Paddy and Murphy!

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klark
<>



<>Shamus died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.

The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best ;friends, Paddy Murphy.

The three men had always done everything together.

Murphy arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet.



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<>Murphy said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'

The mortician rolled him over and Murphy said, 'Nope, ain't Shamus.'

The mortician thought this was rather strange.

So he brought Paddy in to confirm the identity of the body.

Paddy looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up.

Roll him over.'

The mortician rolled him over and Paddy said, 'No, it ain't Shamus'

The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'

Paddy said, 'Well, Shamus had two assholes.'

;'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.

;'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say:



<>

'There's Shamus with them two assholes.'

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another classic klark...heres a good one



<>Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"


<>The man said, "I do Father."


<>The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"


<>"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.


<>"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"


<>O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father.


<>The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"


<>O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go on a trip right now."

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