Looking for support and information

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slickwillie
Hi,
My boring story and beware I cannot spell, sorry.
I started having horrible intestinal pains right after the holidays (Christmas, New Year's) of this year. I had been diagnosed with IBS in the past, so I just figured that was what my problem was. However, it continued through early April, and knowing that Crohn's runs in my family, my primary doctor sent me for a colonoscopy. When I went to have that done, I was running a fever of 101 (infection?). They went ahead and attempted it, but could not get in. They sent me on my merry way, and within hours after getting home, I was in a squad to our local hospital's ER. The next day, I was having emergency surgery and woke up with my colostomy.
I was lucky enough to have the finest surgeon in our area perform the procedure, and for the last 3 months, he has been very honest with me about my chances of a successful reversal. "Difficult, if not impossible."
Yesterday, I had a colonoscopy, and he also went through my stoma. He sounds more optimistic after that but said he will have to use a "stabilizer," and they tend to leak more than hand-sewn reversals. Can anybody enlighten me about this and what to expect as far as recovery time from my reversal? I spent 9 days in the hospital and missed 8 weeks of work after the initial surgery. And frankly, I am still not back to 100%.
I have not mentally accepted my bag at this point because I have had hope for a reversal. However, if he can't reverse it, then I shall change my mindset to acceptance.
I just need feedback, info, and support from y'all.
Thank you in advance.
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three
Hi slickwillie,

I originally posted the following story in a forum on J-pouches; however, parts of this story may help you with the decisions you may need to make.

This story is about the courage of my daughter, and it begins when she was 9 as she watched her mother die from a brain tumour, and it paradoxically has both unhappy and happy endings depending on where you end the story I share this story because it illustrates the importance of trusting your own "inner knowing" even if it sometimes seems contrary to some professional opinions:

In 2006, after 2 years of mis-diagnosis and rectum prolapse and unbelievable pain, my 16 year old daughter was correctly diagnosed with FAP (she's the only one in our family with that gene). After an 8 hour surgery to remove her colon and rectum, she awoke with a J-pouch. She was really happy, as before the surgery, she had told the surgeon that she would never again leave her house if she awoke with a bag. And of course, the surgeon was really happy to see how happy she was.

Days passed and the hospital wanted to release her but she was not wanting to eat. On the tenth day, a few hours before she was scheduled to go home, she complained of intense pain but her nurse thought she was only being difficult, and he ignored her requests for something more to ease the pain. When she rang for help in walking to the bathroom, no one came and she eventually tried to get there on her own, falling and hitting her head in the process. By the time I arrived at the hospital to drive her home, she was in intense pain and asked me to shoot her in the head so she would no longer feel the pain. She became weaker and weaker, she said her knees felt numb, an X-ray was taken, and based on what was seen, the anesthesiologist was paged to return to the hospital, and her room filled with frantic nurses, doctors, and two surgeons. It appeared she was dying as they rushed her down the hall, banging her bed into the walls on their way to the operating room.

After the operation the anesthesiologist told me my daughter may, in 2 or 3 weeks time, have memories of the two hour operation; and the two surgeons, with exhausted looks on their faces, told me they rarely felt nervous, but this time they had as they opened her up to remove the J-pouch and 80 cm of twisted and dead intestine.

My daughter awoke in ICU with a permanent ileostomy and a breathing tube down her throat that didn't allow her to verbalize how she felt, but she was able to scrawl something on a piece of paper which I still have, "Yesterday I could hear everyone talking in the operating room, and I could feel them cutting me open, but I could not open my eyes or move or say anything to stop them."

One week later the doctors told my daughter and I that she had a clot in her portal vein, another clot in a groin vein where an IV had been, and fluid in her pleural cavity and abdomen. A specialist was brought in from another hospital to place stints in the portal vein.

A few days later a doctor informed us that he mistakenly punctured her liver when he was placing a cathetor to drain the pleural cavity, and my daughter cries as she tells the nurse she will never be able to complete her training as a lifeguard 4 weeks later she is sent home weighing 80 pounds (40 pounds less than a few months earlier).

In the months to come we sometimes returned to the emergency ward in the middle of particularily painful nights, and my daughter ended up on several operating tables to have a stoma revision, a cyst removed from one of her ovaries, and a 6 cm desmoid tumor removed from her abdominal wall.

Over the years my daughter has grown to accept her destiny, and her ongoing courage made my emergency temporary colostomy operation for a mis-diagnosed blockage in 2008 seem trivial since that time we have often laughed together at some of our shared adventures as ostomates, and I smile inside whenever I see the puzzled looks on my doctors' faces as I try to explain why I do not want a reversal.
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weewee

Awesome story it is, and oh yeah, dad and daughter time.

Past Member
Three, this is one true life story that I needed days to think on. I can see how she feels and also how you feel. We love our children so much that no sacrifice is too good or too much for them. I think you should win the Father of the Year Award, as even in the Vatican we don't have saints that have your courage and love. And even above all this story, it is just plain and simple pure love. I have some of the kindest friends in the whole world who would risk anything for a child or even a spouse, but you even use art to explain the love you have for your lovely child. When you write, for some reason it brings me to tears, as you are such a kind and gentle person and not something I see very often. And believe me, I stop and smell the roses, so I wouldn't miss that. A lot of people don't like it when someone is that self-sacrificing, but to me it is a beautiful rainbow and one awesome miracle. Three, I knew you were a special person when I saw that beautiful picture of cool art, but even you went beyond my expectations with your kindness and love. Keep your faith and miracles will follow. Love, Jenny.
slickwillie

Wow, thanks so much for sharing that with me.
Very moving. You and your little angel have a very special relationship and that is awesome!
I wish nothing but the best for the two of you and thanks again for sharing that story!!!

Bill

 
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