Let's start by saying that I don't have, never had, and never will have a body part that is worth my life. Given the choice of "We remove this or you die of cancer," that's not even the beginning of a question for me or for my husband.
That said...when I had my urostomy a couple months ago (and it's taken about this long to be able to assess the damage), to save my life the surgeon also removed my uterus and, because of where in the bladder the tumor was, a substantial part of my vagina. Not to put too fine a point on it, I'm a 10-year-old girl again.
Last week when I visited my gynecologist and, well, it could have gone better. There are things we are going to try, I'm willing to try pretty much anything, but she didn't seem overwhelmed with optimism. And if these measures (topical HRT, dilators) DO work, it'll be months at best.
I don't have it bad in my life at all, really. A husband who isn't going anywhere, a very aggressive form of bladder cancer that was caught and fully removed at a very early stage. But I'm not kidding, this is a serious loss for me. I handle my stress by joking when I can and ahead of the urostomy, I quipped, "Hey, I'll still be a woman AND I'll be able to write my name in the snow." Now it doesn't feel that way anymore. This isn't about my interest in sex, or my husband's desire for it. Not really. It's about a body blow to my self-esteem, my self-image, and grieving a loss no matter how necessary it was.
I've always heard that when you can't think of any more to say, it's time to shut up. This seems like a good time for that.
Past Member
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First off, this is a pretty cool site with 33,089 members. Get inside and you will see.
We're not all about ostomy. Everything is being discussed in the forums.
It's a very special community, embracing all ages and backgrounds. People are honest and truly care.
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Create an account and you will be amazed.
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Hollister
Are you a caregiver for a child with an ostomy? In the summer months, this can become more challenging, thanks to heat, humidity, water activities, and travel plans.
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Learn more about caring for children with an ostomy on vacation.
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Hollister
You've checked off everything on your travel checklist. So, now it's time to pack your ostomy supplies and anything else you need. Do it the right way with these smart tips.