Since my divorce, my approach has always been the exact opposite. No mention at all about the ostomy during first date or second date.
Several of my dates have resulted in a relationship and 'intimacy'. With a tight-fitting elasticated stoma support belt around the bag - and making sure it was emptied immediately before - I managed to ignore it completely and carry on with the date as normal.
On the 2nd/3rd 'intimate' occasion, their curiosity then made them ask about the belt. No-one ever mentioned it the first time. I suppose people are just too embarrassed to ask the first time with someone. I just said I had had some surgery there once, and changed the subject.
Each time the question was raised, I give a little more info about it - but only when asked. By the time I had fully explained about my ileostomy, there was no need for me to say how it doesn't affect me having a fulfilling sexual relationship, as they already knew! All of the women I have met since my divorce have been great about it. Not one ended the relationship because of the bag or thought any worse of me.
My advice is to just go for it, who dares wins, as the SAS say. OK it can be hard the first time, but if you do, it can work out great. What's the worst thing that could happen? The bag bursting and/or being rejected? No worse than than not trying in the first place. What have any of us got to lose? Be brave!
Last edited by gt59 on Sun Oct 25, 2015 3:26 pm; edited 1 time in total