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THE RIGHT QUESTION

Posted by three, on Sun Oct 31, 2010 1:30 am
Sometimes we all have to deal with close-minded people — this video illustrates the fascinating way "the right question" can open a closed mind:




At this point in time, I can't think of a close-minded attitude related to ostomies, and then suggest a question that might help, but perhaps someone else can.
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Mon Nov 01, 2010 1:55 am
Close-Minded Attitude: "That's so gross, you walk around with a bag of _ _ _ _ hanging on your side!"

Possible Question 1: "Where do you keep your _ _ _ _ ?"

Possible Question 2: "Do you feel it's less gross to walk around with the _ _ _ _ still inside you?"
Reply by bagnannieannie, on Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:02 am
I don't quite understand the camparison to having a bag and sexuality but I'm prouder of my "crap sack" every day.  When you have to stand in line at WalMart for at least 25 minutes waiting to get checked out, I can just stand there, without notice, have the greatest crap of a lifetime and not lose my place in line, OH! Man!  How great having an ostomy is!  Surely, without it, I wouldn't be here to have the opportunity to get to stand in any checkout lane!!--Nancy
Reply by Pinky, on Mon Nov 01, 2010 12:11 pm
Nancy - YOU ARE A GEM!       Very Happy
Reply by Pinky, on Mon Nov 01, 2010 12:16 pm
Another - YOU ARE A GEM AS WELL!!     Very Happy

What great attitudes.

I remember the exact moment I knew for sure I was unquestionably "straight". It was my junior year of college and one of my best friends revealed at a dance that she was gay, and would I dance with her.  Of course, I had the intuition all along she was gay, but when she asked me to dance I was unable to rise to the occasion.

Maybe that is missing the point but just thought I'd add that to generate some discussion (of when we feel we may have failed to act bravely or even kindly).     Smile
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Mon Nov 01, 2010 12:51 pm
                                 
bagnannieannie wrote:
I don't quite understand the camparison to having a bag and sexuality but I'm prouder of my "crap sack" every day.  When you have to stand in line at WalMart for at least 25 minutes waiting to get checked out, I can just stand there, without notice, have the greatest crap of a lifetime and not lose my place in line, OH! Man!  How great having an ostomy is!  Surely, without it, I wouldn't be here to have the opportunity to get to stand in any checkout lane!!--Nancy


  Nancy, you rock girl!  Thanks for making my morning!
Reply by swiffer, on Mon Nov 01, 2010 1:13 pm
I have come to the conclusion that you are born gay and not turned gay. My {ex}wifes brother which i knew when her and I started dating at age 16 and he was maybe 10 was just a little brother to both of us.No signs of being anything but a straight guy but then again i was not thinking about his sex life. After he graduated high school and then collage he got a job in Florida  and decided before he left to COME OUT to everyone that did not already know including myself. I was first shocked then excepted it { took time}  knowing that i always thought he was a very good person all his life. Yes i had to except it in my mind because he was the first gay person i had known personally but since then i have meet others and my first thoughts are of my brother-in law and what a good person he is.
No one can live in this world and be close minded. If you do i think it would drive you crazy with hate , indecision,and unhappiness.
Just my thoughts , don't judge me. Well you can if you want just keep an open mind about it.
Reply by three, on Mon Nov 01, 2010 11:56 pm
Nancy ~

The few times I've been in a Wallmart store, I've noticed the lines were long with most people looking grumpy, and only a few smiling, and now you've got me thinking: perhaps the happy ones are ostomates!  What a great conversation starter!
Past Member
Reply by Past Member, on Tue Nov 02, 2010 12:01 am
Dear Nancy,

Your point-of-view is hilarious.  You should do stand-up comedy and/or post a monologue on YouTube.
Reply by IamSam, on Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:15 am
Great video! I have asked that exact same question of my religiously motivated, highly opinionated, and closed minded family members and friends concerning their views on homosexuality. I always seem to get a different answer than the video interviewer did, "Well....I was born straight and so were they (gays), the only difference is that they choose to be gay!". The folks in the video were not from the bible belt.

I may be wrong but I don't think that there is a prejudice against Ostomates that compares to that of homosexuality. Ostomies, like prosthetic limbs, may make some people uncomfortable and on a few occasions repulse those lacking the intestinal fortitude, pun intended, to stomach the idea of a stoma or feces/urine in a bag on their side, but most can accept them. I doubt the day will come when having an Ostomy will disqualify you from marriage or adopting a child. Unless, of course, your gay or lesbian and happen to have an Ostomy.

Nancy - When I travel alone in my car I can hook up to a drainage system that allows me to drive until the gas tank runs dry! No bathroom breaks! I can knock back as much liquid refreshment as I can tolerate and just keep on driving! I laugh at those poor folks who have to stop for pee breaks! I also have a set up that allows me to discretely and covertly drain my bag while I ride my bike!
How great it is to have an Ostomy! I also will be checking out smiling folks in the line at Wally World from now on!
Reply by mrm247, on Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:49 am
When I first got my stoma my brother rang me and said that i could go to see people and poo on their sofas!!

I am also a teacher and find it very amusing when my pouch fills in the middle of a lesson, the kids have no idea but it makes me giggle!

But back to the choosing issue - I actually chose my ostomy, I have what my surgeon refers to as a 'redundant bowel'.  Because of a birth condition (saccrococcygeal terratoma) I have struggled with my bowels all my life.  My ileostomy has given me a completly new lease of life, I now don't smell, I know when I will need a toilet and I can buy tickets to events and actually know I will be able to go!!

My ileostomy, Alison, is 15 weeks old today and every day I am thankful that I chose to be an ostomate.

I am now starting to tell people what happened over the summer and so far I have been lucky and had no negative reactions but I am hoping I will be strong enough to deal with it when it happens.


Last edited by mrm247 on Tue Nov 02, 2010 6:40 am; edited 1 time in total
Reply by KennyT, on Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:56 am
I am not exactly sure about when I realised I was straight, as you say, but I always knew I had an affection for the the opposite gender and I could never get it right in my head that it was 'The right thing'.  I still struggle to comprehend what that right thing is and why.

Maybe it is just me but try as hard as I can I cannot begin to equate the stigma that can be applied to homosexuals and people who have ostomies. It is just extremely disconcerting to me that many individuals have such a negative view toward human beings who may be different to them. But if I was truthful the feeling towards me as a person with an ostomy, would not even approach the antipathy I presume I would feel from others as someone who had the gall to love another of their own sex. So I have no answer to your question here. I am a heterosexual but I often think to myself that I am ashamed of the closed minded attitudes of many that I know and feel a great remorse for them.

Another great conversation starter three. Well done.
Reply by jjjnettie, on Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:04 pm
I was waiting in my doctors surgery, and got to talking to the receptionist.
I bought the subject around to colostomies, and she stated quite firmly that she would rather die than have one. (she didn't know about mine)
My comeback, I would be dead if I didn't have one.
She tried to back peddle by saying that it was different, I was old and had kids. But that she'd still rather die as she was so young.
Stupid bytch. I bet if she was given a choice of a slow painful death from butt cancer or  life with an ostomy, she'd choose life.
Reply by panther, on Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:04 pm
I have a met a few people over the years that say they would rather die than have one of those things. The first time I heard it was the day after my surgery from a nurse. When anyone says it now I just pull my top up and say it's full of s**t like you.
Reply by groom4u, on Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:05 pm
You go girl!!!!!
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