As a recent ostomate, I've been thinking a lot about how best to explain my situation to people. One problem, of course, is it's difficult for others to get their minds around the situation. This seems to be a realm where language can be incredibly important.
For example, the term "pouch" just sounds better than "bag" to me - I've seen others express the same sentiment on this site. And to my ear, "appliance" just sounds like the euphemism it is.
When explaining the procedure to friends and curious coworkers, I've used such terms as "external plumbing", "sh**bag", "getting a soft serve nozzle installed", etc. I think a little bit of humor makes it easier for people to accept.
But seriously, sometimes I wonder if putting an ostomy in terms of a "prosthetic" or "artificial" colon/bladder/etc would be helpful to the conversation. That's essentially all it is. Instead of waste emptying into our colon (or bladder), it empties into a pouch.
And I'd be willing to bet a well-kept, well-functioning pouch is actually cleaner than the average butthole.
Again, I'll mention I'm a recent ostomate. I might just be naive (still haven't had to broach the topic in a dating situation - ug haha). But in my limited experience, I've found using this approach to explain, as well as having a positive attitude about the situation, is pretty effective. I tell people not to feel sorry for the fact that I have an ileostomy, but to feel sorry for all the crap I had to go through before!
What do you think? Does this make any sense, or am I just rambling? I'm hoping to get a conversation on language going here that can help people who are trying to explain ostomy to others.
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