I am quite new to this site, and have not posted very much, doing a lot of reading to get the feel of things and people on this board. For the most part I have found it a positive place to get advice, and encouragement which we all need from time to time.
I have had my illeostomy my ENTIRE life my first surgery was at 10 weeks of age! So I know a thing or two or three.
AAirman, congratualtions on posting on here, good for you. I have only one concern, and that is your perception of yourself, "more of a sub unit"??? Really? No your not. Not at all, you are a human being, capable of loving and being loved. Being gay in no way makes you a sub unit or different. You have a heart like everyone else, you have arms, legs, hands feet, eyes, ears, just like everyone else. So you like men, big deal. It's only a big deal to those who make it a big deal.
As I've said I've had my illieosotomy my whole life, I am a 42 year old straight woman, I know you were seeking to connect with gay men to gain some answers to questions that you have, and I hope you will get those answers. If you have questions that I can help you with I will be more than happy to help you. I understand there will be some that I may not be able to.
I want you to know that my best friend is a gay male, who I have recently told about my ostomy. I hid it from him for several years, and due to some traveling that we were going to have to do together for a conference I felt it only fair to inform him of my medical condition should something happen.
In revealing this to him, he has seen how much I struggle with body image issues, and living with an Ostomy. He has been incredibly kind, supportive, honest, with me. We have a very close relationship and he has asked some very good questions in a very sensitive manner. He has managed to help me find some humor in my situation and come to terms with other issues with body image that I struggle with.
I have never thought of him as a sub unit because of his sexuality, I think of him as my friend, someone I can trust, and confide in about anything including very intimate and personal matters relating to having an Ostomy with out the fear of judgement or ridicule. He is every bit a man just as you are.
I understand how it feels to have an illieostomy and not knowing how people are going to react to it, I've had my heart broken more times than not over it, and I can empathize with being gay and your feelings of being different as you described yourself. It is irrelevant to me what your sexuality is, I understand completely why you included it in your post, and hope you are able to get the answers you seek.
I know I am just another post on here, but I am a member of this site you can feel comfortable asking questions of about having an illieostomy and if you have questions about being gay with an illieostomy if I can help I will try it's the best I can offer you.