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Tiredness 3.

Posted by Bill


My tiredness can overwhelm
to make me feel I’ve lost the helm.
Sometimes it’s like a little boat
sinking fast but still afloat.

As there’s no one else around
to this sinking boat I’m bound.
Tossed and battered by each wave
waiting for its watery grave.

All around dark clouds of gloom
intensify my fears of doom.
In this relentless stormy sea
I foresee the end of me.

I’ve heard of instincts to survive
and hidden strengths to stay alive.
Mine’s never been a half-filled cup
instead I feel like giving up.

My time has come, I can’t pretend
my tether’s come right to the end.
The pressure’s caused my will to crack
like last straw broke the camel’s back.

I can no longer have belief
that I will somehow get relief.
I’ve reached the point where I can’t cope
and now I feel I’ve lost all hope.

The more I try, the more I find
that tiredness engulfs my mind.
Every muscle I have strained
but now I’m weary, worn-out, drained.

My exhaustion is so deep
that all I want to do is sleep.
So now I will lay down my head
if I awake, I won’t be dead.

B. Withers 2012

See all blogs by Bill
Angelicamarie : Bill I love your rhythems, however this one is so different, the best one to me is a loner with a stoner, your a good writer!! Hope to write like you one day! Enjoy the rest of your weekend! Angelicamarie
Bill : Hello Angelicamarie. Thank you so much for your kind comments about my writing. However, I would urge you not to set your sights on trying to write like me (or anyone else!). You are good at expressing yourself in your own right and, if you concentrate on doing your own thing, in your own way, you will become even better at it and it will be much more enjoyable than trying to emulate someone else. Over the years I have had many critics of my work who tell me that they prefer the works of others and, therefore I should change the way I write to suit their tastes. I usually smile and agree with them that my work needs to change if it is to appeal to them. What I do not tell them, is that I have absolutely no intention of doing anything, other than what appeals to me at the time of writing. I encourage them to tell me more precisely what it is they like about my fellow writers, with the implication that I will follow their guidance. The truth is, what they tell me is much more about themselves and the way they think, which is what I am really interested in. I have quite a number of verses dedicated to the thoughts of others as I feel it opens a window onto the world of cognition and social interaction that only becomes apparent through such in-depth conversations. Interestingly, What I have also observed, is that almost all critics are deeply troubled within themselves about all sorts of other issues, apart from writing, about which they will express negativity if encouraged to do so. I consider myself very fortunate inasmuch as I have a gift for encouraging this sort of conversation and genuinely listen to it with a view to making something more positive from it. If not for the person themselves, then for others who might benefit from the exposition of the examples they show. My own motivation for writing is not for other people to like or dislike what I produce, but to express myself as accurately as I can so that I can be satisfied that the ideas and concepts are as I am perceiving them. I see the writing as an alternative to painting: Sometimes the pictures are an accurate representation and are pleasing, Other times they are a deliberate distortion of reality, representing what people 'think', which is often a similar distortion. In the past. I have found that those people who tend to appreciate my style of writing most, are those who have a fundamental desire to be independent thinkers and do not follow fashions. These are folk who I consider to be 'fringe-edgers', who do not necessarily fit in with group ideals and practices because they think things through for themselves rather than be led by others. There are lots of them out there but they are sometimes difficult to recognise because they tend not to express their own views openly to those who they are convinced will not want to listen. I have many stories to relate of people who have approached me, expressing a desire to talk- simply because they have witnessed the way I have listened and interacted with others within their hearing range. These are people who live on the interactive edges of society, who are constantly on the lookout for fellow fringe-edgers with whom they might have a fleeting conversation before they once again disappear into social oblivion. I love it on the 'edge' and have tried to sum up this notion in my verse entitled ' I am a nobody' which I believe is still part of my profile on this site. Anyway, from our correspondence thus far, I consider you to be one of those independent thinkers and as such, I would not want to think that you would be doing anything other than your own thing with regards to thinking and writing. Keep up the good work. Best wishes Bill