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Posted by Bosco, on Thu Aug 19, 2010 7:20 pm
The dark funk is back.  Do any of you guys do this?  I have read a lot on here about how common depression is after surgery, and I went through that.  Then I was GREAT--for a couple of months.  But now I am 8 months out and it has returned.  I NEVER had this in my life before my surgery.  (Complete resection of colon/rectum due to Crohn's)  Very frustrated that I feel like I have lost control of my life and nothing seems to be "right".  Taking my meds, stoma is acting okay, but between my ears I am a mess. Is this going to happen over and over?  This web site has been so beneficial and I read a lot even though I might not post much.  Your thoughts and experiences are valued.
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Thu Aug 19, 2010 8:40 pm
Have you talked to your doctor about it? Sometimes you can go on an antidepressant for a short time until you get through the depression.  Talking to a counselor can help also so you can find out what is making you feel this way.  I work in a mental health office. Don't feel you're alone. We have people coming to us from all walks of life.  Just don't let it go too long so it takes over your life. Good luck!!
Reply by J.J, on Thu Aug 19, 2010 9:20 pm
Sorry that your a little down Sad
Have you thought about joining a ostomy support group?

Take care,
Reply by Bosco, on Thu Aug 19, 2010 9:33 pm
There are none in my area.  This forum has been my best "support group"
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Thu Aug 19, 2010 9:35 pm
the good news is that you are perfectly normal....who wouldnt be a little down after such an life changing ordeal. give it a little time..once you get back in the swing of things you can and will have a happy, healthy life. you just got a second chance...i know a bunch of people in the graveyard who would trade situations with you..............think positive and associate with others who do the same.......
Reply by Grammybec, on Thu Aug 19, 2010 10:35 pm
I know how you feel...I had my surgery on March 27 due to a burst colon, and while I was in the ICU, my husband passed away.  Between his death and trying to learn to live with my new "friend" (stoma), I find myself going in and out....I feel some of this is normal, but if it gets too out of control, seeking professional help would be the best solution.  My friends and family are very concerned about me going into a deep depression, so they panic if I am home bound for too long.  It's tough to go from a very active live style, to one that takes some planning.  I have had alot of "explosions," so I find I don't plan anything in the morning, just in case.  Even though I still can't believe what has happened to me, I know life goes one and I have to pull myself up by the boot straps and go on living...sure isn't easy sometimes, I have to admit, but as long as I keep this in mind, it does help me out of my funks. I hope this is a temporary set back for you and you are back to feeling great soon.  But if it continues, don't let it get it out of professional help.  It's still been a short time for both of us, so I'm sure it will take a little longer for us to get used to our new life.  Good luck and keep us informed as to how you are feeling.
Reply by loren4life, on Thu Aug 19, 2010 10:48 pm
This 'dark funk' or depression can and does affect 1 in 4 individuals to a meaureable extend.  And it is no fun, not fair and I wish it weren't an issue for anyone.  But perfectly healthy individuals, including many of us, have had to deal with some sort of this issue.

And, surgery can change things, like turning on/off switches inside of us.  I had heard of that with women having babies but my taste buds and blood pressure did weird things after my surgeries.  

Getting professional help, support, more or the correct, helpful kind of friends is part of progress.  Doing nothing is likely the worst thing you can do

Good luck!  Keep talking about it.  There are solutions. Loren
Reply by bearcat, on Thu Aug 19, 2010 11:15 pm
i know it might sound strange, but i have always considered the "bag" as a life saver. i think back and think--where would i be without it--. so the bag didn't change my life, it gave my life back to me so i could go on and do the things i want to do in life. the bag is your life rope, but you have to grab it... also if possible you shouldn't worry about what if, why me, or how come, but be happy you can do what you want.............
Reply by rmgilby, on Thu Aug 19, 2010 11:48 pm
I've been there - you are not alone. (I don't know if this helps you, but it always helped me to remember, "I am not alone.") Please remember that antidepressants are not "the magic fix." True, they can help, but they won't make your problems magically seem unimportant. At best, antidepressants can only contribute to your "recovery" 30%. The other 70% is usually achieved through counseling therapy. For me, finding a medium that I could express myself through helped immensely. Art worked for me, but music, acting, writing (there really are many many options that I didn't list) can be helpful, too. I truly wish you well and hope that your mental storm clouds are lifted soon.
Reply by pundy145, on Fri Aug 20, 2010 2:29 am
hey bosco, have you thought about creating your own support group, I'm sure you'll find that there are some other people near you that are in a similar situation or have been in a similar situation. I'm not familiar with rules and regulations over there but you could try getting the place you purchase your bags from to let other people in your area know your creating a support group or you could even contact the registry, if you have one there, for people with bowel cancer, cancer council or crohns. Even contacting the hospitals and see if they cant give out some information to patients who are about to end up with a bag. failing all that you could look up other support groups within your state and see if they have anyone within there group whos willing to give phone support to you.
   hope you start feeling better man, and theres quite a few regulars in the chatroom. There always willing to talk and have alot of interesting information their willing to part with.
Reply by wookie2005, on Fri Aug 20, 2010 6:20 am
Hi There,
Dont for once think that your alone through all of this as your not, many of us have gone through or going through it right now! and i am one of them going through it, i had my surgery on june 30th and i couldnt be happier that i feel alive again, but there just seems to be something nibbling away inside that makes me tick and i have good days and bad ones, i have spoken with my GP about it and she has put me onto a low dose of antidepressiants and has also refered me to get some counciling, as it always helps to talk with someone who isnt close to you, its also hard to talk with family about whats bothering you! i met with my surgeon on Monday to arrange my next surgery as i am having the rectum removed i havent been sleeping for weeks leading upto that appointment but now its over and i know when its going to happen im sleeping again, and its good, but i then get teary i am more teary when its that time of month but that is normal. I just take each day as it comes and at the momant i am having more good days than bad, but i need to slow down as i am doing to much i have to keep occupied otherwise thats when i get depressed i start thinking about how close i was to death, but i have been given this 2nde chance to live. i am only 22 and was diagnoised with bowel cancer 1 week after my birthday.... i had emergency surgery on the 30th June. My hospital and Surgeon are just great i couldnt have asked for a better group and even my Stoma Nurse every situation or problem i have she will always try to solve for me:)

I hope you get better and i promise there is really a light at the end of the tunnel, but for now its just a bloody long tunnel at that!

Keep your chin up, we all thinking of you.

Wookie2005! xxxx
Reply by lexus1, on Fri Aug 20, 2010 7:59 am
hiya Bosco. How small is your town? Mine is so small there is just one other with anything close to my ileostomy. (she has an urostomy) That is why I am glad to have found this site full of brothers and sisters who are going throught the same issues, including dark days. You are not alone here!  Your mind is still wrapping around the fact that you have recently been through a life-changing operation. Acceptance of the surgery and acceptance of your lifestyle changes are two different things hon, give yourself more time, get someone professional to talk to. Did you have a stoma-nurse before/during/after the surgery?  If yes, then call her; Tell her how you are feeling, and also stay with us here and compare stories...wishing you the best, lex
Reply by three, on Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:21 pm
Hi Bosco,

You say "The dark funk is back." and "Very frustrated that I feel like I have lost control of my life and nothing seems to be "right"." and "...but between my ears I am a mess.".

Those three statements illustrate how close you are to a simple shift that will connect you to the experience you want to feel — I'll contact you so we can discuss a few "shift" strategies.

Take care,

Last edited by three on Sun Aug 22, 2010 1:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
Reply by lottagelady, on Fri Aug 20, 2010 4:30 pm
Hi Bosco .... the black cloud descends on me too from time to time, my head is also a mess as I feel like I have had no control now for years, and I still do not know the final outcome of how I will end up, so you are not alone there ....

Three - what is the 'simple shift' because I could do with it too? !!

Rach xx
Reply by three, on Fri Aug 20, 2010 5:34 pm
Hi Rach,

I wish I could hit a few keys on this keyboard and have the perfect words appear on the screen so that everyone who has not experienced the "simple shift" could understand it after they read those words; however, words cannot accomplish such a feat anymore than they can transfer the taste of a one-of-a-kind flavor to someone who wants to taste it.

Fortunately there are a few ways words can help — I'll contact you to clarify what I mean.


Last edited by three on Mon Aug 23, 2010 1:11 am; edited 1 time in total
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