I put up a fight for a long time, years, in fact. I refused to get a cell phone, or portable phone, or personal devise, or whatever the hell you call those damned things. I never liked phones, anyway. When the landline rang, my wife had to answer it. If she wasn’t home, either I didn’t bother to get up or, if I did, I was invariably brusque (why is this not spelled b-r-u-s-k?). Half the time it was a telemarketer or some other noxious solicitor. (“Get a real job,” I’d say, and hang up.) My wife had finally got...

Every fourth morning, I spread what I need upon the bathroom sink to change my appliance. It is routine, calcified over time into ritual. Each time I follow exact procedure, identical movements. It’s as if muscle memory takes over; conscious thought becomes secondary; I am an automaton. There was a time in my life when this sort of habitual activity was the exception, my work days busy with the variety that I was fortunate enough to have to confront day after day. Retirement has changed all that. I now face what Sylvia Plath called &...

It’s finally October, my birth month, and the beginning of a three-month long celebratory period of over-drinking, over-eating, and over-spending. Why is the tenth month of the year named from the Latin prefix for eight (octo-)? Ans: because, under the original Roman calendar, it was the eighth month in a ten-month cycle. When they converted to twelve months in 713 BC, the name stuck, even though it then became the tenth month. There are plenty of special times that are coming up (can you say PUMPKIN, TURKEY, CREDIT CARD OVERUSE?), b...

It has been a LONG time since I was last involved in the dating scene as my marriage of twenty years just imploded. I recently began talking to a young man online who asked for my phone number. I thought that this was probably the right time to reveal the truth about my cancer and ileostomy. He dropped me like a hot potato. Not a word. No phone call, no email, nothing.  Even though it is the reaction I expected, it still stung a bit, you know? My husband was wonderful about my ostomy. Didn't bother him in the least. BUT he was also ho...

Hi Gang,   So I just scored a major win on Ebay on an antique telephone and it got me thinking about what my fellow ostomates do in their spare time.  As many have kicked their activity level down a notch with their new frontbutt I'm curious what you enjoy doing.  For me I've been collecting many things since long before my second ass came along, so not much has changed.  I'm concentrating on the top 3 right now, but here's a list of things I enjoy.  Let me know what gets your motor revving.   vintage Erect...

Anyone have favorite smoothie recipes? Bonus points if they freeze/thaw well for lunch. 😉  

Intimacy is always a difficult area for us ostomates. Here is how I handle it.  Sometimes without my partner knowing that I have an ostomy.  Number one.  I bought one of those streatch weight or weight loss belts that Velcro together.  Number two, I asked my Doctor write me a prescription for lamictal, an anti diarrhea medicine.  Get lots depending on anticipated sexual activity.    For each 3 hour time that I want your stoma to be quiet, I  take 5 pills. I start 6 hours BEFORE my date (5 pills, then...

A sense of humor is a wonderful thing, more precious than strength, or smarts, or even great hair.  For some of us, it is what got us through our illnesses, helped us to handle our pain, and come to grips with the challengles of an ostomy.  "He was born with a gift of laughter," wrote Sabatini in Scaramouche, "and a sense that the world was mad."  It is a little bit crazy, when you think about it, the whole cockamamie concept of our re-plumbed bodily functions.  We came out of surgery like models metamorphosed into a Pi...

CONFLUENCE OF OSTOMATES. When a group converse togetherit will be their own choice whether they play an active part or not depending on the skills they’ve got. Some will need facilitationto establish a foundationfor a safe and friendly p...

A short drive from my house is a nice walk leading to a lake. I park my car and cross a field before heading into the woods along a wide path leading to a point where the trail splits off in two directions. “When you come to a fork in the road, take it,” said the great philosopher Yogi Berra. The two choices are either clockwise, or counter-clockwise, around the lake. I go left and immediately there is a long, wooden pedestrian trestle that ascends and crosses over a railroad track and continues into a large grove of spreading ...

a vegetarian friend recently asked me...how can you love a dog, yet eat his cousin the pig...i replied....cos the dog doesnt contain any bacon. when im so hungry my heads a shakin dont give me no tofu...i want some bacon you come home tired, and hungry as a dog give me some meat...off a hog now i love the smell of fresh bread bakin but i`ll push it aside...when i see bacon veggies are gross and fish is smelly i want some meat from a hogs belly listen close, here`s the deal give me bacon at every meal in my salad, ...

“The naming of cats is a difficult matter,” wrote T. S. Eliot in Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats. “A cat,” he continued, “must have three different names.” First, there’s the everyday family name. Then, there’s a special, more dignified name, “a name that’s particular” so that the cat can feel pride and “keep up his tail perpendicular.” Our four family cats are Blondie, Sweetie, Pipsqueak, and Bart. Those are their family names. But they are also known ...

Here is a word from which I shrink like a frightened puppy: doppelgänger. It is a double of a living person, someone who looks just like someone else. The whole idea scares the hell out of me. Just imagine yourself, walking down the street, and you are suddenly confronted with a stranger who looks just like you! I would most certainly go schizo. As odd experiences go, that would be a ten on a one to ten scale. But why would I react so dramatically? Simply put: I don’t want there to be another me. We’re all individuals and ...

I was at my dentist today getting a new crown. As he was injecting me with the anesthetic, I started to feel something warm on my side. My first thought was that the assistant had spilled some water on me but very quickly realized my bag was lea...

This is the second time I have gotten a post listing premium content.Is anyone else getting this? A lot of good informantion.

Hello, I'm soon to get an ileostomy but there's one thing putting me off massively! I've heard for a few women now that vaginal intercourse is either impossible, very sore or (for lack of a better way to say it) can't go very deep after the surgery. I've had appointments with my consultant and 2 stoma nurses who have never heard of this but they also gave me a leaflet that said exactly my points in it?! I feel like this a massive gamble to be taking, especially considering no one can give me an answer? I'd love some advice from women w...

When the narrator of Saul Bellow’s The Bellarosa Collection is asked about a long past event that he doesn’t recall, he responds “Lady, this is one of a trillion incidents in a life like mine. Why should I recollect it?” But it gets simpler and closer to home than that. We bow to the recognition of the reality of memory loss begrudgingly. This summer I realized that I was too often having difficulty remembering whether or not I took my morning pill regimen. So I’ve had to start using one of those day-by-day pi...

Aging with an ostomy isn't much different than aging without one, but that doesn’t make it any easier. You have to pay attention to your diet, but for slightly different reasons than before. Clothing choices, you discover quickly, take into account something other than “Does it make my butt look good?” Staying in shape takes on a whole new level of factor consideration. And travel…that can get even more complicated than usual. I once had an airport security guard confiscate from my carry-on the scissors that I&rsqu...

Hi new to the forum trying to find advice as searching for months and not found an answer or someone similar  Back story, I'm 6'6" and don't excersize much and have a desk job. I was 362 pounds i started calorie counting by dropping to 1900 calories, this worked and I dropped 2 pounds a week for roughly 1.5 years then i stopped losing weight. So after 3 months of not losing any I dropped to 1400 calories and I continued to lose 2 pounds a week until I reached 240 pounds. I stopped dieting after 3 years because I had an operation d...