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Hospital Story

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Posted by Royost, on Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:42 pm
When I was in the hospital, everything was fine during the day. But at night, when there was no background noise, machines would talk to me. The intravenous machine in particular. That damn thing would start out in the usual manner making rotating machine noises. But then it started saying things. Like-

LACK MAN IN PO      UHN UM, UHN UM
LACK MAN IN PO      UHN UM, UHN UM

It would go on like this for a few minutes, and then it would switch to

5 9 1 4      UHN UM, UHN UM

and then

JOHNEY WANTED IN FO UHN UM, UHN UM

I INE IN POTE REALLY SURE

ATN LAN TIC PIC     PURE AND SURE

I have no idea what it means. It seemed so intent on conveying to me some message that I figured I had better write it down. So, the next night, I put a yellow writing pad next to my bed before I went to sleep. Sure enough, about 2:00 in the morning, there goes that machine. Trying to tell me something. And it sounded so important.

LACK MAN IN PO      UHN UM, UHN UM
LACK MAN IN PO      UHN UM, UHN UM

With it's whole repertoire of sentences. And some new ones. So I sat up and wrote down what it was saying. I have the original if you want to see it. And now, other machines talk to me. The fan over my bed says

"WING WING DOING ITS THING,
WING WING DOING ITS THING"

when it's on low speed. When it is on high speed, it says

"POING DING,      POING DING".

Another machine says

"PUC TWU, PUC TWU

and then

FLOOP BLUE, FLOOP BLUE.

And clocks. They don't just tick tock. They

"ROCK WOCK, ROCK WOCK"

and

"BLOCK NOCK, BLOCK NOCK."

And other machines said other things.

The nurse said "Maybe we ought to take another look at the drug dosage you are getting".

I think I have got it under control now. I started talking back to the machines. I have asked them to please enunciate. (Miss Teal, my English teacher, used to say that to me.) Or shut up. They didn't improve their enunciation. And they didn't shut up. But some of them have gone back to making machine noises. Like machines are suppose to make. I can live with that.

Be careful about repeating this to anyone. They might think I have gone over the edge.

Well, I've go to go now. I hear some one - or thing- calling me.
 
Reply by Past Member, on Fri Jul 10, 2009 9:49 pm
Thank God for Morphine, eh? Smile
 
Reply by vulcanBMk2, on Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:44 am
A couple of years ago , in Hosp , On the second night after my Urostomy Op. I was in considerable pain. The night sister said I could have a Limited number of Super Strength painkillers ,so I took 2.
I started to relax to let them work, but was suprised when the Ward door opened & a doctor in a white coat & a nurse in uniform, paddled down the ward , a Metre off the floor, in an Aircraft type bright Orange , survival Rubber Dinghy!!.
No sooner had they gone than lights started flashing & Disco Music started with an assortment of people Disco Dancing on the floor & Upsidedown on the Ceiling ( Shades of Lionel Richie)
I dont remember much else untill i awoke next morning---But I had a quick look around for an orange rubber boat & a DJ...???..Nothing...Pain went & it never happened again...!!!!
 
Reply by tarababy, on Sun Jul 12, 2009 12:39 am
Hi Royost,Pete and elzie, man what a great story with them stoopid machines..I know exactly what you mean, but you said it so much better than I ever could, well done..Spat my drink everywhere when I got to the nurse coming in...I have so been there when I was coming off the morphine...I could hear a band /music playing in the distance,with fireworks going off..and sleeping on pillows on the floor cause it was more comfortable..lol...heard about it later but the night nurse wanted to take me to 6th floor...and here, thats the ward I'd rather not go.lmao..Again, cool story..
 
Reply by Past Member, on Sun Jul 12, 2009 12:49 am
ROYOST!!  OMG you're so funny!!!  LOVE this post!!  Very HappyVery Happy   Honestly, those machines do sound like they are talking and saying actual words sometimes.

More morphine please! LOL

I had to read your post again and it was just as freakin' funny the second time around!

Cheers!
 
Reply by weewee, on Sun Jul 12, 2009 5:31 am
yes that is a good story about morphine to a good tilt but for me i didnt hear anything made me sleep like a baby till the day they took it away as far as they clock i covered it up so i didnt sit there and watch time slowly creep by the nurses said i was the only one who covered the clock and it drove them crazy
 
Reply by Past Member, on Sun Jul 12, 2009 9:29 am
The drug that made me crazy was Darvocet. Apparently, I didn't know I was allergic to it. I had a very vivid nightmare one night that I was having dinner with Hitler and Mao. I remember waking up in a panic, out of breath and covered with sweat. I had the darvocet the next night in a different room at New England Baptist Hospital, a very old and odd building. I woke up, jumped out of the bed and was walking home. This was all after a spinal fusion and I had several drain tubes, IVs and was freshly bolted together, but I was walking home from Roxbury at 2 am and nobody was going to stop me. For some reason, I made my self stop at the bathroom and collect my thoughts before I got too far through the building.


I do remember a couple of times in the hospital for my ostomy surgeries that I woke up swinging. One time I actually hit the monitor in front of me. I'm not sure if I almost hit a nurse or not. I really don't know what I was trying to fight, but I remember throwing haymakers from y bed. I'm glad I didn't hit anyone, or rip out an IV, nose hose or feeding tube!! That was Dilaudid.
 
Reply by Past Member, on Sun Jul 12, 2009 12:21 pm
                                 
weewee wrote:
yes that is a good story about morphine to a good tilt but for me i didnt hear anything made me sleep like a baby till the day they took it away as far as they clock i covered it up so i didnt sit there and watch time slowly creep by the nurses said i was the only one who covered the clock and it drove them crazy


I always hated that machine, especially when something would need to be reset or the meds were low and it would go off, BEEP BEEP BEEP sounds like the big garbage truck when it's backing up...seems it would set itself off just when I'm finally drifting off to sleep.  Wanted to pick it up and hurl it out the window ...but since I was attached to it figured it was probly not a good idea  lol
 
Reply by Past Member, on Sun Jul 12, 2009 4:07 pm
Also, another funny story about hospital stays and drugs. I used to bring my iPod in for hospital stays. I never really understood Pink Floyd until one day, on Morphine, I was listening to Comfortably Numb, and I got it.... It was kind of a scary moment Wink
 
Reply by lottagelady, on Sun Jul 12, 2009 5:01 pm
Why is it all night staff wear 'clumpy' shoes?

Hospital wards at night, the noisiest places on earth ...............
 
Reply by Mike, on Sun Jul 12, 2009 9:53 pm
                                 
vulcanBMk2 wrote:
A couple of years ago , in Hosp , On the second night after my Urostomy Op. I was in considerable pain. The night sister said I could have a Limited number of Super Strength painkillers ,so I took 2.
I started to relax to let them work, but was suprised when the Ward door opened & a doctor in a white coat & a nurse in uniform, paddled down the ward , a Metre off the floor, in an Aircraft type bright Orange , survival Rubber Dinghy!!.
No sooner had they gone than lights started flashing & Disco Music started with an assortment of people Disco Dancing on the floor & Upsidedown on the Ceiling ( Shades of Lionel Richie)
I dont remember much else untill i awoke next morning---But I had a quick look around for an orange rubber boat & a DJ...???..Nothing...Pain went & it never happened again...!!!!
Are you it was'nt a dream
 
Reply by Past Member, on Sun Jul 12, 2009 10:08 pm
                                 
lottagelady wrote:
Why is it all night staff wear 'clumpy' shoes?

Hospital wards at night, the noisiest places on earth ...............


Hi lottagelady Smile  "Clumpy shoes" ...oh gosh yes, isn't that the truth! lol  Let's see, clumpy shoes, squeaky carts, loud mechanical humming noises from unknown places, moans from down the hall, waking you up every 15 minutes for blood pressure upon each visit the nurses ask you why you're not sleeping then show up 15 minutes later again to take bloodpressure again...and say "You're still awake?" ... just the sound of that door opening at night and the shaft of light hitting you in the face.  Ahhh yeah.   Sorry lottagelady, you stirred one memory after the next lol.   Cheers girl!
 
Reply by Snowwhite, on Sun Jul 12, 2009 11:34 pm
I have read your post Royost. And I read it again. No where does it mention any mind altering meds.......LOL!!
 
Reply by weewee, on Mon Jul 13, 2009 6:25 am
You guys must have been nice for them to bother you all the time lol i would tell them get out let me sleep shut the door turn the lights off then they ask you are you in pain what is your level 1 thru 10 oh you  need to take some perceset y would i want asprin i would say then the only pain i have is you keep botherin me i will call you when my bags are full thats the only time i did and of course then the beeps the mashine made when empty of course or the oh my i shit myself you need to change me lol they soon didnt bother to much when they i know my doc never forgot me from when i was in there 14yrs b4 this one he said he dint want me to yell at him did his wish come true hummmmmm NOPE lol to this day he gets me in and out no chat time no BS or he gets the bat is what i tell him he has learned when you say it hurts dont push it or watch out fist is ready for you
well have a nice day
 
Reply by JayJay, on Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:02 pm
I enjoyed reading these posts. When I was in the hospital after the operation the only machine that talked to me was the DAMM IV machine. It seemed at night everytime I finally got to sleep the DAMM thing would start beeping and wake me up. The last night I was in the hospital they changed my pain medicine from IV to a different one by mouth and it made me have the most God awful dream that the hospital was holding me prisoner and they weren't going to let me leave. Even after I woke up it seemed real that they were going to make an "example" of me and keep me there forever.
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