This isn't really IBD related per se, but has anyone here ever been cheated on by their spouse? I have been in my relationship since 2002 and married since 2008. I have had Crohn's since 1994. My CD almost killed me a few times and the biggest memory of almost dying, my husband was by my side rushing me to the hospital. He helped me through my darkest days. Unfortunately, our sex life was nonexistent because I was so ill. I had my first surgery in 2008 only months after our wedding. My second surgery was in 2010, which resulted in a permanent ileostomy. Even when I wasn't in so much pain, I had no sex drive in the least, and when we did have sex, it hurt so much. He seemed to be understanding, but I guess it got to him because about 3 months back, he had an affair with a 22-year-old in an open relationship. She knew he was married, and I didn't know about her at the time. I didn't have a clue this was going on because I work morning shifts at my job, and my husband worked evening shift. I was in bed by 10 pm, and that was when he got out of work. I was always asleep when he was supposed to be home, but apparently, he was screwing around. I finally started to notice he was working later a lot. That made the wheels in my head start turning. He had his phone locked and wouldn't tell me the code. He changed his phone's password on a regular basis, but I finally saw him slip up and unlock his phone in front of me, and then I knew the code. One morning, he was asleep on the couch, and I was awake getting ready for work and took advantage of the unguarded phone and saw his one text he forgot to delete to her. It made me sick. That was a very bad day at work. I kept a close eye on his actions and set up a way to see his texts online without him knowing. I had all the evidence I needed, and I confronted him. He said he was sorry but never told me the whole truth. Through more searching, I found out more information. I knew her phone number, her name, her age, that they texted and never called each other, sent pictures to each other, they were friends on FB, and they emailed one another. I was missing the last piece to this sickening puzzle, which I got two days ago. I had foolishly thought this was just an emotional affair, and he even told me they never slept together, but he slipped up again, and I found out they had sex at least four times. I almost threw up. My heart sank into my stomach, my body couldn't stop shaking, I burst into tears. How could he do this to me after all I have been through!? He says he regrets that this ever happened, I think he regrets I found out more. The relationship between them was over when I found out, but they were still friends, but no sex. If I never found out, he would have just left it be and went on living a lie. We are going to try counseling and go from there. I told him this is his only chance to make this work with me because if I find out he is even looking at other women the wrong way, I am leaving him for good. I can't do this to myself. My question to you is how do I get past this hurt? How do I move forward in my life? How do I get past these sick images that play over and over in my head? How do I learn to trust again? How do I make myself want to get out of bed and stop crying? How do I make my heart stop hurting every waking second of the day? How do I even make love to him again without thinking he shared the same kind of thing with her? Do I even confront her or let her go off scot-free? Thank you for reading this, and sorry it is so long. I am just so lost and confused and certainly depressed now.
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