Meet & talk to fellow OstoMates Support | Friendship | Relationships 21,6K + members


Posted by Bill


What do I call this thing I don
without upsetting anyone?
By any other name so sweet
to catch digested food I eat.

I used to call this thing a ‘bag’
as on my belly it would sag
to catch the awful smelly waste
’till in the toilet it was placed.

As fashions change each passing day
and ‘bag’ is not the thing to say.
Now suddenly, it’s not P.C.
to wear a ‘bag’ as part of me.

But for a wordsmith it’s no drag
to find a new word for my ‘bag’.
Upon one word I’ve no reliance
so I might call it my ‘appliance’.

For this is what they first called it
when faeces had its new exit
from the stoma on my tum
instead of coming from my bum.

For others it’s a ‘pouch’ and they
have every right to have their say.
But this term ‘pouch’ comes into play
with different meaning when it’s ‘J’.

Some say it is a ‘badge’ they wear
to signify that they’ve been ‘there’
and overcome adversity
in life’s ‘crap’ university.

This latter term I like a lot
for it hints at the why and what
of all the things that we’ve been through
which brings together me and you.

B. Withers 2018

See all blogs by Bill
Puppyluv56 : Nice! Aug 16, 2018
Angelicamarie : Bill..... That's simply beautiful... Angelicamarie
Aug 16, 2018
Past Member: Love it, Bill. That's a good one! When you come up with the right name, please let me know cuz I'm right with you on not really knowing what to call it. (Some times I refer to it as "this damned thing I have to wear.) Not quite an appropriate name, I don't think. I need another one..... If anyone can come up with it, it'll be you! lol Aug 16, 2018
Puppyluv56 : Haha. My husband started calling it Betty from the first day! Not sure where that came from and may not be nice for those ladies with the name Betty! Lol I don't call it that but have begun to think of it as Betty! Nothing else seems too fit so Bill, I'm waiting on you too! Lol Aug 16, 2018
Bill : Thank you all for your kind comments on this blog. It's very satisfying to know that there are still people out there who still read rhyming verse, let alone appreciate it. To Weirdlife: Part of my take on this is that it seems interesting and great that so many people have found their own ways to describe these things. I have found at least 15 different words people have used on this site alone and they are all pertinent to that person's perspective on the issue. Language is evolving all the time and it doesn't really matter what words are used as long as the meaning is there. I sometimes wonder how deaf people might 'sign' the term for our appliances.
Best wishes
Aug 17, 2018
Pirrip : A sad sac, an almanac, good enough for Napoleon, and Eisenhower, good enough for me. Wasnt hard to choose between this inconvenience.or a slow painful death, sicking up poo...... LIFE saver!
Aug 17, 2018
Bill : Bill

Hello Pirrip. A great choice of words from some great people. It wasn't hard for me to choose either. but bear a thought for those who had no choice, were not expecting it and certainly not wanting it. The shock of waking up and finding it there must be much harder to come to terms with. Best wishes Bill
Aug 18, 2018 : Bag, Betty, pouch, stink sac, whatever you call it is perfectly appropriate. It is now a part of you and your life, so you should not be judged by what you call "it". Let's hear more of the names floating around out there! Aug 22, 2018
Bill : Hello madelynn. Thanks for your reply to my blog. I agree and hope that people will not be ashamed of whatever they call it.
Best wishes
Aug 22, 2018
seigle : I call my ? Bob... I try to see him as a pet dog . He is very loyal and never leaves my side. I dont have to feed him but I do have to clean up after him and take him to the vet from time to time. In company when embarrassing odors and noises occur I just blame it on the dog. Bob has become my best friend Aug 22, 2018 : I Love It!! Aug 22, 2018
Bill : Hello Roger. I love your analogy with a 'dog'. Thanks for sharing.
Best wishes
Aug 23, 2018
Bill : Hi Madelynn. Thanks for sharing your positive thoughts on this rhyme. Every little helps in terms of letting us know that people like these literary things.
Best wishes
Aug 23, 2018
Fred383 : I call my pouch "Egor" after Frankenstein's assistant. He is my sidekick. Literally. Aug 24, 2018
Bill : Hello Fred383. I like the association with Frankenstein's assistant. According to the Urban Dictionary one of the several definitions of E-gor is:-
Someone, usually an attention whore, who feigns a friendship with others in the presumption that everyone will return that friendship, but no one likes him/her (except for the 1 or 2 attention whore sidekicks). E-gor's can often be found at places/parties where they are not accepted, invited, or liked.
There seem to be elements of Egors in our stoma sidekicks.
Best wishes
Aug 24, 2018
Bill : I had not noticed before today, that admin had censored one of my end-words in this rhyme and replaced it with '***'. This makes it look as if I could not find a rhyming word to match with 'bag' so I've replaced the original word with 'drag'. However, I would point out that my original word 'fag', is only an offensive term for a homosexual in the US. Here in the UK the word has been traditionally used to denote a tedious task, which would have made sense in the context of the rhyme. (as did the original choice of word.) I hope this did not distract from the reader's enjoyment of the rhyme.
Best wishes
Oct 13, 2018
ron in mich : Hi Bill another good one that's spot on. Oct 14, 2018
Bill : Thank you ron in mich for your appreciation and support. It's difficult to know how these sorts of rhymes will be received so it's great to get this type of feedback.
Best wishes Bill
Oct 14, 2018

Currently online: 12    
4 members & 8 visitors