Hi Marc
I'm 28, nearly 29, and have been through something pretty similar. I'm now 10 years down the road with a permanent ileostomy and an ex after 6 years together!! I am lucky to say that the two are not related!!
When I became single at 27, I felt that no one was ever going to want to be with me ever again because of how different I was!!
When I was ready post-breakup, I met quite a few different men who all had different reactions and a different take on how they felt about it. Some were honest, some not so much, but I always knew why some guys never called again, even if we had not even gotten that far into things!!
I then moved to Saudi (I'm from Essex originally!!) vowing to earn loads of money and live a truly indulgent lifestyle with good friends and no men involved!!
All I will say is no matter what you plan, life will always come along and change them!! I am very pleased to say I am now in a relationship with an amazing Egyptian guy who is a little younger than me but is wise beyond his years!!
I even used my stoma to try and scare him off at first!! It didn't work as he had a friend who had bowel cancer very young, so he knew all about 'my baggage'!!
The reason I'm telling you all of this is that I have been where you are right now!! Who knows, I may well be there again one day, but whatever you do, don't give up!!
There are millions of single people in the world with and without bags. It doesn't define you as a person, and anyone worth spending any significant amount of time with will know this!!
When you're off the steroids, things will settle. It takes time to discover who you are and the person you have become, but believe me, you may well be pleasantly surprised by some of the people out there!! The rest of them are not worth your time or energy!!
Take care
Millie xxxxx
Hi - I recently met the man of my dreams ... on this site. We're doing great. Sometimes good things happen.
Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?
First off, this is a pretty cool site with 33,460 members. Get inside and you will see.
It's not all about ostomy. Everything is being discussed.
Many come here for advice or to give advice 🗣, others have found good friends 🤗, and there are also those who have found love 💓. Most of all, people are honest and truly care.
Privacy is very important - the website has many features that are only visible to members.
Create an account and you will be amazed.
Can I just say... Marc, I've seen your profile (and pictures) and I don't think you would have any problem finding a date.
I had a total colectomy at 25 years of age. I met my wonderful husband of 23 years after my surgery. I was feeling very insecure but healthy and ready to get on with my life. When you get off all the drugs and stabilize, I hope you feel the same.
Mark...
Way off. You will find someone. But you got to get your head in the right place. Do you introduce yourself to women as "Mark - the fun, witty smart guy"?
Or "Mark with an ostomy"... chicks dig witty fun guys. The stoma is a small side note. I don't think a woman that finds you attractive because of your personality will mind the stoma part. But you can't lead with "Mark - the Stoma guy".. Don't let the stoma define who you are. It's a part of you no doubt but not all of you... Get your head in the right place and the babes will come.....
Chin up fella had 4 beautiful ladies in my life lost 2 to cancer.
One was a model still with the 4th 11 years now.
She put a quote on Facebook once: "He might not be perfect, but he's perfect for me." And she is 11 years younger than me.
Positive thinking is all it takes.
Dave C.
Hey hun, I've got a permanent urostomy, my ex put me down etc and I've been hurt a lot due to the problems I had prior to the urostomy last month. I can relate to how you feel. I joined the group in hope to find an equal, a friend, then maybe more in the future. I'm petrified and unless you go through these ops, peeps don't have a clue. But remember, you are stronger than you realize and you will find the right one, so keep ya chin up. I'm emm by the way, always here if you want to chat or rant xx
Hi, how are you? Nice pics... I'm new to the site... I'm from Wolves and had UC for 6 years now with an ileostomy and would love to share experiences, etc.
Check out our travel tips on diet and fitness.
Hi Mark,
You are still quite young. Get yourself in order first, then worry about dating and all that. You will meet someone who cares. I know that is the usual line that is given, but it is true. But until you get yourself in the right mindset and feel better physically, you don't need the extra pressure of a relationship.
I hope you find someone eventually. Hang in there.
Oh how well I understand. I did too. It's been almost a year and I am not happy. They say you get through it and I guess you do, but it is not easy. On top of that, I lost my mom on Monday. Sad times for me. Just keep on going. It's time for good things to happen for us both J
Amazing. This forum eleven years ago had so many caring people offering excellent, encouraging advice. Sadly, most of them do not post anymore. I think it was Bob who pointed out that it has a huge attrition rate. Hopefully, the missing ones are thriving wherever they are, including the one who raised the discussion first.