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Posted by klark, on Mon Feb 23, 2015 10:33 pm
A crusty old biker out on a long summer ride in the country pulls up to a tavern in the middle of nowhere, parks his bike and walks inside.
As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign hanging over the bar:
COLD BEER : $2.00 MEAT PIE : $2.25
BACON & EGG PIE : $2.50
HAND JOB : $50.00
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the old biker walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female barmaid who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled farmers.
She glides down behind the bar to the old biker.
"Yes?" she enquires with a wide, knowing smile, "may I help you?"
The old biker leans over the bar, "I was wondering young lass," he whispers, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs, "Why yes, yes, I am".
The old biker leans closer and into her left ear whispers softly, "Well, wash your hands real good, cause I want a meat pie".




Reply by Immarsh, on Tue Feb 24, 2015 3:25 am

Hi Clark,  Thanks for sharing.   a little humor is good for the soul.   I don't think we've met.   I'm Marsha, and I just noted that we're practically neighbors...   I live in Freehold, but have taught in both Hazlet and Middletown. 

I read your profile, and saw that you've really gone through a lot in recent years. Getting over the affects of all the treatments were probably more difficult than coping with the Ostomy.   I know that was my situation.    I was sick with ulcerative colitis for four years as a child, from 12-15, and then had to have 3 different surgeries over the next three years, to finally get all the diseased intestines out.  So I have a permanent ileostomy, which I've always thought of as my "badge of survival". 

In reality, all the medical treatments I endured prior to surgery were more difficult and caused more damage than did the surgery.  I married a man who also had IBD, although he had Crohn's which can be much worse.   And although we were assured that our conditions were not hereditary, we found out years later   that they are,   We have one son with Crohn's and one with UC.  But both have been able to manage their conditions with medication & diet, and have not yet needed surgery.  They are both in their 40's, and are raising families of their own, so now we are all "watching" the little ones.  Sort of like, "waiting for that shoe to drop".   Been there, done that, but one does have to have faith.   I'd love to hear from you, if you'd like to chat.  

Best Regards...





Reply by LadyHope, on Tue Mar 03, 2015 10:19 pm

Hi Marsha and Clark,  I want to thank you for sharing your medical journeys and the aftermath of treatment with all of us.  I had UC several years ago and the end result was my stoma.  Although all the docs said side effects from the various treatments were minimal, I seem to be that one in a million that developed almost every side effect.  I can't believe it.  I wish I was that lucky when I play the lottery.  Anyway, my emotions still go up and down like a roller coaster.  Prior to the UC, I was fine for 47 years old.  Today I have some weird cough/breathing problem that won't go away, stuffy/clogged nose, aches/pains that travel to different places in my body and osteoporsis/osteopenia.  Thanks steriods and nexium/prilosec.  I took the stomach meds to control the acid because the other meds were tearing up my stomach.  I try not to think of things too much because it makes me very sad.  And the end result a stoma with the side effects from the treatment.  I named my stoma too.  It made me feel better.  I blame myself sometimes because I feel that I knew what could happen and still agreed to the treatment. The bottom line is that I really wanted to live and not die.  I am so thankful that I had these last two years.  They have been a gift.   I pray every day that things will day at a time, right?  Thank you for letting me vent.  I really appreciate your posts and the great jokes.  I look forward to reading the next joke.  Thank you again.  LH

Reply by klark, on Tue Mar 03, 2015 10:39 pm

I'm so glad you get to laugh at this goofy stuff I post. I get most of it from friends, ex co-workers and family.

Keep your chin up!! 

Reply by octobersunrise, on Fri Mar 06, 2015 7:58 pm

Love your jokes.  Keeps my spirits up.  loretta

Reply by LadyHope, on Sat Mar 07, 2015 2:01 pm

Hi Loretta,  I so agree with you.  I really like the jokes and look forward to the new ones.  I read your profile and it says that you live in New Mexico.  I always wanted to visit the state for a vacation.  Maybe one day soon...I have it on my bucket list.  Take care and have a nice weekend.  LH 

Reply by octobersunrise, on Tue Mar 17, 2015 11:41 am

 Hi, Lady.  If you ever  get to Roswell NM ,let me know

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