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Sex now hurts

Posted by vanessavy, on Tue Sep 24, 2013 9:14 pm
I would ask about Estrace cream. I know you said you can't take it BUT they usually give it to women who have had hysterectomies, according to my Gyno at Cleveland Clinic.

It is very low estrogen and is very soothing in general. Helps the inside vagina wall.

I was also told wild sex is never going to be in my future so to get over that. This gyno I now have at Cleveland Clinic gave me sex tips. She explained doggy style and missionary will be the worst since nothing really stretches now and the cervix gets hit. Do you still have your cervix? Anyway she told me to try having sex on top from now on. It elongates so it helps with a penis in there.

Another option is to go to a urogynecologist and start doing pelvic floor therapy and other things for the vagina and pelvic floor to loosen things up. Physical therapy for your privates basically! I did this before but for my bladder control due to IC.

I don't have private messaging on here since I am not a paid member. You can check out my blog if you want www.arsetopia.com  
there is also a contact form there and you can email me off of that. Glad to chat about FAP crap!
Reply by Cecille, on Mon Nov 24, 2014 8:26 pm

We used to have  yacht called Firecracker.  She is still around somewhere in the English Channel and belongs to someone else now.  She was a South Coast One Design, No. 69!!!  She was completely refurbished by her new owner - spent about £35,000 doing her up and now she is as good as new. I hope your name is a good omen and that you too will end up as good as new, if you are not like that already.  I can't do any more sailing now - it's too difficulty with an ostomy at sea.....

Reply by pembedata, on Thu Jun 04, 2015 8:16 am

Hello there, I was reading your message about your vagina being too short. I also used to think that after my surgeries.

I had my rectum removed and anus sawn so with permanent iliostomy.  After surgery and when I thought I was ready, my husband and I "tested" the new set up.

I had a short vagina ( or so I thought) as husband kept hitting the pubic bone and almost got injured. He obviously didn't want to upset me, but I felt terrible.  He   sort of found any excuse to postpone sex for a while. And that is so out of character, so I had to find out why it happened the way it did.  I then started to look for solutions to stretch my vagina. Trying toys and "discovered" by using a dildo that my vagina hadn't shrunk but fallen back so to have a "comfortable slide in" my husband had to find the right angle to align with the vagina and avoid being "grated" by the pubic bone if the vagina shifted and closed. The pain we experienced only happened when misaligned. The specialist nurse at the hospital said that spooning from behind was the best position as it allowed for the correct alignment. 

We tried all sorts of positions, apparently someone said reverse cowgirl would work, it doesn't! We both got injured.

So in summary, both my husband and I have always been very sexual creatures and tried all sorts of things and now there is only one position that works for the both of us as already mentioned and even then, he runs the risk of injury if slighly misaligned (wild sex is sadly out of the question), but I feel great and my vagina certainly hasn't shrunk, just fell back. Obviously if spooning is the only position (we've discovered so far) that seems to work, additional clitorial stimulation is necessary so get the "full experience".

Good luck experimenting.  I had to get my husband to lose certain inhibitions. It wasn't easy especially in light of all my scars and the bag. But denying each other sex was just going to make us feel even worse (and me completely inadequate) so we had to try everything we could. Hopefully that advice helps someone. 

Reply by Newbie Dana, on Wed Nov 25, 2015 2:47 pm

I know this is long after the other comments, and maybe nobody is following this topic any more. But for women who hit the magic age of menopause - even without the ostomy - you will be going through the SAME issues! Premarin cream helps, artificial moisture helps, and toys to help stretch things - and don't knock that understanding hubby with a sense of humor and lots of love! And remember, there's LOTS of ways to satisfy each other without the actual act (which now hurts).

Reply by vanessa1970, on Thu Nov 26, 2015 4:34 am

So true! And keep in mind there are always new things to try!

Reply by kokomo, on Sun Dec 20, 2015 2:55 am

lol your comment had me laughing. It's good to have a good laugh because it takes me to reality . Thanks for the laugh, kokomo

Reply by walderpeee, on Sat Sep 14, 2019 4:07 pm
tim1948 wrote:
Sounds like a scar tissue issue related to removal of rectum.  Did u do any radiation b4 ur surgery?


I had RADIATION for ANAL cancer & it DOES shrink up the vagina & also maybe do damage to the urethra. You have been through ALOT-I can't imagine the PAIN you have during sex!!! Sad

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