Hey everyone...I just finished my last IV chemo treatment 2 days ago. I have two weeks of pills to finish and then my chemo is over. I should feel so excited right now. But the only thing I can think about is "now what?" What if the chemo didn't do it's job? What if it comes back somewhere else? I know better than this. I am a Bible-believing Christian and I know that my very existance is completely in God's hands. But for some reason, this is really in my head. All I keep thinking about is having to wait 3 months for blood tests to see where things are. That just seems like so long. How do you not obsess about this?
This all happened so quickly in my life. I went from having a j-pouch for 20 years to having a ruptured J-pouch, to we are removing the j-pouch and you are getting a permanent ostomy to oh, by the way, when we removed the pouch, we found stage 2 rectal cancer, to being released from the hospital and less than a month later, starting chemo. I've been on chemo the last 5 months. I'm just shook right now. My thoughts are all over the place.
Can anyone relate? Am I losing my mind here?