I thought it was scary to come out with crohn's but crohn's & the ostomy is a whole new bag of chips. I know sex will be different too and that a partner will need to accept some limitations.
I think you are right and there are people out there but the question is are they most of the other qualifications we seek in a partner. I am not picky but I don't want to settle on things like values, personality and some physical attributes that are important to me. I just don't want to invest in someone only to get hurt when they find out. I also don't want to advertise myself as the ostomy guy on dating sites because I think I'll never get a date.
Allllll the best!!
I'm replying to TJames and Crohns guy.....but this is really for everyone.... Gay, straight, ostomy.....bald....short, fat, tall, blond, brown or red head....
Viking has the right idea.... It's the way we feel about ourselves that is the most important part of "acceptance".
How and when to tell is a personal choice, but after the "greater world" knowing about me as a child....I decided I wanted anonymity....
Eventually, I married a man who had an ostomy, and while we had that in common, we had little else and the marriage fell apart.
My ostomy was never an issue for me...when dating.
I was more upset and insecure, about my scarred up body ( stretchmarks) stretched out breasts ( from a back brace I had to wear), and my overall appearance.....since I was overweight.
It was easy enough to hide the ostomy under clothes....even bathing suits.... but the other issues plagued me throughout life.
It's only now, that I'm 65, and still dating, that I have a better sense of self, and self esteem, that get's me through the "reveal".
It's not always easy, but if I really like someone, then after one or two dates, I tell.... sometimes it's too soon, sometimes it matters, and othertimes it doesn't.
One guy was really accepting....and we dated for awhile, but I was amused at his question.... He wanted to know if I could still have "anal" sex. Duh....I haven't had an anus since I was 19.......so the best way to answer was to "let him feel". His reply was ....Hmmm I guess not... I try to rely on Humor....Humor and more humor.
I was dating another guy for awhile, told him about my surgery.....and he didn't seem to have an issue with it.... He asked to "see", and I accomodated.... Thought all was well, until I gurgled, and it seems that was the "deal breaker for him". Didn't get that....It was ok for him to fart....from behind, but I couldn't..... such is life....
Best of luck to all of you out there trying to connect.... Have kess many frogs......and haven't met my prince yet....but I try to remain optomistic...
That was a wonderful reply. Thank you.
Immarsh as for noises, there are those stiflers that may help.