I thought it was scary to come out with crohn's but crohn's & the ostomy is a whole new bag of chips. I know sex will be different too and that a partner will need to accept some limitations.
I think you are right and there are people out there but the question is are they most of the other qualifications we seek in a partner. I am not picky but I don't want to settle on things like values, personality and some physical attributes that are important to me. I just don't want to invest in someone only to get hurt when they find out. I also don't want to advertise myself as the ostomy guy on dating sites because I think I'll never get a date.
Allllll the best!!
I'm replying to TJames and Crohns guy.....but this is really for everyone.... Gay, straight, ostomy.....bald....short, fat,¬†¬†tall, blond, brown or red head....¬†¬†
Viking has the right idea....¬†¬† It's the way we feel about ourselves that is the most important part of "acceptance".
¬†¬†How and when to tell is a personal choice, but after the "greater world" knowing about me as a child....I decided I wanted anonymity....
Eventually,¬†¬† I married a man who had an ostomy, and while we had that in common, we had little else and the marriage fell apart.¬†¬†¬†¬†
My ostomy was never an issue for me...when dating.
I was more upset and insecure, about¬†¬†my scarred up body ( stretchmarks)¬†¬†stretched out breasts ( from a back brace I had to wear), and my overall appearance.....since I was overweight.¬†¬†
It was easy enough to hide the ostomy under clothes....even bathing suits.... but the other issues plagued me throughout life.
It's only now, that I'm 65, and still dating, that I have a better sense of self, and self esteem, that get's me through the "reveal".¬†¬†
It's not always easy, but if I really like someone, then after one or two dates, I tell....¬†¬† sometimes it's too soon, sometimes it matters, and othertimes it doesn't.¬†¬†
One guy was really accepting....and we dated for awhile, but I was amused at his question....¬†¬†¬†¬†He wanted to know if I could still have "anal" sex.¬†¬† Duh....I haven't had an anus since I was 19.......so the best way to answer was to "let him feel".¬†¬†His reply was ....Hmmm¬†¬† I guess not...¬†¬† I try to rely on Humor....Humor and more humor.¬†¬†
I was dating another guy for awhile, told him about my surgery.....and he didn't seem to have an issue with it....¬†¬† He asked to "see", and I accomodated....¬†¬† Thought all was well, until I gurgled, and it seems that was the "deal breaker for him".¬†¬† Didn't get that....It was ok for him to fart....from behind, but I couldn't.....¬†¬†¬†¬†such is life....
Best of luck to all of you out there trying to connect....¬†¬† Have kess many frogs......and haven't met my prince yet....but I try to remain optomistic...
That was a wonderful reply. Thank you.
Immarsh as for noises, there are those stiflers that may help.