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How Do You Gain Weight After An Ileostomy?

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Posted by violet-hummingbird, on Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:07 am
Hiya whatnow.

He sounds exhausted and depressed,,lacking motivation to get moving ,and to cope with his own 'pipework!'

I wonder if some antidepressants might help - have you chatted with the Dr about it? Its difficult to get the head /mind away from focussing on bad health times - have you had a holiday recently? Is he getting out into open spaces, to see nature/ have a walk (even if its only a few metres at first) ? As the spirit lifts, so appetite picks up . It takes a long time and a lot of energy.
I hop things get better for you both.
 
Reply by Immarsh, on Wed Sep 25, 2013 2:03 pm
Hi Anne,

I read your post, and the replies of others, and I do agree that you have your "hands full".  

My experiences with having an ostomy, and then  being married to a man who had an ostomy,  goes back more than 50 years.  

I was 15 when I had my surgery ( I'm 65 now),  and received the best advice from a then 4th year medical student, who was on my doctor's service.  After being sick for 3 years, I was use to "people" parents doctors, nurses taking care of me.  But after my surgery, Doc. Henry M, told me in no uncertain terms, when I asked him to "clean me up", that It was my body, and my responsibility.  Boy, did that shake me up!!!   But I was young, and he set me on the right path.   While still in the hospital, I learned to take care of myself, which was so difficult, because I was also in a back brace, with a disintegrated disc, and osteoporosis...  That would go on for another year, so I had to empty & "change" my ostomy appliance in bed and on my back.   And then after I "changed" I had to wash and clean out the "re usable pouch.....ready for the next change.   Where was my mother ( & father)  ?  They were there to help if I needed it, but I guess they received the advice that I should do as much as I could....on my own...

My story continues, as I married a man, who also had an ileostomy, and although he was also independent, when he got sick, and dehydrated, I became his nurse......when he really should have been in the hospital.  Big mistake, but I loved him.....and so I helped...  

Miraculous as it was, we had two children, who both unfortunately, in herited my Ulcerative Colitis, and his Crohn's Disease.   So there we/ I were, taking care of two teens, with medical issues.  

The best advice that I felt I could pass on to them, was to learn about their own body, their own responses, and eat what felt okay for them.  I received a lot of criticism for that, but 12 & 14 year olds, do know what they can tolerate, so when one came home from school and reached for a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter, that's what he had...  I would have liked them to "eat healthy", but maintaining weight was more important, so I can't tell you how many cans of spaghetti o's we went through,a nd how many boxes of twinkies...and devil dogs....

So, you may ask, what I my "advice".   1),   Try to back off some, and make your husband more responsible for finding the foods/ calories He WANTS TO EAT,  to maintain his weight...
Chips, pudding, ice cream   etc....   My kids doctor pointed out that "Pizza" was a perfect food, with all food groups, as long as the dairy didn't adversely affect the kids...

I know you can't pick up a grown man, and make him go out and exercise, anymore than I could carry my 6' tall high school senior out to the bus....    But when I pointed out the repercussions, of his missing school ( getting left back) he slowly took on the responsiblity for getting up and getting out of the house.   I didn't care if he slept the day away in the nurses office, as long as he got credit for the day, and got his HW assignments.  

When I was sick as a child, my mother didn't let me stay in my bed clothes all day....  even if I did go back to bed.   Instead, I had roomy "lounging " outfits, that weren't confining like Jeans.....but they also weren't PJ's.  She also made me "make the bed".   I could lay down on it, and use another blanket, but it was a way to make daytime, different than night time.  

Oftentimes, we want to make our loved ones the most comfortable, and so we do more for them than we need to do....and it becomes a habit.  Some sort of therapy might be helpful for you and your husband, as you both find ways to cope with the changes in your lives...

Today....I'm 65,  in early retirement due to many medical issues.  But I live alone, and take care of myself, but do have help from many good friends.   My older son still has Crohns, but manages his attacks, as he works as a middle school teacher.  My  younger son, met and married an Australian Gal,   but a few years ago, she developed MS.  After much research, she put them both, as well as their little boys, on a vegan/ auto immune supported diet.  Jay is off medication for the first time in 17 years, and they are all doing well.  

I appologize for the length of this....but I hope it will help..

PS....My 73 year old ex husband, died two weeks ago....He had advanced Kidney disease, and was on dialysis, was an out of control diabetic, with sores on his legs, needed a hip replacement, but couldn't have it done because of the sores.  Ultimately a systemic infection, along with a stroke and heart attack caused his death.  This was sad for my sons, and for me, but for as long as I can reemmber, he was resistant to following medical advice, and just did what he wanted...   There's a lesson to be learned here.....    and although my life is not what I would have wanted it to be, I do the best I can with every good day that I have, and am grateful, to still be walking, talking and breathing at the same time.
 
Reply by Queenmum, on Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:28 am
I have had an ileostomy for 47 years.  When I had my surgery I was joyous then to be able to eat almost any thing and everything.  My mainstay was Oreo cookies and my friend's mom who cooked three great meals a day.  I gained 30 pounds in three months which brought me up to 100 lbs.  There was not such thing as Ensure or Boost then.  In reading some of the food choices being injected to gain weight I think about and have concerns for high blood sugar results like in diabetes.  Especially if you are older in age. I am not a nurse or doctor but I think I would be a little cautious.  Mostly, I would say such eat.  It is going to take a bit of time to gain back the weight lost or a reasonable weight for your body size/structure. Just relax and enjoy feeling good again.  No more stomach craps, no more diahreaha, no more extreme and restrictive diet to name a few.  At first I went through a lot of frustration getting use to changing my appliance.  Some times I cried, some times I laughed.  Then you just decide you got to do it not matter what.  They did not have ET nurses to fit me with an appliance and the kind used then were very archaic - out of the stone age kind. ha.  So much has improved in that arena.  Would love to here from anyone and everyone about their own personal experiences.

C
 
Reply by moonshine, on Sun Apr 27, 2014 11:16 pm

pasta, rice, potatoes, bread.....carbs will put weight on

 

 
Reply by buns56, on Fri Apr 17, 2015 11:39 pm

Hello, although I'm new to this site may I suggest boost in the juice form. It co.especially in peach orange and berry but you can't buy it in stores, you have to order it from the the boost company.  Look it up online.

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