Paraprosdokian Sentences

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gutenberg
Paraprosdokian sentences
A paraprosdokian (from Greek "-", meaning "beyond" and
" '", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the
latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a
way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the
first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect,
sometimes producing an anticlimax. Some paraprosdokians not only
change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double
meaning, creating a syllepsis.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I
stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and
beat you with experience.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not
screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening" and then
proceed to tell you why it isn't.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many
is research.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes
a whole box to start a campfire?
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they
can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them
fish.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that
you don't need it.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
to skydive twice.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way
you look forward to the trip.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if
you wish they were.
A bus is a vehicle that travels twice as fast when you run after
it as it does when you are in it.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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Katman
Brilliant!!! Thank you for maing my day!
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SheliaBaby
Hahaaha....yes they were.....but it's too early in the morning to make me think that much!
Shelia
nessy
Good one
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that
you don't need it.
I'll get out of debt , even if I have to borrow from every bank in town.

Cheers Bob
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