Past Member: Bill, thanks for actually looking it up. Few doctors know about it. Like people wtih stomas, I often feel isolated. The second mail suggestion is one I am familiar with. I just put together a note to someone using the info. I will try the other site - I would love to find the kind of support I get here. It is a difficult disease. Some bad days lately. A couple of really good ones also. Nov 03, 2011
Bill : Hello Dawneagle,In surfing around I found that durcums awareness on facewbook has a 'wall' where people are talking to each other about their condition. Try http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=27221609648v=wall. The same sort of discussion 'wall' is on Durcums disease - facebook http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wallviewas=0gid=6027674868Both thesxe 'walls' seem to have people on them who want to share their experiences of the disease. I hope you find a suitable outlet to talk about Durcum's soon.Best wishesBill. Nov 03, 2011
Past Member: Bill, I did find a Dercums group - not as good as this one. One difference I find with Dercums is there seems to be no options - just progressive disability. A similarity is that interested doctors are few to none - no treatment - no options. Still looking - like you as a counselor - there are always options and always further education. Talking - saying it OUTLOUD - would be important for me. Nov 03, 2011
Past Member: One more tidbit.... sort of a joke. Good news is that it won't kill me. Bad news is that it won't kill me. Just makes me wish I were dead. Nov 03, 2011
Past Member: Oh Bless you Dawneagle, Like Bill I went to see what Dercums was exactly. I hadn't realised it was progressive though. I know how you feel at times about wishing for it to be all over......I went through a long period of the same in Intensive Care as I really couldn't face up to what was happening to me. Thankfully now I feel considerably much more positive and want to make the best of my time.....on the good and bad days. I can only offer a friendly ear to listen as you and lots of others here have been for me. Just remember what you posted earlier about saying it outloud......sharing can do so much to help reduce the anxiety. Take good care, Colm Nov 03, 2011
Past Member: I am feeling a bit sorry for myself. My pity pot is gettin too comfortable. Dercums had been a 35 year slowly progressive journey and I am tired. It is difficult to move. My colostomy has been a small pebble in the road comparatively. I gave up my RV a few months ago. I took a short trip last weekend and realized I should not be driving any longer - that was probably my last trip. I like to travel alone. I am pretty much house-bound now - after a lifetime of travel. I do a lot of things from my bed that give me joy but I miss being out there. I have a good friend in another state that is a support and a others. But I really feel sorry for myself on these bad days - still recovering from my short trip. My only relief is out of body work - I call it floating. Bill, Dandare, and many others.... I am so glad you are all out there in my email world as part of this beautiful support system - a life-line. It has been a help and I hope I have been able to support others also. This will again cycle back into something not so bad. There are still things I will return to doing. PPS - I really like that others research things like I do. I am thankful for the computer - maybe more than anything. I love learning new things. I can explore any and everything through my little Eee sitting on my belly as I journey around the world through all knowledge. Everything is at my fingertips. My eyes and my finger take me everywhere - thanks for reminding me of that. Nov 03, 2011
Bill : Hello Dawneagle,Thank you so much for your post. I do so understand that feeling of getting 'tired'. It's sometimes difficult for me to distinguish between the chronicity of the physical conditions and the effects of simple, staightforward old-age. You and I have obviously got some things in common. Ever since I can remember I have always been able to find an 'escape' route from the physical and emotional traumas of life by using out of body techniques and experiences. What you call 'floating' I call 'dreaming' or 'drifting off'. I used to get into trouble at school when teachers asked me if I was still with them and I would reply 'NO! I was so often somewhere completely different or standing away from my body observing what they percieved as 'reality' from a safe distance. I have travelled extensively in 'real' life but I never liked the journeys,the waiting, the queuing, the customs controls, the in-conveniences and the wasted time. Those 'real' experiences were never comparable to those journeys I have travelled in my mind. I usually get to my destinations in a split-second and wallow in the pleasantnesses to be had. Very little ever goes wrong and I meet some of the most interesting and pleasant people there are on earth. This is of course a 'fantasy' world, a world comparable to cyber-space but without the violence. Fortunately, I am well practiced at navigating my own mind-space so I can get the most out of my parallel universe. There are no illnesses, conditions, obstacles, problems or situations that cannot be resolved. There are no nasty, greedy, obnoxious people in my dream-world. Also, it is organised so that everyone in it has opportunities to fulfill their lives to the maximum.I must try to put these experiences into verse one day. Meanwhile, I did catch the essence of the concept in the last 2 verses of the poem 'In Search of Freedom' - which I will post separately.There are other verses I've done along a similar theme but they will have to wait for another day.I too like to talk to people on this site as this sort of discussion in the 'real' world might lead to being labelled as mentally disordered. Whereas my view is more along the lines that those who think 'their' real world is okay are the ones who are deluded and need 'treating'. The purpose of the treatment would be to induce some moral and philosophical base that will help them change their world in ways that equate more to my own utopia.As that is unlikely to happen I will continue to absent myself as often as I can without getting 'caught' by the mind-police.Best wishesBill Nov 04, 2011
Julz44 : Hi Bill, yes it certainly is good to talk! I would love to start chatting to fellow ostomates and make friends on line but, it has not quite taken off yet. I have sent a few winks but no response to date. Oh well! Nov 04, 2011
Bill : Hello Julz44,Thank you for your post and I hope that you start getting responses to yur posts soon.I wouldn't even know what a 'wink' is let alone send one. Is this something that is beyond the reach of us people who don't pay a fee for using the site? I know we can't use the personalised chat section but I have on occasions successfully used the general chat room. However, most times I've been on there nobody else has been online. When I did get to chat to someone I very quickly ran out of the time I had allocated myself. This made me feel uncomfortable because it seemed as if I was breaking off in mid conversation. Also I don't type very fast so the conversation was not as it might have been in normal conversational etiquette. Hence, I tend to respond to people on this sort of posting so that there is no expectation of instant responses. Now you have mentioned it I'll have to have a look around to see what winks are. Computers are still an educational experience for me and for the most part I am not convinced about the extent of the choices available for communication. I like to keep things as simple as possible so that not too much time is frivolously spent.Keep postingBest wishesBill Nov 04, 2011
Past Member: Bill, I am not a full member either so I can't send messages. But I am always around at cdawn at dawneagle followed by a period and comunication and my world page is dawneagle followed by a period and com. Nov 04, 2011
Julz44 : Hi Bill, it was a joy to read your response which really cheered me up. Yes, you send somebody a wink if you are not full member but, in hope that it will initiate a conversation or reply from that person you feel that you may have a connection with. Since registering on the site a few months ago, I have just been browsing the profiles and comments of people on our ostomate planet which has been really inspiring however, there has been days when I have read some blogs which has touched home and you just want to reach out immediately. However,this seems like a good way of conversing and getting your message across. Thanks very much and best wishes too Nov 04, 2011
Past Member: Julz44, I hope you will also join in on some of the forum topics. That is another good way to connect with others. I have met some friends through connecing that way. Nov 12, 2011
Julz44 : Hi Dawneagle - thank you. I will continue to go through and read some of the different blogs. There's always some topic that hits common ground that I can join in. Nov 13, 2011
Bill : See also 'IT IS SO GOOD TO TALK TO YOU'.(ostomates) With thanks to tess45 for motivating it.Best wishesBill Nov 17, 2011
Bill : Hello everyone,I find it interesting that as soon as this became 'topic of the month' all correspondence about it appears to have ceased. Maybe nobody reads this part of the site or perhaps everything has been said that needs to be said.In one of my 'other-lives' I act as a facilitator of 'constructive conversations' for those unfortunate people who suffer with uncontrolled emotions. This facilitation helps them to help themselves to gain control of their emotions by placing them with a framework of logic. It works by evoking questions raised by themselves and stimulating a range of alternative answers. It also utilizes their impulsivity (which is often a negative factor) and translates that into positive responses which, in turn 'builds' into framework by which they resolve their own problems. No matter how technical it gets, it's really all about how it's 'good to talk' I will blog another poem relating to this entiled 'constructive conversations' Best wishes Bill Nov 21, 2011
Past Member: It IS good to talk. Good blog Dec 01, 2011
Lalu : Bill - After all that reading, I almost forgot that I wanted to tell you I thought this was one of your better poems. Don't know what paying members can do that you can't, but if a wink is allowed, you can find a little icon that says send a wink on someone's profile page.Julz44 - Welcome to the site. It's full of wonderful people. One way to get to know folks is to check out the General Chat room.Lalu Dec 13, 2011
Bill : Hello Lalu,Thank you for your feedback on this poem.I'm glad you liked it. It is always good to know what people think about these things. Sometimes I ponder upon what makes one piece of work seem somehow 'better' than another. My impression with poetry is that if something actually happens, and has an immediate emotional effect, and can be captured in verse whilst the emotions are still active, then the poem seems to be 'composed', 'conducted' and enacted like a genuine piece of life-art. Whereas some of the concepts that are worked upon without this real-life input maybe lacking some of the emotional strength that is essential to rhyming verse. However, without continuous practice at producing poetry of any sort, I think the skills involved would not be developed sufficiently to create the ones that turn out 'better' when the opportunities arise.Best wishes Dec 14, 2011
christiesdad : Dawn, I just read your post - early Nov,2011. Didn't know that you were that depressed at the time. Areyou feeling better now? I hope so. You are the one who always tried to cheer up other poor souls who were depressed. Jan 12, 2012
Past Member: Cristiesdad, My stoma has not been a major issue in my life. However, I have some other debilitating illness in my life - diagnoised as MS (white spots on my brain), Lupus, Fibro, CFS, and various other things. I think Dercums is the correct diagnosis. ............The name doesn't matter - there is no help. It has been progressing for 35 plus years. I am mostly housebound now - occasional excursions. Total body involvement - pain gets beyond any pain meds. It cycles and when I am in the worst parts of the cycle, all I can do is withdraw and wait for it to pass. Survival mode. It is sometimes difficult. So my moods and abilities shift often. I try to keep my bad stuff to myself. I am doing well just now. You'll see me online a bit more. Thanks for you comments. Jan 12, 2012


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