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Posted by christiesdad, on Sun Jan 20, 2013 2:01 pm
Just for the guys....
Ok, Guys,
Whether you like it or not, if you haven't already faced this delima, someday you will have to, more likely than not. That is, YOU are going to take over the job of doing house hold chores. Not just taking out the garbage, the whole shebang. Laundry, cooking, cleaning. Here ae a few hard learned tips to guide you along the way:
1. Keep a good pair of scissors in the kitchen. You will have to use them to open those plastic, easy open packages that you bring home from the grocery store. Use them when chopping up vegatables'carrots must be quartered the long way first, before you can use the scissors to cut them with; otherwise you will end up with carrots all over the floor.
2. It is ok to brush the food crumbs off the counter top and stove onto the floor; provided you then sweep and mop the floor, ( if you have a dark floor it's o.k. to skip the mopping each time.)
3. If it wasn't all that good; Don't wrap it in saran wrap and stick it in the fridge ( You will never eat it again!) Plus that is another job you will create.
4. Mopping; No matter what the bottle says, you do have to sweep before just pouring Mop and Glow onto the floor. (You will end up with shiny bread crumbs if you do)
5. Regardless of our ignorance; towels, face cloths, and hand hand towels do have a front and back. You will notice a little tag on each one; that is the back side,( or inside, whatever!) and must be folded with the tag inside the fold, you will catch on.
6. Never let a sister-in-law, or any one else clean up your kitchen for you; You will never find where they hid you utinsels!
7. Forget the egg-turner; go to home depot and buy a 6 inch dry wall knife;
It works far better than an egg-turner.
8. Those big jars, cannisters? If you don't already have them labeled as to contents; Get a roll of masking tape and label them; you won't have to open each one to find the sugar.
9. The dishwasher; no advice there. Just cram them in any way you can. ( When you go to take them out; if not clean, just leave them in for the next time you cram other dishes in.
10. For God's sake!! Take the garbage out before it spills out onto the floor; requires going back to step # 2 and step # 4
.
Remember, it will come to you eventually,sooner or later, one way or the other!
 
Reply by gutenberg, on Sun Jan 20, 2013 9:43 pm
Man but that was just a plethora of sagacious advice, do we have a book in the making? Yep Get er Done. Ed
 
Reply by Primeboy, on Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:16 am
Great advice. Unfortunately in my house I have to clean the dishes before they go in the dishwasher. Figure that!   PB
 
Reply by gutenberg, on Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:32 pm
Hi PB, yeah I have seen this senario play out at my house and as long as its not me doing it I found it best to just keep the old trap shut and we get along just fine. Ed
 
Reply by Xerxes, on Tue Jan 22, 2013 12:39 pm
Hi All,

I like that and have indeed encountered what you say, Christiesdad. However, one quick bit of advice, (maybe this will help PB), before you put the dishes in the washer, let the dog lick them clean. It works for me  just fine. I call it my pre-wash cycle.

X_
 
Reply by gutenberg, on Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:38 pm
Pre-wash cycle dogs:
Lickety Labs
Sparkling Spaniels
Dishy Daschounds
Boxer Bathers
And for osteys:
Poodle Poucher planters and for excitement put a cat in the pouch and sit back.
 
Reply by Primeboy, on Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:03 am
                                 
Xerxes wrote:
Hi All,

before you put the dishes in the washer, let the dog lick them clean. It works for me  just fine. I call it my pre-wash cycle.

X_


Great idea! I should watch Martha Stewart's show more often. You can learn something new every day. Good one, X.
 
Reply by ron in mich, on Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:11 pm
hi we got a cannister vac and all i do is spray floor cleaner and vac and wash in one go try it it works but dont tell the wife make her think you do the whole routine of sweeping and picking up crumbs and stuff.  ron
 
Reply by christiesdad, on Wed Jan 23, 2013 5:26 pm
Re X's post:

A few years ago this story was in the "Dear Abby" column;

It seems as though this couple, after having been invited over for dinner one evening, showed up the very next night at dinner time.  The hostess, not wanting to be rude, invited the couple to stay for dinner again that night. They accepted the invitation and since the hostess was a surpurb cook, enjoyed another scrumptious meal.  Well  the couple began showing up every night at dinner time expecting to be feed yet again.  The hostess began going out just at dinner time, thinking that would solve the problem.  Not so, the un-invited couple would wait in their car until the hostess returned and march into the house  and make themselves at home.   Still the hostess did not want to be rude so she devised a brilliant plan and hoped it worked.
That evening when the meal was over, the guest, as aways offered to help clear the table and assist with the dishes.  The hostess said that she was tired and was going to do it the easy way that night.  She asked everyone to pass their dirty plate down to her, where she promptly arranged them in a circle on the floor at her feet.  At this point the normally well trained pet dog bounded over to the feast and licked the plates clean as a whistle.  The hostess then stated, "Now you can give me a hand, Dear."to th guest lady.  She rose from the table,  picked up an arm load of dishes and promptly stacked them in the ardmore next to the table.   The guests were so shocked  that they took their hasty leave and never came back again.  The hostess assured Dear Abby that she did remove the dishes and give them a good washing while her husband rolled on the floor laughing.
 
Reply by Xerxes, on Thu Jan 24, 2013 7:44 pm
Speaking of Dear Abby, didn't she just 'shuffle off this mortal coil' at the age of 94? Yet her pic looked as if she was 54. Ah, what's 40 years anyway.

X_
 
Reply by Primeboy, on Thu Jan 24, 2013 9:49 pm
                                 
Xerxes wrote:
Speaking of Dear Abby, X_


For many many years Abby had a widely syndicated column which offered wholesome, straightforward and honest advice to the lovelorn. I remember one of her more memorable posts which went as follows:

Dear Abby:
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job over six years ago he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does is buy cigars and cruise around and bullshit with his pals, while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me anymore. What should I do?
Signed,
Clueless

Dear Clueless:
Grow up and dump him. For Pete's sake, you don't need him anymore. You're a United States Senator from New York, act like it!
 
Reply by Xerxes, on Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:48 pm
PB,

Thanks for that. I guess Abby said a mouth full. (Sorry for the pun).

X_
 
Reply by Primeboy, on Fri Jan 25, 2013 9:14 pm
                                 
Xerxes wrote:
I guess Abby said a mouth full. X_


X, your allusion to oral history called my attention to a little known fact. Dear Abby is the professional moniker used by Pauline Phillips, the author of the column.  Pauline's identical twin sister, Esther, was professionally known as Ann Landers.
See, it's really true: you can learn something new everyday.  
PB
 
Reply by Xerxes, on Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:56 pm
PB,

In other words, "a rose by any other name smells just as sweet?" Ah, the Bard resurfaces.

X_
 
Reply by bob.hewson, on Sat Jan 26, 2013 5:38 pm
We all know women get married in white to match the rest of the kitchen appliances but why did I get married in black?

Mourning??
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