Thank you Debra - you speak for me too. I am not strong, I am TIRED from years of being strong. Be it my extensive medical histories - and results of what's left of my body condition from too many surgeries - to now, becoming divorced pretty soon. It's all in my lap to clean up the messes and even my son, who lives at home, sees only a woman who is annoying, but capable of doing all it takes to wrap up a marriage, save one house, and let a failing business property be taken. I live thousands of miles from any family or friends, and have said for years I was becoming exhausted, could not handle the things that kept piling on in health and family situations and all I get was, "You're the strongest person I know!" Not so much right now. In the home, your post nailed it - those who live with you SEE how sick you are and struggling, but it's still on you to handle what they can't, won't or whatever the crisis de jour is. I only get shouted at for being no fun, not able to go or do - or when I planned and really wanted to come out and PLAY - my body, and then mounting, undiagnosed PTSD/Anxiety caused me to drop out of life. I was the thing that lived in the house. Everyone has their own life. I was a willing participant in moving far from family and friends in order to sustain a good income for my husband as it became clear in 2002, my work days were DONE. I got permanent SSDI for Crohn's on the first pass, but - it's thought because I was strong on focus at the time, I did make the point enough the first try to prove I required Disability. Since that time, I have had 6 more surgeries, and the cumulative effects of constant illness and internal structure problems for a year leading into each surgery became EVERYONE'S NORMAL. Including mine. Added to it, my contribution to the family without income was to assist and support, and grow the income property my husband bought in 2006. It chained me to the house doing business, becoming a nag, not a wife - and it deteriorated my mental status along with the illness, body losses, sexuality issues into causing him to bugger out of the marriage. It's his methods that took the business down, and he's pushed to the gills with his W-2 job, the physical plant running of the apartment property - but no communication, with willful defiance of all business plans I set up landed me with PTSD/Anxiety. That diagnosis was made in 2011 after a decade of throwing every antidepressant on the planet at me - which all failed because all were the wrong meds for a wrong diagnosis. Each pill, each surgery, each business crisis - chipped away at STRENGTH and ability to hang in, hang on and push threw. It's not like I was not saying HELP ME for the last few years. "You can do this, you are strong!" "Pray!" "Meditate!" "Think positive thoughts." With no meaningful support or a method to back up the help I was learning in therapy that got chipped away it within the home setting. So the husband walks out for the third and final time this December after my Strength Failed. I tried to take my own life because I got that low and that cornered, and that stupid. I WILL LIVE, I WANT TO LIVE. And even that idiotic act was - well, see? You made it through that! Monday morning QB from afar while it's on my to packet up trying to save the family house, lose the income property and cobble together a way to become divorced. And I am NOT feeling sorry for myself. It's what I MUST DO. But calling me strong is not helping. I am exhausted, don't sleep, and it's the last bit of PUSH in energies to wrap all this up - and still not know what my future is to be. All this is affecting my ability to stave off illness triggers. I feel a flare coming on, but have no time for it. There are no caped heroes to come dig my ass out of this. Strength is at low tide. I will do what I have to do - and create serenity, likely living in Section 8 housing, and as I am a landlord myself - who's going to rent to a woman with 6 cats?! A punch line, this being strong.