I agree with you Nicole I too am new to this site and browse quite a lot and have learned quite a lot also. I have only had my ileostomy for just on 4 months and have many ups downs. I have several friends but don't know anyone personally that are in the same situation as I am with a ileostomy. So it was great to come across this site. I have had many days when I've just wanted to stay in bed and just sleep sleep.
I think I have finally come to accepting my situation, with the help of my therapist whom I've been seeing fairly regularly. The therapy was originally for a car accident I had nearly 4 years ago when my then second husband blacked out for a few seconds and we hit a tree and my femur went through my pelvis and was shattered. I was lucky to survive and had a wonderful surgeon who was able to put me back together again, though he told me later that they were nearly going to stitch me back up again without doing anything because I was in such a mess. However I get around with an elbow crutch now but at least I can walk, though I suspect that arthritis is beginning to set in. I am in constant pain and live on pain killers.
Less than 12 months later May 08 I was diagnosed with anal cancer which was a huge shock, surgery was not an option because of the location of the tumour, so I had 6 weeks of radiotherapy and had 2 weekly rounds of chemo, which did work as the cancer had gone.
But I found gradually over time that I had was having lots of trouble with using my bowel and had lots lots of pain trying to go etc etc, eventually it was found that the radiotherapy I had left lots of scarring hence making it more difficult to use my bowel. On on it went it depressed me so much I needed something done, I was already in pain with my hip that was hard enough to live with. To cut a very long story a little shorter, I elected to have an ileostomy as after many many tests it was found that I had an extremely slow moving large bowel, and would never empty properly etc etc.
Hence last November I had the ileostomy. My husband and I had separated a long time before that, he did help me through the cancer treatment and things went downhill from there, he was lucky as he had no injuries from the car accident. And I remember him saying at the time after the cancer treatment that he would never have been able to cope if I had to have a colonoscopy or anything drastic like that if the cancer returned. We mutually agreed to separate and I now live interstate being near my adult children and my teenager who lives with her father (my first husband). I have 5 lovely gradndkids all under 3 whom I see regularly. They are what make my life worth living. Everyday life can be very difficult at times and just to do the shopping is a huge day out for me with my extra disability. I do try not to consider my ileostomy as a disability I tire very easily and have some very bad nights when I have scary thoughts going through my head about wishing my life had ended at "that tree" And I am on anti depressants which had to be increased several months ago.
Well I think I've vented enough it was only meant to be a short reply so I am so sorry to have waffled on. I too need friends and support from people that can understand what we have to live with.
Nice to have met you. Regards Jenny