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Dec 21, 2018

When to disclose ostomy to a date?

The topic at hand is about deciding when to tell a date that you have an ostomy. This can be a delicate subject, and people often seek advice on the best timing for such a disclosure while navigating the dating world. Here are some helpful insights and advice:

- There is no one-size-fits-all answer. The timing should align with your comfort level, confidence, and how you perceive the relationship's progression.

- There are two common approaches:
1. Some choose to disclose only when the relationship becomes serious or when it becomes unavoidable. Just as people without ostomies don't discuss their bathroom habits on early dates, you have the right to privacy until it feels necessary.
2. Others prefer to disclose early, even on the first date, to avoid investing time in someone who might not be comfortable with an ostomy. Early honesty can help identify partners who are not a good fit.

- You can gauge a potential partner’s openness by asking general questions about health or personal challenges. Their responses can indicate whether they are open-minded before you share your own situation.

- When you decide to bring it up, keep the explanation simple, positive, and reassuring. Emphasize that the ostomy doesn’t control your life or prevent you from doing anything.

- If your ostomy is related to cancer, be mindful that mentioning cancer can sometimes cause concern. Decide whether to share that part of your story immediately or later, based on their sensitivity.

- Many people are primarily focused on their own stories and may not delve into your medical details unless you invite them to, so you can choose how much to share.

- Trust your instincts. Often, you'll just know when the time feels right for each individual situation.
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