Past Member, on
Mon Apr 08, 2013 10:29 am
I too am a very strong person and I read how frustrated you are with your family and "doing for everyone when they can readily do it for themselves" Here is what you do: Tell them that you are indeed a strong person but you NEED their support and help on a daily basis!! I don't much like Dr. Phil but on occasion he says things that are really good and here is one I need to pass on to you.
YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU!!! So in other words, the more you DO NOT VERBALIZE YOUR NEEDS the more things stay the same.
I too had a horrible time with 3 surgeries, have diabetes, COPD, Polymyalgia, had a colostomy, reversal, Chron's/Colitus, and ended up with a permanent ilesostomy bag. Was in ICU 2 times, received 2 pints of blood, went into renal failure, etc. Was told I had C-diff, MRSA, did have a parasite the CDC got involved and I was in insolation. I am now doing great with having had 2 stays at rehabs, etc., and the BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD who was a fantastic caretaker for me and like others, had PT and Ot and a nurse for a while and learned to walk, use a wheelchair, walker, cane and am doing great. I feel I am blessed to be alive as lost 30 pounds and could not eat and had diarrhea for a very long time and the dr. said when my colon perforated it was like a bomb had gone off in my stomach, so I was a mess, but as I said, am doing great.
So I hope somehow you really become totally honest with your family or those around you. Like so many of us, you have had a life changing life transforming experience, and you get through it and we did-all of us on this board, and if someone says how strong you are--just AGREE AND SAY YES BUT HAVING SAID THAT I DO NEED HELP AND COMPASSION FROM OTHERS from time to time.