Pre-stoma days I’d the impression
there was no way I’d get depression.
For I was looking forward to
a new and painless way to poo.
After suffering all those years
so often coming close to tears.
The prospect of relief from pain
gave me belief in life again.
I thought I ought to be prepared
and not get caught a little scared.
I did not know the seeds of doubt
might grow in me and then sprout out.
But after they had nicely hid
that’s precisely what they did.
They must have stayed and laid in wait
in some sort of dormant state.
That was until I had the op.
because it’s then it would not stop.
Depression filled my battered brain
when once instilled by hurt and strain.
I could not cope with what I’d lost
and did not count emotional cost.
I had a sort of disbelief
at being caught in all that grief.
I’m sure it was when colon went
and all my energy was spent.
That’s when my depression started
at the time my colon parted.
But over time I have adjusted
in my stoma I have trusted.
So now I’ve had it quite a while
sometimes I might be seen to smile.
B. Withers 2013