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DI-LINE RHYME On STOMAS

Posted by Bill

Often, when I'm between writing 'proper' books, I turn my hand to writing two-lines rhyming verses on whatever subject happens to spring to mind at the time. 

My focus on this occasion is 'stomas'. I thought I would share my efforts with you all before I cobble it all together for publication, so that if any of you budding rhymists want to contribute please feel free to express what's on your mind in two rhyming lines .

Best wishes

Bill

                                      DI-LINE RHYME ON STOMAS.
I OPTED FOR THE SURGEON’S KNIFE – ‘COS STOMAS’ GRANT THE GIFT OF LIFE.
MY STOMA STICKS OUT FROM MY TUM – REPLACING MY MALFUNCTIONING BUM.
A STOMA’S NOT JUST PHYSICAL – IT’S SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL.
I MUST ADMIT I HAD A SCARE – THE FIRST TIME THAT I SAW IT THERE.
THIS ROUNDED MOUND SO CHERRY RED – BROUGHT ME BACK FROM THE NEAR DEAD.
BEFORE MY STOMA MY BELIEF – WAS THAT I’D NEVER GET RELIEF.
NOW MY COLON’S REARRANGED – EVERYTHING IN LIFE HAS CHANGED
NO MORE WORRY, HURRY, SCURRY – NOW MY BAGS CAN CATCH THAT SLURRY.
I HAD FAECES IN FREEFALL – BUT NOW MY BAGS WILL CATCH IT ALL.
THERE’S NO DOUBT STOMAS LIBERATE -BUT SOMETIMES THEY EXASPERATE.
‘TWAS NOT AN ANSWERED PRAYER FOR ME – TO ‘HAVE’ TO HAVE AN OSTOMY.
AT LAST, FROM PAINFUL PAST I’M FREE – NOW THAT MY STOMA’S PART OF ME.
BETTER FOR THOSE WHO CAN PREPARE –THAN THOSE WHO WAKE TO FIND IT THERE.
STOMA, STOMA, BRIGHT AND RED - JUST WAITING FOR YOUR LOAD TO SHED.
A STOMA CAN GIVE YOU A FRIGHT – ERUPTING IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT.
A QUESTION ASKED ABOUT MY STOMA – IS HOW I MASK PUNGENT AROMA?
OF ALL THE PROBLEMS I HAVE HAD – MY STOMA DOES NOT SEEM SO BAD.
TO THOSE WHO’S STOMA THEY WOULD CURSE – I SAY TO YOU, IT COULD BE WORSE.
BEFORE THIS STOMA CAME MY WAY – MY LIFE WAS FULL OF CRAP, I’D SAY.
HAVING A STOMA’S NOT SO BAD – CONSIDERING THE LIFE I HAD.
MY STOMA OFTEN MAKES ME SMILE – ESPECIALLY WHEN FOLKS RUN A MILE.
THOUGH MY COLON’S REARRANGED – NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE HAS CHANGED.
I AM SURE I WOULD HAVE DIED – WITHOUT THIS STOMA ON MY SIDE.
THERE’S THOSE WHO KNOW AND THOSE WHO DON’T – SOME WILL GROW AND OTHERS WON’T.
WHY DO PEOPLE STIGMATISE – WHEN REALLY, THEY SHOULD EMPATHISE?
A STOMA STUCK UPON ONE’S SIDE – CAN MAKE SOME PEOPLE RUN AND HIDE.
IT’S AT THOSE TIMES WHEN HOPE DESCENDS – THAT I RELY ON OSTO-FRIENDS.
I WISH PEOPLE COULD UNDERSTAND – THE PROBLEMS FACED IN OSTO-LAND.
A STOMA, WHEN ALL’S SAID AND DONE – IS JUST ANOTHER TYPE OF BUM.
I LIKE IT WHEN FOLKS WANT TO KNOW – THEN I CAN SAY OR EVEN SHOW.
MY STOMA HOLDS A RAG-TAG-BAG – THEN WHEN IT’S FULL IT STARTS TO SAG.
FOR THOSE WHO CAN’T CONTROL THEIR POO – A STOMA MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR YOU.
WHERE STOMA PROBLEMS ARE INVOLVED - SOMETIMES THEY CANNOT BE RESOLVED.
I FEEL THAT WE SHOULD BE INFORMED – OF HERNIAS, TO BE FOREWARNED.
THERE’S ONE THING STILL GIVES ME THE HUMP – THAT’S MUCUS FROM MY RECTAL STUMP.
WHEN BAGS BEGAN TO IRRITATE – I SWAPPED, SO I COULD IRRIGATE.
AT FIRST A STOMA CAN SEEM WEIRD – UNTIL YOU BANISH WHAT YOU FEARED.
WITH STOMAS, I GET THE IMPRESSION – THEY CAN SOMETIMES CAUSE DEPRESSION.
IF STOMAS BRING BAD THOUGHTS TO MIND – REMEMBER THAT WHICH LAY BEHIND.
WITH STOMA, ALL MY PAIN WAS GONE – AND FROM MY BUM THE SUNSHINE SHONE.
THE STOMA THAT REPLACED MY BUM – NOW PERCHES PERTLY ON MY TUM.
I HAVE JOINED THE CHOSEN FEW – WHO USE A STOMA FOR MY POO.
MY STOMA MADE ME RANT AND SHOUT – TO LET THE CRAP AND VENOM OUT.
SOMETIMES STOMAS CAUSE SUCH PAIN – WE CAN SUCCUMB TO MENTAL STRAIN.
A STOMA CAUSES SUDDEN CHANGE – IT’S LITTLE WONDER THINGS SEEM STRANGE.
IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT OUR LOOS – CAN CATER FOR OUR STOMA’S POOS.
TO LOO DESIGNERS I WOULD MENTION – STOMAS ALSO NEED ATTENTION.
WHEN YOU ASK ME, “How are you?” – SEEK YOU AN ANSWER THAT IS TRUE?
WHEN YOU ASK IF I’M OKAY – I WONDER WHAT YOU THINK I’LL SAY.
MY STOMA STINKS WITH LOTS OF STUFF – UNTIL IT THINKS IT’S DONE ENOUGH.
I KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE – BECAUSE FOR ME THEY’RE ALWAYS THERE.
SOMETIMES I’M TIRED OF IT ALL – THE CHRONIC ILLNESS BIG AND SMALL.
I TELL PEOPLE MY STOMA’S CLEAN – MORE SO THAN MY BUM HAS BEEN.
SOMETIMES MY STOMA’S FULL OF SHIT – AND THEN IT’S HARD TO COPE WITH IT.
SOMETIMES ALL DIGNITY IS LOST – WHEN WE CANNOT CONTROL COMPOST.
MY FATE WILL STATE I’LL DISAPPEAR – BENEATH THE WEIGHT OF OSTO-GEAR.
COUNT YOUR BLESSING ONE BY ONE – FOR OSTOMIES AREN’T MUCH FUN.
I WILL TRADE YOU ALL MY GEAR - FOR YOUR WORKING GUTS MY DEAR.
SOME PEOPLE CAN’T APPRECIATE – A STOMA IN ITS CHRONIC STATE.
CHRONIC PAIN IS NOT MUCH FUN – FOR ME, FOR YOU OR ANYONE.
I DREAD SOME DAYS MY STOMA SPEAKS - THE NOISE, THE SMELL, THE MESS, THE LEAKS.
AT FIRST, I THOUGHT IT WAS THE PITS – BUT NOW I CAN CONTROL MY SHITS.
I’D RATHER HAVE A STOMA THAN AN ARSE - ‘COS STOMAS AREN’T A MESSY, PAINFUL FARCE.
MY STOMA LOOKED JUST LIKE A ROSE - SO ‘ALEX-RED’ IS WHAT I CHOSE.
WHEN ‘KRAKATOA’ IS ERUPTING - I FIND THE LAVA SO DISRUPTING.
WHEN ALL THINGS STOMA, CAN’T GET WORSE – I RID MYSELF OF CRAP IN VERSE.

See all blogs by Bill
Comments:
Angelicamarie : Bill, Like your rhymes, they were right on time! Some of your words were kind like a friend of mine.
Bill : Thank you so much Angelicamarie.
I see you are getting the hang of rhyming slang. you'll be a poet before you know it.
Best wishes
Bill


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