Poetry by Bill

BALLOONING 21-06-11
When I was young, so many years ago, I used to blow up balloons and let the air flow freely out to sound like a long, wet fart. I played this amusing game with my children and now with my grand children.
Nowadays I no longer need to buy rubber balloons as my stoma has the same effect and it's still a great laugh for the kids.
My ballooning can sometimes be really pai ...

WORKING BLIND.

With rhymes, I very often find
that when a concept comes to mind
it is because they affect me
in some small way quite personally.

Today I had a small eye op,
which made the sight in one eye stop
and as my glasses would not fit
I only saw through a small slit.

So there I was, more than half blind
wondering how I would find
a way to manage my stoma
with the output and aroma ...

A RANT.

I’ll share what rant’s are all about
they’re there to let the venom out.
Keep poisons in and they will grow
give voice to them and they will go.

If I can have a rant I find
it clears the rancour from my mind.
It’s relaxation for the wise
and satisfaction is the prize.

So if I rant and fume it might
rid me of my gloom and spite.
As ...

I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW.

I can see clearly now that the pain has gone
I can see all obstacles in my way.
gone are the cataracts that had me blind.
It’s gonna be a bright, bright, sun-shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone.
All of the bad feelings have disappeared.
I can be confident to carry on
It’s gonna be a bright, bright, sun-shiny day.

Now that the clouds have gone ...

ME AND MY OSTOMY.


‘Twas not an answered prayer for me
to ‘have’ to have an ‘Ostomy’.

It’s no more easy to adjust
just because something’s a ‘must’.

I could whine and feel quite sad
but now it’s done it’s not so bad.

Bright blood - red as it could be
it’s not unlike a rose to see.

Rose ...

TODAY I LOST A STOMA PLUG.
For many years I’ve felt quite smug,to wear a simple stoma plug,and skip the inconvenienceof the stoma-bag experience.
Perhaps, for some, I should explain,that I found bags could be a pain,with all that emptying and stuffand so, I’d quickly had enough.
I learned another way to go,and switched to irrigation soI ditched the bags that I had dread,and wore ...

BLOCKAGES.

Since I’ve had an ostomy.
Many things occur to me.
I take each problem as they come.
Then try my best to solve each one.

A blockage is the kind of thing.
That my ostomy might bring.
It’s hard to know what causes it.
The ostomy or lumps of ** it.

As I like to keep control.
I put my finger in the hole.
And as my finger moves about.
I know m ...

STOMA PLUGS.
I think stoma plugs are greatbut that’s because I irrigate.They are a very useful toolso I will use them as a rule.
Most of the time the stoma plugwill slide right in and fit quite snug.then when it does it works quite wellto stem the flood and quell the smell.
Although they’re not a panaceaI think they are a great idea.They’re not without their problems thoug ...

DO WHAT? –(stomas)

Some of the many things we do
is sort our stomas and the pooh,
which goes from bags to down the loo
and offers us a different view.

Most people’s pooh comes from their bum
but ours emerges from our tum,
so we do quite a lot it’s true
to cater to our stoma’s pooh.

It can be quite hard to adjust
and not treat stomas with disgust
thus, we must do this adjusting
j ...

MY BAGS.



My bags are sound and they are tough.

They hold the grime and slime.

Although I sometimes treat them rough

They stand the test of time



I used to have no bags at all.

‘Gawd’ - what an awful mess.

‘Flipping’ faeces in free-fall.

To cause me much distress.



Rarely could I walk or hike.

It made me feel so old.
...

THE HERNIA BELT.

The hernia that I acquired
is not the sort to be admired.
It is not gained by lifting weights
but is well known to ostomates.

For after laparoptomy
it sits behind my ostomy.
This makes it harder to control
and it sometimes blocks the hole.

This blow the hand of fate has dealt
does not respond to hernia belt.
I’ve tried them large and t ...

A EULOGY TO BILL WITHERS (1938-2020).
I thought I ought to write some rhyme,acknowledging that over time,Bill and I have shared a name,which may have brought us both some fame.
Whilst Bill’s fame was on the stage,mine was on the written page,and he had talent with his songswhile I was busy righting wrongs.
I had a great respect for Bill,and now he’s dead I have this still,for al ...

DERIVATION

Within my life, I’ve always strived
to get to know whence thing’s derived,
especially professionally,
psychologically and behaviourally.

When witnessing an end result,
I find it wise to then consult
about whatever went before
because that tells us so much more.

Quite often, there are antecedents
which may well take precedence
over what came after them,
which otherwise w ...

A TWO–PIECE split BAG TIP.

For those who use a two-piece set
for your stoma, I should let
you know what I have now found out
so, you may know what it’s about.

Some of you have complained of smell.
Well, as far as I can tell
the bags are fairly flimsy so
here’s something you ought to know.

I use my bags six weeks or more
before I throw them out’ the door
so, with any weaknesses I ...

TRAVEL WITH A STOMA.

When you travel with a stoma
to Hongkong or Oklahoma.
If you make sure that you’re prepared.
there’s nothing that should make you scared.

Roving with stomas is not hard
so long as you have some safeguards.
Don’t pack your worries or your fear
then they will not interfere.

You’ll be allowed a carry-bag
which makes it much ...