I would like to add.....after having an Ileostomy for so many years (33 years), I am aware of the opinion of the majority of non-ostomist men out there.¬†¬†Ive heard jokes and gasps of horror if the subject of "COLOSTOMY BAGS" comes up.¬†¬†Comments such as "how vile", or "gosh I'd kill myself if I had to have one of THOSE"!!¬†¬†Yes, have heard this type of comment, while talking in a group and somehow this subject comes up.¬†¬†Of course all of the group were completely unaware that they were standing right next to "one"!!
I am of the firm opinon, and no-one will move me from this...that most men out there think BAGS are ALL "Colostomy Bags"...that's the only words they know.¬†¬†The general consensus by them is that "Colostomy Bags are huge, obnoxious, smelly, vile - and to be avoided like the plague.
The best time to tell?¬†¬†Like I said...when he is REALLY hooked on you...not after a few dances and a kiss on the dance floor hun.¬†¬†I don't know what appliance you are wearing, but I can dance as close as a guy likes....and he would not feel a thing.¬†¬†I wear the new DANSAC Novalife, which sits LOW on the tummy.¬†¬†It is SO flat, with a very slim FLAT Fastener.¬†¬†As I said in my previous comment, I wear the tightest dresses and jeans...and even low rise jeans now, as these DANSAC beauties do not show on the waist.¬†¬†Can't feel Ive got it on....and even if you run your hand over my tummy, you may not feel it...and certainly wont feel it through my trousers or jeans.
So....my reiterated advice...WAIT.....don't tell him until he is really into you....and you will surely know when that is.....NOT when he just wants to get you into bed!!
My timing for these events?¬†¬†On a cosy evening with a few glasses of wine (EACH).¬†¬†It usually takes me over an hour....with "ums and ahhs", and end by saying "I have to wear a dressing on my tummy".¬†¬†This sounds SO much better than "hey! I gotta BAG"!!.¬†¬†Their general response is?.."do you mean a BAG"? and I say..."Similar".¬†¬†This is generally accepted immediately, and you can almost hear the indescernable sigh of relief from him, when you say "similar".¬†¬†It is not a lie...it just softens the "blow" for him (and me) and as time goes on, it will just be "accepted" slowly and gently - and as he realised that "BAGS" are nothing like the "horror stories" or expectation or perception of them that he may have had.
OK, I'm a coward....not coming out with the truth straight up front....but this has worked for me every time....and all my relationships have been LONG TERM ones.
What about "Intimacy", you ask?¬†¬†IF he likes you enough.....he will wait for the "ultimate intimate event" and will probably respect you more for waiting.....
I hate it when a guy comments "you are beautiful" because I am thinking in my mind..."wait till you get a load of this"....thinking tongue in cheek of my little secret.¬†¬†Oh yes, I have thought...he will come to¬†¬†know....but not yet, not yet.