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'Constructive Conversations'

Posted by Bill


‘Constructive conversations’ say.
So much more than others say.
A special method to converse.
That I will now portray in verse.

‘Constructive’ means it builds upon.
Foundations that are sound and strong.
Asking questions to produce.
Conversations of some use.

Comprehensive and extensive.
Concise and yet discursive.
With an underlying notion.
To tame your sore and raw emotion.

When pressure makes you want to burst.
Emotions can be at their worst.
It’s then constructive talking can.
Help you think and help you plan.

All those things that make you frown.
And everything that drags you down.
All those things that bother you.
Can be resolved by talking through.

I don’t mean just with idle chat.
You won’t get far with talk like that.
To deal with things effectively.
You need to talk ‘constructively’.

Educe everything that’s negative.
Then counter with the positive.
Surprises have a job to hide.
When you examine every side.

Ask each question one by one.
Use your own answers as they come.
Let your imagination flow.
Then watch your conversation grow.

Write one thought down and then the next.
I find it helps to keep the text.
As I refer to what I’ve said.
More thoughts will spring into my head.

‘Constructive’ conversing clarifies.
All my questions and replies.
And as my conversations end.
Clarity begins my friend.

B. Withers 2011

See all blogs by Bill
Nov 21, 2011
tess45 : what are you thinking Ambies? Hope you and Bill are having a good day
Nov 21, 2011
DebsyJ : Thats a fantastic poem Bill, it really captures my own thoughts
Nov 22, 2011
tess45 : Bill - why don't we come up with a topic for a group of us to have a constructive conversation? I have noticed that there are several themes to choose from lately - fear, lack of family, isolation etc. Let me know what you think - I'm sure that we can rely on several veterans of the sit to contribute.
Nov 22, 2011
Bill : Hello Tess45, I do think that it would be a good idea but I'm not quite sure if this is the forum in which to do it. I have a feeling that it would be too long-winded to follow the format for the type of 'constructive conversation' I have developed. These take place over a period of two hours with participants present in the room and they are a very rapid interactive process. They involve looking at relevant subjects from every possible question (some of which I have made up to make the conversations more comprehensive!) I type everything that is contributed and it is displayed instantaneously on a projected image on the wall. The essence of the process is that it is instinctive and impulsive. The questions stimulate responses and these stimulate more responses.until the first question is exhausted and we move on to the next question relating to the same subject. I am not sure that we could recreate this dynamic on a site such as this. Upon reflection, the conversations already happening on this site have a small element of 'constructive' conversations. That is, someone puts up their thoughts on a subject and we all comment. It's just that it is not so 'organised' and structured as I am used to elsewhere. This has its advantages in that people get in, get on and get out of the conversations more quickly than if they were artificially extended by asking more questions. It might work if it had a section of it's own so that it did not take up too much space in blogs or forums but that would be up to the administrators. I suppose we could give it a go on a blog and see how much response we get. What would you suggest for the first topic? Best wishes Bill
Nov 22, 2011
ron in mich : huh ? is,nt that what the chat room is for to kick around ideas or just have a bs session. ron
Nov 22, 2011
tess45 : Hey Ron there is hardly anybody in the general chat room or so I have found, it can be lively at times when there are people in it - I thought that a blog or forum would be available to all - I know some people are not comfortable with chat
Nov 22, 2011
Bill : Hello Ron in Mich,You are of course quite right about the chat room. As I undertand it there are two types of chat room - one for paid up members and a general chat room for everybody.(that'll include me) I have logged on to the general chat many times only to find that I was the only one there - Almost a promt for a poem on being alone! I did have a couple of good sessions with johnnotken but nobody before or since then. It's good to have a live chat like that but I was having difficulty with online etiquette (if there is such a thing) and found myself way behind the strings of conversational concepts. At least with blogs and forums the flow of conversation happens when people find themselves with available time to spend on it rather than trying to find a specific time of day or week. I really don't know the best forum or how to take this idea forward if at all. However, I do think it could work and I'll try to give it some thought. Best wishesBill
Nov 22, 2011
Bill : Hello Dawneagle,I liked the suggestion of 'stoma stigma' as a topic for a 'constructive conversation'. I wonder if you could repeat the above rationale for the subject on the forum with that title. - Just to start the ball rolling. Thanks.Best wishes Bill
Nov 22, 2011
tess45 : that topic sounds good - might I also suggest FEAR - I have noticed that seems to be a common theme lately
Nov 23, 2011
Bill : Hello Tess45,After your initial post suggesting doing a 'constructive conversation' on here I had every intention of putting 'fear' up as the first subject. However, by the time I had finished reading Dawneagle's suggestion - I was already instinctively envisaging how it might go. I have to admit that over many years 'fear' has been one of the most discussed topics for 'constructive conversations'. It is something that almost weveryone can either relate to first hand or they would have something to say on the subject. My question to you would be - shall I start another 'constructive conversation' alongside the other one, or wait until 'stoma stigma' is finished and then follow on with 'fear'?I don't mind either way.Best wishesBill
Nov 23, 2011
tess45 : perhaps we should see how this one goes and it can tie into Fear
Nov 23, 2011
tess45 : We could also try one based on our Post Op experiences with our respective Health Care systems and providers - surely I am not the only one here that is having problems
Nov 23, 2011
Bill : Hello Tess, Both of those options sound good to me. Let's get some momentum going on the first one and maybe think about the timing of the next so that we are not overloading people with expectations of their contributions. Thanks and Best wishes Bill
Nov 23, 2011
tess45 : maybe we could send out a general invitation to all in the forum section - just stir up some interest and more participants?
Nov 23, 2011
Bill : Hello Tess,I do think that inviting people to join in is an attractive concept. However, even at this early stage we have attracted over 100 views on the first 'constructive conversation'. I think that if people are moved enough to read the comments they might also be motivated to reply. There will be a large number of people who are simply 'spectators' and read this sort of thing because they don't have any other forum in which to do so. Our contributions are free from pressure and spontaneous. I would not want to think that we were overtly encouraging or cajoling people to open up and join in, other than by the encouraging, easy flowing things we write on our own run of the mill comments.I'm not opposed to 'advertising' but I wouldn't be doing it myself. If you would like to give it a go you would certainly have my blessing.Best wishes Bill
Nov 23, 2011
tess45 : Bill you have a good point, although on certain days there is an appeal to bullying people to do what I want LOL - Perhaps I should put this to good use and bully CCAC LOLBest WishesTerry

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