This topic is about navigating the world of dating when you have an ileostomy, which is a type of surgery that creates an opening in the belly for waste to leave the body. The person sharing their story has had an ileostomy since 2010 due to Crohn’s disease and is now ready to start dating again after being widowed. They are concerned about how potential partners might react to their ostomy bag and are seeking advice on when and how to bring it up in a new relationship.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others:

1. True love goes beyond appearances. Many people believe that someone who genuinely cares for you will accept your ostomy without hesitation. It can help you quickly identify who is truly worth your time.

2. Timing is important when discussing your medical history.
- Start by mentioning that you have been ill, then talk about the surgery, and finally bring up the ostomy bag when the relationship seems to be getting serious.
- Some have shared their situation within a few days of meeting someone and received full acceptance.

3. How you present the information matters.
- Describe the ostomy as a life-saving result of your battle with Crohn’s disease, highlighting your survival and resilience.
- Approach the topic with confidence, humor, and a sense of normalcy, as your partner will likely reflect your attitude.

4. Confidence and self-image are crucial.
- Embrace your stoma and maintain a positive, vibrant outlook to keep the focus away from the bag.
- Consider it a "built-in jerk detector"—if someone is turned off early, it saves you from future heartache.

5. Shared experiences can be reassuring.
- Many people have found long-term relationships, marriages, and fulfilling sex lives after surgery, proving that intimacy is possible.
- Both men and women have experienced initial fear and social withdrawal but found acceptance once they started dating again.

6. Practical tips for dating:
- Online dating can widen your options, especially if you live in a small town.
- Only show your stoma when you feel comfortable and safe; many partners respond with curiosity rather than disgust.

7. Emotional support is available.
- You are not alone in your fears about confidence, disclosure, and social interactions.
- Keep looking for that special person, as there is someone out there for everyone, including those with an ostomy.